


Dangerously Perfect

by TwistedNymph



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Fluff, Gangbang, Gay, Gore, Gunkink, Homophobia, M/M, Prison, Rape, Violence, prison bitch
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2019-04-21 09:09:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 46,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14281629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwistedNymph/pseuds/TwistedNymph
Summary: When Sehun is locked up in a mens prison he is forced to choose between all he knows and everything he is yet to learn. Murderous but exciting Minseok makes sure this is a hard choice for a little lost lamb.





	1. Locked up

**Hi everyone! This is the first EXO fic I've actually gotten around to writing but you don't choose when the inspiration hits. This chapter won't be too long since it's backstory more or less, but I will try and update as soon as possible.**

**Warnings: This story will include extreme themes such as rape and abuse, please read with care but each chapter will have the warnings that are specific to that chapter. Please enjoy!**

**Chapter Warning: referenced rape, abuse, homophobia**

* * *

 

Minseok huffed at the maths equation that lay on the bed below him, he didn't understand a word that was written down on the crumpled A4 paper. The 18 year old rubbed his arm and winced when he felt the bruise under his plain white shirt. Minseok ran a hand through his bright blue hair and pushed the paper off of his bed and watched as it floated gently and gracefully to the oak wood floor below. He jumped at the sound of the front door slamming before quickly checking the time. 2:14am. Minseok jumped off the bed and ran across the room towards his bedroom door making sure to lock it before turning and throwing himself back at his bed. He dove under the blankets and turned off his bedside lamp before lying, motionless, under his blankets. He heard footsteps, heavy and stumbling, making their way up the stairs towards his bedroom. Minseok was unaware why he even bothered locking the door, it only made the footsteps angrier. He held his breath as the handle was turned. A grumble was heard on the other side of the door and was soon joined by banging. 

"Open this door, slut" a slurred voice said from the other side, "I know you're not asleep"

Minseok's heart was racing, the voice belonged to his step-father. 

"Open this door now or you'll get twice the beatings" the voice said again between hiccups.

Torn on what to do Minseok crept out of bed and checked under the bed before shakily walking over to the door and unlocking it. "C-come in" Minseok called out shakily. As soon as this was said the door burst open revealing Minseok's drunken step-father. The man was holding a jack daniels bottle and was swaying it at the open door.

"Get over 'ere" he said and approached the terrified Minseok who desperately tried to get away. Minseok was unsuccessful as the man launched himself as the young boy, hitting him with the bottle as they collided. Minseoks vision started to go fuzzy as he heard the same traumatizing belt buckle get unbuckled. Soon enough he was whipped with the same belt and fell back onto his bed, his head pounding and thigh burning. 

"Make a sound 'nd you're dead, slut" his step father called as he dropped his pants to the ground, eyeing up his stepson. Minseok felt his eyes start to well up both from fear and pain as he watched his stepfather through blurred vision and reached his hand under his bed to where it landed on some cold metal. Fear and Adrenalin surged through his veins as his stepfather put a hand on the crotch of his jeans. Minseok pulled the metal he'd wrapped his hand around out from under the bed and pointed the Beretta to his stepfather and didn't think twice before pulling the trigger. 

Blood splattered Minseok and the loud sound of the bullet leaving the chamber brought him back to his senses. Looking at the collapsed and dead body lying on his torso Minseok screamed. He didn't know what to do and started to panic when he heard his neighbors screaming too, he managed to wiggle his way out from under the heavy body just as police sirens were heard down the street. Minseok turned and looked in the mirror, he was covered in blood and bits of flesh and didn't have the time to clean himself up as the police were already at his door. Soon enough the front door was thrown open once more and Minseok fell to the floor in fear, however the scenario he was stuck in confirmed all of his actions. 

**XxX**

Sehun looked at the boy sat across from him. He was quiet and beautiful, in Sehun's opinion anyway, but he never spoke. It was lights out for him, he wasn't supposed to be awake but he couldn't help but stare across at the boy who slept peacefully in the bed opposite him. Sehun had been part of the Korean mafia for years, and not once had he ever felt this level of attraction to anyone else he had ever seen. Sehun crept out of bed and tapped the boy on the shoulder. The boy opened an eye and sat up, looking at Sehun in a confused manor. 

"You're beautiful" Sehun heard himself say. The 14 year old was shocked at out outright he had been but the boy didn't seem to mind. The boy smiled and reached a hand out to touch Sehun's cheek. Sehun felt himself blush as he leaned down, closer to the boy, who in turn closed the gap between them. This allowed their lips to touch and send Sehun into a fit of excitement inside. 

A loud bang caused Sehun to instantly pull away from the boy and spin around to see one of the older mafia members who had walked in and had seen everything.

"What are you doing" he demanded loudly and Sehun started shaking in fear as the man approached him, "speak!" he shouted and Sehun uttered out a small noise in fear.

The man reached into his pocket and pulled out a small baton, he started hitting Sehun until he bled, shouting the same words every time the baton connected with Sehuns skin. 

"You will not be gay!"

A few years later Sehun was walking down a street late at night, he was on a mission from the mafia and was finally allowed to be the commander of his own assignments, even though it took him 9 years to do. Sehun, however, got blind sighted by a gaybar he passed and was hypnotized by two gay men making out near the entrance. Rage filled him as he ran over and started punching one of the men, he couldn't stop hitting him no matter how much he tried, he kept shouting the same words he was told when he was 14. Even when the police turned up Sehun did not stop throwing punches, leaving the police no choice but to tazer him where he stood. Sehun didn't go down easily, not when he was told he was going to court and especially not when he was told he was guilty. The rage only increased when he found out he was going to a men only prison. 

* * *

 

**This chapter was short because it is simply due to explaining how both characters got into prison! I hope you enjoyed**


	2. That damn fag

******Chapter warnings: strip searching, swearing, homophobia**

* * *

Sehun sat in the back of the cop car looking out the window as the world sped past him. Trees morphed into one big green blur and drivers glared through the window into his soul. Who are they to stare? They don't know who he is and they don't know what he was capable of. Maybe that's why they stared, maybe they knew. Infamous korean mafia foster child Sehun. It was a mouthful of a title, but it followed him throughout his teens into his early twenties, and it was true. It was true Sehun was a foster child, it was true he was brought in by the Korean mafia, and it was true that he was brutal when it came to anything he believed was wrong. 

Sehun mentally scolded himself. If only he hadn't been so quick to judge. So quick to judge the gay couple outside the club, but not for the right reasons. He didn't hope the gay couple were unharmed, especially since he knew the man was injured and in hospital. Sehun hoped the actually straight couple were the gay couple he saw in his black vision. In the dim light of a nearby lampost, Sehun had mixed up a young woman with short hair and a young gay man and instantly jumped on his own defence.   
"You will not be gay" Sehun whispered to himself as the car drove to a stop outside a large facility lined with barbed wire and concrete walls. The building was so obviously threatening but it wasn't the appearance that put Sehun on edge but the fact of what was inside. Men. A lot of men. Sehun, being a young man himself, knew what men were capable of, knew of their greed and power. Sehun knew what would happen if two men get overrun with greed and lust. A sin. A big fat sin that Sehun didn't want anything to do with.

The door next to Sehun opened and two large hands grabbed him, pulling him out of his thoughts and onto the pavement below. Sehun tripped, taking a moment to regain his strength after being forced out of the car, before being dragged towards the big front door of the prison. The two cops holding his arms seemed pointless, he was handcuffed. However, Sehun could do many things with handcuffs, many things he was trained for and many things he figured out on his own. Once inside the reception like area Sehun had a moment to look around while the burly guard signed some papers and the other stood next to him, the grip becoming further everytime Sehun moved his head to glance around. There were some big windows letting the light in on the plain grey walls and FloroQuartz epoxy floor. A few sofa's lined the wall below the window and a desk sat alone against the far wall next to a metal security door. In Sehun's opinion the place wasn't ugly, he quite liked the blandness as it reminded him of his room back at the Korean mafia. Eventually another guard entered the room and the other two left, Sehun presumed this was the end of his life outside. The guard grabbed him roughly and practically dragged him across the smooth flooring and through the metal door. The receptionist looked at Sehun as he smirked and winked at her, presuming this would be the last enjoyable human contact he would have in a long time.

Once through the door the scenery changed, along with the atmosphere. The crushing reality of being locked away hit Sehun as he was forced into a small room only this time the walls and floor were white instead of grey. The officer spun him around and removed the handcuffs allowing Sehun a chance to feel his own wrists again.  
"Strip" the officer commanded and Sehun winced,   
"why the fuck would I do that? Are you gay or something?" Sehun snapped,  
"Can it, homophobia, I need to search you now do as you're fucking told or you'll spend your first night in solitary confinment" the officer snapped back.  
"Oh shit yeah, be careful there's a gun up my ass" Sehun replied as he was forcefully bent over and stripped of his pants. The young man squeezed his face as he felt the guard ram his fingers into his asshole.  
"Hurry this up, fag!" Sehun shouted, "I haven't got shit stored there! I'd rather stay away from that thank you very much!" Thankfully the guard removed his fingers and pulled him back up before handing him a grey jumpsuit.   
"Suit up" the guard said and walked out the room leaving Sehun alone. Sehun sunk to the floor and hugged his legs. He wondered how he managed to get himself into this situation, and why of all places did it have to be this one. He knew about the rumours linked to this place, it was filled with fags and ignorant guards who liked to see everyone in pain. Sehun jumped as the guard banged on the door and shouted something along the lines of 'get dressed'. Not wanting another finger in the ass Sehun quickly changed into the grey jumpsuit before opening the door.

"It's my favourite colour how did you know" he mumbled as the guard grabbed his arm and walked him through another set of doors.   
"This is the hallway, on the right is the common room, down this hallway are the cells, you'll find everything else through the other doors in the common room" the guard said as they stopped walking outside one of the many lines of cells. These didn't seem like cells to Sehun, they didn't have the bars and there was no way to see inside. The guard opened the metal door and pushed Sehun inside, "this is your room, you'll find the one you're sharing it with in the common room." The guard walked off after saying this leaving Sehun alone, yet again, in a different room.

The cell, if it was even classed as one, wasn't overly bad. The room was fairly large and inside were two beds pushed up against opposite walls. Each bed had a table and a lamp, there was a large rug in the middle of the floor and there was even a seperate room with a toilet and sink inside along with a mirror. Sehun could get used to living like this, it seemed more pleasant than the cramped rooms at the mafia. Another difference was the amount of gay men he would meet, like the boy he met at the mafia. The young boy who seemed to light up the world with his smile, the boy he stole his first kiss and the boy who made him realize how sinned he used to be.

_Sehun sat opposite the boy. He didn't know his name, but he didn't feel like he needed to. They were under some covers in a secret tent they made somewhere in the mafia base. Sehun's hand was on the boys cheek as tears kept falling from his eyes. "So that's why you don't talk?" Sehun asked and the boy nodded. The two had been secretly meeting up and spending time together, even though Sehun knew the trouble he would get into. Tears started to fall as the vivid image of the young boys toungless mouth stuck in his mind like glue. "All for being gay?" he asked once more, the boy nodded. That's all they could do, Sehun would ask yes or no questions and the boy would nod or shake his head. "Is being gay that bad?" Sehun asked slowly, not looking at the boy but he could feel his nod against his cheek. "We won't get caught" Sehun said once more, reassuringly as he kissed the boys cheek and got up. He couldn't look at the boy any longer, the image was killing him. Sehun left that day. It was the last day he saw the boy. Sehun never knew what happened to him, but one day he was there and one day he wasn't. The same sequence of conversation kept reappearing in his dreams. "All for being gay?" He would say, followed by the nod of the young boy who couldn't speak anymore._

Sehun brought his hands up to his head and started smacking himself, "you will not be gay" he repeated three times before taking a deep breath. Sehun regained his posture and exited the room making a mental note of what number it was as all the rooms outside looked the same. Did prison really allow red rugs? Sehun thought about this as he walked through the hall and into the common room, but the sight of the common room stopped him dead in his tracks.

The room was giant. There were doors leading to more places plastering the room, and it was filled with different types of men wearing the same grey jumpsuit. The grey floor and walls were the same as the hallway only the room wasn't that bland. There were a few fake plants and a small tv with some table chairs against a wall, they didn't seem that comfortable to Sehun. The more he looked around the more stuff seemed to be in the room, there were chess tables and other tables with other weird games. Sehun swore some people were playing yahtzi. Over in the top right corner were two comfortable-ish looking lounge sofa's with a radio on a small table, however the people occupying them didn't seem to friendly. There was a big group of about six men playing with a deck of cards. Sehun sighed and sat on the floor next to a fake plant. Sehun looked up once more and scanned the room, his eye was caught by a older looking man with bright blue hair who winked at him. Sehun put his head down instantly.

"Did you see that?" Minseok said and laughed as Chanyeol mocked Sehun's reaction. "Fresh meat, it's rare one so delightful comes in here"   
"no, you're just picky" Baekhyun said as he placed Yixings arm over him.   
"He has a point" Yixing chirped in as Minseok flipped the two of them off.   
"I'm not picky, I just have taste" Minseok said as he turned his head on yixing, winking.  
"Taste? Shut up you were all over me when I came here!" Baekhyun shouted and crossed his arms in a huff. Yixing laughed and gave Minseok a low highfive out of Baekhyuns view. "You're both disgusting" he said as he shoved yixings arm off and went to sit next to Jongin.   
"They have a point about taste you know, Baek" Chanyeol said, leaning forward and changing what the radio was playing,  
"shut it you fury" Baekhyun muttered,  
"excuse me?!" Chanyeol stuttered.  
"That's right, Joonmyun told us about your bedsheets, can't believe you had to bribe commissary to get them" Baekhyun said a little louder. Chanyeol flashed Joonmyun a glare as he quickly changed the subject.  
"Minseok go talk to the little kid if you think you have what it takes! I bet 20 he doesn't succeed" Chanyeol said as he shoved Minseok to stand up.   
"I bet 40 he does" Yixing said and highfived Minseok again.

Minseok grinned at Chanyeol and headed over across the common room to where Sehun was sat, he made sure to run a finger through his blue hair to portray his sexy rugged look for extra points with the new kid.   
"What's up gorgeous?" Minseok said as he crouched down and lifted Sehun's head with the tip of his finger. Over on the other end of the common room Yixing was in fits of laughter with Chanyeol at Minseok's attempted pick-up-line.   
"Why the fuck is Luhan watching?" Baekhyun asked Yixing who simply pushed him off and went back to mocking Minseok.   
"Gorgeous?! What the fuck are you some fag?!" Sehun shouted and slapped Minseok's finger away from his face,  
"as a matter of fact I am, why? Like what you see?" he asked and winked,  
"ew no way! Get the hell away from me you disgusting creature you're a sinner fuck off away from me with your ugly ass hair!" Sehun shouted. Minseok felt himself getting slightly pissed off, nobody insulted his hair. Before he could retaliate another man stepped in the middle of them.  
"You heard him, fag, fuck off" the man said and Minseok flipped the man off and retreated back to his gang in defeat while Yixing and Chanyeol were still crying of laughter. 

"Damn fag" Sehun muttered,  
"I'm sorry about them" the man said as he sat down next to Sehun, "damn fags don't know where to stay"  
"It's okay... I can handle myself" Sehun said before clearing his throat, "thank you though, I'm Sehun"   
"Oh! You're Sehun?!" The man asked, obviously shocked.  
"Yeah? You know who I am?"  
"Only barely, I'm Luhan! Your cell mate!"

* * *

 

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Thanks for reading!**


	3. Bathroom nightmares

**I wanna start off by saying Happy Birthday Sehun baby!! I know by the time this gets uploaded it'll no longer be because I write during the night but either way when I started writing this story it was so who cares.**

**Chapter warnings: RAPE/GANGRAPE (in caps bc important not to ignore), gore, smut**

* * *

 

_Sehun ducted out of the way of a freshly shot bullet, hiding behind a desk. Sweat ran down his forehead as he clutched the scrumpled papers in his palm. The image of his friend lying, bleeding out, on the cold metal floor brought anger to his heart as he reached for the AK that lay abandoned on the floor next to his feet. Holding the gun in its right position Sehun stood up ever so slightly above the dark and blood splattered desk, pointing the barrel at the head of a challenging gang and shot a round of bullets through the thin sheet protecting them and into their skulls. Blood spattered the white sheet and Sehun heard the thump of the bodies hitting the floor. Sehun ran out from his cover and dived behind a wall, holding the gun to his chest as his last line of defence. He heard his boss' words echo throughout his head, "don't mess this up, kid." Sehun rubbed the sweat from his face, his heart pounding inside his chest as he heard another voice from the opposing corridor and soon enough the room was filled with smoke._

_"Fuck!" Sehun cursed to himself as he stayed still, if he was able to pull this mission off he would be the youngest in the entire mafia. He would be respected finally, they would forget about the issue with the boy. He wasn't 14 and stupid anymore, he was 20 and was more than capable of anything they could throw at him. Once the smoke started to clear, Sehun peered around the wall and aimed the AK at the faint outline of a person before shooting again._

_"Over there!" Some more voices shouted as Sehun began to panic, knowing he had just notified the enemy of his location. Curing inside, Sehun dived out from behind the wall free firing in any direction he heard a noise. He managed to hit two people as their groans and thud suggested. The 20 year old ran for the closest cover he could and dived behind another desk. He grabbed a corpse that was already there and used it as a body shield everytime he poked his head up from behind his barricade to try and figure out where the enemy hid. Sehun was a good shot, and he knew that. After all he had been gun trained since he was six which was the youngest the mafia had ever trained someone. He brought a lot of new opportunities to the organisation, they had extra publicity and they had him who by the age of 16 was incredibly respected for his abilities, however not respected as a person. Sehun poked his head up once more, he scoped the area and was able to catch sight of someone's leg sticking out from behind a sofa. Sehun rested the AK on top of the desk and reached for a pistol that was stuck firmly in one of the corpses pockets._   
_"I've always worked best this way" Sehun whispered to himself as he reloaded the pistol and held it firmly to his chest. Sehun crouched and ran from desk to desk through the offices, he made sure to stay unseen but he always had a grenade on his belt if everything went badly. He had always been told it was a bad idea, that if someone shot it he would be dead in an instant. Sehun didn't listen to them though. What did they know? Did they even know how hard it was to hit a moving target regardless one as small as the frag grenade on his belt strap? Sehun was always careful when on missions, he was even more careful when he had a grenade equiped. He wasn't stupid and he knew how to handle his weapons, he made sure he made it back to base in one piece. Sehun ran towards the desk that the man was hiding behind and launched himself over the desk shooting the man in the head as he went, falling off the desk and landing on the body. Sehun was instantly back in cover and quickly scanned the area for any hostiles, luckily there was nobody else behind or near the desk._

_He listened closely. He was listening for movement, voices or anything that would signify other people nearby. However, he was greeted with silence. Sehun let a smirk spread onto his face but it was soon wiped off as a sharp pain shot through his right leg causing him to fall to the floor. The panic was back, only this time it was agonizing. He tried crawling towards cover but the pain was too much. Sehun tried to twist his body but it wouldn't move, it was when he saw a shadow move out the corner of his mind did he realize he had never been alone behind the desk, he just didn't look far enough. Sehun's first thought was of death, it was over for him, he was going to be shot and would never be classed as the youngest to succeed in taking the information from a newly grown enemy gang. Sehun reached down to clutch as the papers that were stuffed inside his pocket, however he was greeted with an old friend. A friend that had never been used, but the time had come. Sehun knew the dangers associated with this, but he'd rather do this than let himself get caught. He reached down and pulled the grenade from his belt, pulling the pin, and he launched it in the direction of the man while mentally counting the distance between them. Oh how he hoped it was more than the 5 metre lethality zone._

_Sehun heard the grenade blow, he also felt the agonizing pain of being within the 15 metre casualty zone. He felt his skin get torn as he shielded his eyes. The smoke and smell of a body ripped to shreds brought him to tears and caused his throat to close up, but he was alive. He would be found and brought back to base bruised and broken, but alive. For once in his life, Sehun was thankful his reclace behavior didn't kill him, because he did something nobody else had done._

**XxX**

"Sehun?" Luhan called, shaking Sehun awake. Luhan had been awake for half an hour and had been watching his new friend squirm and cry in his bed, he'd presumed he was having a nightmare.  
"Huh?" Sehun asked sleepily. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, shocked to find his cheeks wet and his pillow stained with tears. It was at that moment when Sehun had realized his dream, it was the best mission he'd ever done, he was the youngest to do something like that and had gotten so much praise from the other gang leaders. He was the one that whiped out the remainder of the enemy gang, and soon enough everyone knew. Everyone knew Sehun's name and it boosted the infamy of the Korean mafia, soon enough they'd even get bigger than the Russian mafia. However that was until Sehun got caught by the police. Stupid foolish behaviour that could have been avoided, he shamed his gang and lost all the respect he so painfully gained over so many years in one stupid move. Sehun vowed he would never do that again, and he was going to stick to it. That meant no gay shit while being locked away inside this hellhole of horny men.

"You've been dreaming" Luhan said, sitting on the end of Sehun's bed and smiling at him, "what were you dreaming about? If you don't mind me asking? You seemed kind of scared"

"Nothing important, just one of the reasons I got locked up here" Sehun said and shook the memory from his head. He wasn't even sure if Luhan was fully straight so he couldn't go mouthing about his past like it was nothing. He had to be careful.

"Well we all have secrets" Luhan said and shrugged, "anyway i'll give you a little bit of an insight to how this place works. Probably really useful since the guards are hopeless"

"thanks" Sehun said as he stepped into the bathroom to get dressed,

"well to start off, buzzers signal when specific things happen so really as soon as you memorise the order things happen then who needs the timing. Wake-up is at 7 which gives everyone enough time to get dressed and do their own thing for an hour because breakfast is at 8, and it's a big deal so don't be one of those people who turn up late 'cause you'll be sat on the floor with the scraps. I'll keep you in check for mealtimes though. Breakfast finishes at 10 and we instantly have shower time which lasts until 11 but you can shower anywhere between 10 and 11 it doesn't matter that much. You can shower any other time if you miss the normal time but it's probably not the smartest if you're straight" Sehun turned his nose in the bathroom at that remark. "After shower we have free time which can be spent in the common room or in the yard nobody really cares, visitation is from 4 until 6, lunch is served at 1 until 3 and dinner is 7 till 8, and then we get more free time until lights out at 11, but we get put in our cells at 10" Luhan finished with a deep breath.

"That's not confusing at all" Sehun said as he came out the bathroom, his jumpsuit fasted up to his waist but the sleeves tighed around his hips with his chest slightly shown through a white vest underneath.

"sassy one aren't we?" Luhan said and laughed, "anyway lets go, hopefully we can bag the sofa's before the others get there" Sehun nodded and followed him out into the common room. "Shit we're too late" Luhan said as he pointed at a small group of other, non threatening, prisoners sat next to the radio. Sehun shrugged and went to sit on one of the deck chairs in front of the tv, followed by Luhan.

**XxX**

Kyungsoo banged on the bathroom door in the cell he shared with Minseok. "Hurry up for fucks sake you take ages, I bet some bastard has already stollen our seats!" Kyungsoo shouted against the door.

"I'm coming out in a second!" Minseok shouted back to his irritated cellmate,

"I bet he's doing his hair" Chanyeol chirped in from the door with a smirk plastered over his face, soon enough yixing and baekhyun appeared behind him and shoved past him into the room.

"He probably is, doesn't he realize it always looks the same?" Kyungsoo said and went to sit back on his bed, soon enough Minseok emerged from the bathroom, his blue hair styled in the exact same way it always is and went to sit back on his bed.

"Why the rush anyway? Breakfast isn't until 8?" Minseok asked quietly and yawned, he was never an early riser and prefered to be up during the night.

"If you want to get up the minute breakfast starts then go and room with Jongin and Jongdae" Chanyeol called out again, this time being pushed past by a tired looking joonmyun.

"You look how I feel" Minseok said, looking at Joonmyun who flipped him off, "bad nights sleep?" Minseok asked again, gaining a nod from Joonmyun who seemed to be falling asleep where he stood. "Chanyeol maturbating again?" He said and laughed, "come on then let's go before Kyungsoo bursts a vein."

The small group followed Minseok out of the room and walked face first into Jongin and Jongdae. "What the hell are you guys doing up?" Yixing asked being one of the only people who didnt collide with their other two friends.

"It's getting into summer, it's not fun to lay around in bed it gets sweaty" Jongin admitted as he turned to walk off into the common room.

"Not the only reason you two get sweaty" Baekhyun mumbled under his breath,

"oh my god, did you hear that? Baek made a sly comment, I'm so proud of you" Yixing said and pinched his cheek like he was a grandmother and Baekhyun was his unfortunate grandson.

"It's fun when it's not directed at me" Baekhyun said and grinned as he skipped off after Jongin.

Once the group had gotten into the common room they looked around at the small amount of prisoners actually there, Minseok instantly eyed the regular bastards that kept trying to steal their spot and nudged Kyungsoo since he was the most threatening out of the whole gang. However, Kyngsoo was preoccupied staring at the new kid that Minseok had tried hitting on yesterday. "Who the fuck is that?" Kyungsoo asked looking over at the rest of the group and signalling to Sehun, the majority shrugged.

"Minseok's failed prison bitch" Chanyeol said,

"yeah well that rabit from Zootopia is your failed prison bitch" Minseok retaliated earning a slight chuckle from Kyungsoo.

Eventually Kyungsoo's stoic gaze turned to the inmates that were sat on their usual sofa, he walked closer to them and glared at one of them, fear instantly washed over his face. "Fuck off" Kyungsoo growled and the small group instantly scampered off away from him. He turned around and grinned at the group as they regained their normal spaces until breakfast.

**XxX**

Soon enough a buzzer signaled the start of breakfast and Luhan jumped up and practically dragged Sehun through one of the doors in the common room and down another long corridor, also filled with doors, into a large white room filled with tables and chairs.

"I sit here, you can join me" Luhan said as he pointed to a small table at the far right off the dining room. Sehun smiled and nodded as the two headed over to a queue that was already forming. Meals always lasted a few hours to be able to feed all the inmates, there were no designated shifts but eventually everyone found a slot where they fitted in and stuck to it. Everyone had their own tables, however Minseok and his group of friends stayed in the dining room for the entire duration of the time to make sure nobody tried to steal their beloved back table which was out the way of everyone else. Sehun and Luhan eventually got their breakfast and headed back to their table, however, as they were deep in conversation Sehun didn't see who he was approaching and walked straight into Minseok, the blue haired freaky gay who tried to hit on him yesterday, and caused him to spill all of his breakfast on the floor. Sehun nearly shit himself, he didn't expect to be walking into everyone and he certainly didn't expect to make someone spill their eggs on his second day of prison.

"you'll pay for this" Minseok growled as he walked back to his table trying to get spilled eggs off of his jumpsuit.

"What the hell happened?" Luhan shouted, rushing over and walking with Sehun back to the table,

"I don't know he just appeared, I kinda spilled his eggs though" Sehun said and laughed slightly to himself,

"pay back for yesterday" Luhan said and shrugged.

Minseok sat back down and glared at the wall as Chanyeol was almost pissing himself from laughter, being the only member of the group who saw what happened.

"That was priceless" Chayneol shouted, clapping his hands,

"shut up" Minseok said and rested his head on his hands. Kyungsoo walked over to Minseok and whispered something in his ear, "seriously? It's his first day"

"Second, but it'll teach him not to mess with us" Kyungsoo winked and walked away to talk to two other people.

"Hey chanyeol?" Jongdae asked,

"hm?" Chayneol said, after stopping clapping and regaining his breath.

"whats that?" Jongdae asked touching a scratch that was on Chanyeols arm, Baekhyun nodded in agreement to the question.

"didn't try to kill yourself did you?" Kyungsoo asked, gaining a slap off of Chanyeol. Little to the groups acknowledgment, Joonmyun was sat traumatized as last nights memories came flooding back.

_"Ahh" Chanyeol moaned loudly as Kyungsoo pounded into him, "dig your nails into me, yes! Hold me down Kyuungsooo" he moaned again. The bed squeaking along with a sexually frustrated and impatient Chanyeol,_

_"shut up" Kyungsoo hissed as his lover moaned in a way that set his abdomen on fire, "you'll wake him"_

_"he sleeps like a rock- ahhh- it'll be fine" Chanyeol hissed, rocking on Kyungsoo's dick pushing it further into his ass, "make me bleed" he called out, "force me to cum" Chanyeol shouted again, edging closer to his orgasm as one of Kyungsoo's hand gripped his wrist, his nails digging deep into the flesh, and another hand was tight around Chanyeols dick._

_"You'll cum when I tell you to cum" Kyungsoo hissed, removing a hand from Chanyeols wrist and grabbing his hair tight, pulling his head back to look at him, "and I say now" he hissed again as he pounded into Chanyeol harder and faster, forcing the other boy to start crashing through an orgasm. Chanyeol moaned loudly, it slowly getting more highpitched until all sound was lost and he came all over Kyungsoo's chest. "Now clean it up slut" Kyungsoo hissed once more._

_"Please stop" a small and shaky voice was heard in the darkness, the voice belonged to Joonmyun._

**XxX**

"I was in the mafia" Sehun said, breaking the silence that had formed between him and Luhan,

"pardon?" Luhan said almost choking on his beans,

"I was part of the Korean mafia"

"Seriously? That's badass, way more badass than me"

"I guess, what were you involved in?"

"a drug cartel" Luhan answered, "not a good one and I was thrown under the bus"

"Seriously? That's shitty"

"yeah but I guess I am as well, you see over there? The cute giggly one next to the one with the serious face but not too serious? Next to the one who looks really freaked out? That's Baekhyun, he worked with me and I might have turned him in because of shitty reasons. He hates me now"

"were you close?" Sehun asked, picking at his beans,

"really close, good friends to be honest. But it's fine, that group over there is bad news. There's Minseok, the guy who hit on you, he's in prison for murder, a lot of it. Even family and kids" Luhan said,

"kids? Seriously?"

"deadly, no pun intended. The one opposite is Chanyeol, everyone says he's a fury, but he's in here for armed robery, took down one of the biggest banks in Korea, then there's Kyungsoo who is the one with the death gaze, he's in here because he would torture people, really messed up guy. I feel bad for his partner, if he ever gets one. Then there's yixing who is dating Baekhyun and got put in for attempting to break Beakhyun out, they'd been dating since like 12 or something from what I can remember. Jondae and Jongin are kinda the same, really close friends, not sure if they're gay or not, and they were mercinaries, assassins. If you believe the rumours"

"assassins? For real?"

"yep! That entire group is bad news, have I left anyone off? Oh yeah, Joonmyun, I'm not sure why he's in here he doesn't talk to anyone or tell anyone anything, he's close with those guys though. Oh and over there are Tao and Yifan, they did things that are so bad we don't talk about it, just avoid them"

"I will but I guess it's nice, having a big group"

"well yeah, but not filled with murderes, come on"

"good point." Sehun said and stood up, "I'm done, are you?"

"yep" Luhan said as he emptied his tray into the bin and exited the dining room with Sehun on his tail.

**XxX**

After spending an hour in the common room another loud buzzer was heard throughout the building, "shower time" Luhan said, "follow me I know where you'll be at your safest" Sehun winced at the choice of words but followed Luhan through the corridors and into a large shower block, "you stay in this one it's filled with new people, the other's aren't allowed in here" he said, "i'll be down the hall i'll meet you back in the cell" and Luhan left.

Sehun looked around at the empty showers, he seemed to be one of the only new people or they just hadn't arrived. Sighing, he undressed from his jumpsuit and hung it on one of the many hangers, and stepped under the warm spray of the shower. It wasn't a bad shower, again this prison seemed a lot better than the living conditions he endured while at the mafia. It was equally as unfriendly though.

Soon enough two other men entered the showers, they looked familiar but Sehun couldn't put his finger on it. Not like it mattered they were minding their own business and he wanted to mind his own too. However, it kept coming back to him. He was sure he knew who they were, or had talked about them. But how would he be able to do that? He didn't know anyone in this prison. Sehun was very content just showering and leaving to go find Luhan, but it seemed that the two men that had entered the showers didn't have that on their mind.

The two moved closer to Sehun, trapping him between them both. Sehun tried moving away from them, obviously feeling uncomfortable but the two weren't having it. When one of them grabbed his wrist and swung him against the shower wall it knocked Sehun's brain into place and he realized who they were, Tao and Yifan. The two Luhan had warned him about. While Tao held his wrist Yifan started kissing over his collar bones, biting at the skin while Sehun squirmed. The fear had paralyzed him, these were two of the most powerful and scary people in this entire prison that Luhan couldn't even bring himself to say what they did. The warm water sprayed over the three of them. Sehun tried slipping away but Tao kept a firm grip on his wrist. Eventually the overwhelming fear sent Sehun into a fight or flight mode where he flicked his leg up kicking Yifan in the balls causing him to drop to the floor. Tao cursed, but Sehun didn't catch which curseword as his face connected with Tao's fist as Tao punched him and broke his nose. Blood started to run down Sehun's body as the grip was released and he dropped to the floor.

Instead of being left alone, Tao pushed him down further as Yifan composed himself. Tao forced a finger into Sehun's asshole, causing Sehun to cry out both in pain of his nose and his ass. Sehun felt tears well in his eyes as Yifan stood back up and kicked him in the head and pushed Tao off of him. Sehun's vision went fuzzy and he felt like he couldn't move as the two fought over who got to stick their dirty contaminated fingers inside of him. Unable to move, Sehun had no choice but to lie there as eventually Tao shoved his dick inside him, pounding. Sehun started to cry even more as Tao quickly filled his ass with his seed and got off of him allowing Yifan a turn. Sehun tried begging for them to stop as he lay helpless on the dirty and bloody floor of the bathroom but it only gained him another punch. Several seconds of agony and tears later Sehun got another kick to the face as Yifan emptied inside him. The pain in his chest was way worse than the pain in his head. Sehun's vision started to fade and he thought this was the end, he thought he was going to die alone on a bathroom floor. However, before he passed out he felt strong comforting arms wrap around his delicate and damaged body and lift him off the floor. 

* * *

 

**Thank you sm for reading !!**


	4. Little lamb astray

**Wanna start off by saying something real quick, i don't actually have a set ending for this fic yet so literally anything could happen, and i only have the first five chapters planned so expect not so many constant updates because i still need to take the time to plan other chapters and figure out the story so yeah!**

**warnings: mention of rape, violence, sexual assault**

* * *

 

Luhan was sat on his bed in his cell, the light was on and he was reading a book he had taken out of the library a while back. Suddenly he heard three knocks on the door and he knew, in an instant, who it was. Getting off the bed, Luhan opened his cell door and was greeted by Tao and Yifan. He stepped aside and let them into his room. 

"You have no idea the night we just had" Yifan said sitting on his friends bed, 

"I can most likely imagine it" Luhan said, pointing towards the empty bed next to him. 

"You should have been there, it was incredible. He's so tight and it's so cute when he struggles" Tao said and smirked,

"you buffoons I'm not going to go and blow my cover for one night, i'm making my way there slowly. He will trust me before I make my attack, it'll scare him that much more" Luhan said evilly,

"and if he agrees? And likes it?"

"He's homophobic, like that would ever happen. But if it did? He'd be my personal little sex slave, just to rub in Minseok's face" Luhan grinned again. 

"you're an evil bastard, Luhan, I love it" Tao said.

**XxX**

_"No, get away from me" Sehun cried out as Tao grabbed his wrists and held him in face_

_"Please, please get off me"_

_"No stop!"_

Sehun shot up out of his nightmare, drenched in sweat with tears rolling down his cheeks. His heart was pounding as last nights events surged through his memories. Sehun remembered Tao's face, and Yifan's face, but there was another face. Someone else was there too, but Sehun couldn't figure out who. He never saw their face, he'd already passed out. What did they do to his sleeping body? He was there with Tao and Yifan so surely he had the same intentions. All Sehun could remember was the strong muscly arms that took him god knows where to do god knows what. Strong muscly arms that he knew from somewhere. Strong muscly arms with a scar on the right elbow. Strong muscly arms with a scar on the right elbow with a small spot of blue on the hand. Blue on the hand. Blue dye. Minseok. It was Minseok who carried Sehun to god knows where to do god knows what. It was Minseok who tried hitting on him on his first day. It was Minseok. Dirty faggot bastard Minseok. 

Sehun was enraged. It was at this moment when Sehun noticed he was in a hospital, or something that looked like a hospital with the same boring walls and floors and the occasional fake plant like the rest of the prison. Sehun turned on the bed and came face to face with his reflection. His lip was swollen, he had a black eye and his nose was busted up pretty bad. He didn't even want to see what he looked like under all his clothes. Rage filled Sehun even more as he jumped off the hospital bed and stormed out the room and down another hallway. He didn't have a clue where he was going but he would find that damn common room one way or another, and he'd wait there until that blue haired bastard showed his face so he could smack him for what he did last night. Sehun didn't even know what time it was. He didn't care. 

Eventually Sehun reached the common room. His eyes darted around, trying to spot the blue mop from the crowd of people that were inside. Eventually he found who he was looking for and marched over, right up to the group that were sat on their usual sofa's listening to some crap on the radio. 

"Look who it is!" Chanyeol shouted, pointing at Sehun, 

"shut up he obviously has something on his mind" Kyungsoo said, smacking Chanyeol as he looked at Sehun's expression. Hatred filled his eyes and his face read nothing but pure black rage. "What did you do Minseok?" 

"Don't look at me I didn't do shit" Minseok started to say but Sehun walked over and punched him square in the face before he had a chance to finish. Sehun had a killer right hook and Minseok fell back against the sofa after his face was hit. 

"What the fuck was that for?!" He shouted, standing up and squaring up to Sehun who grinned in his face as he watched Minseok's jaw start to turn a very dark purple.

"That was for last night you dirty fuck" 

"Last night? I'm not the dirty fuck, I'm the one who brought you to the infirmary, I'm the one who saved you, if it wasn't for me you'd be dead on the bathroom floor you ungrateful little bastard" Minseok shouted, about five inches from Sehun's face. Minseok watched as the angry expression turned into nothing but guilt. 

"What?" Sehun stuttered,

"you heard me. I. Saved. You" Minseok repeated, his normal jokey tone turned cold and aggressive, he was clearly offended and hurt from Sehun's assumption. 

"I'm... I'm so sorry" Sehun stammered out, 

"Save it, get the fuck out of my face" Minseok whispered and sat back down. The rest of the group glared until Sehun turned and ran back out the room.

"Care to explain?" Yixing asked as Baekhyun settled on his lap,

"Do I have to?" Minseok asked, raising an eyebrow

"yes? What the hell was that all about?" Yixing said again. Minseok sighed and held his hands up in defeat,

"I was showering and went to shower in the newbies area, because y'know, less people less crowd. Bare in mind I forgot Sehun was even here, so I walked in-"

"so that's where you go at shower time" Jongin chirped in and earned a smack off Jongdae and a finger to the lips off of Joonmyun,

"anyway I walked in and I saw Sehun pinned down on the floor by Tao and Yifan. I almost screamed, I've been here a good few years and I've heard the stories about what they can do but watching it is traumatizing so I waited-"

"I bet he cried" Chanyeol interrupted so Kyungsoo pushed him off the sofa,

"as a matter of fact I did cry, you know why? Because being involved in that shit is fucking awful so shut up you animal dressing up as Zootopia loving piece of shit, anyway. So I waited, and fought back the urge to kill them both on the spot and after they were done I took Sehun to the hospital. That's it. That's what I did, nothing else nothing less"

"So he must have thought you...?" Joonmyun asked,

"well apparently so, god that pisses me off so much does that fuckwhit even know what I went through?"

"he's hanging around Luhan, he probably just thinks you killed a load of people" Beakyhun said and Minseok sighed. 

"I'm gonna go sit somewhere I'll see you guys later" Minseok said and walked off

**XxX**

Sehun ran all the way down the corridor and burst into his cell and instantly started crying hysterically. He was ashamed, he was guilty and it was killing him. If this happened again then he would die, he wouldn't have anyone who was willing to help him anymore, it was all his fault. Luhan, who was also in the room, had a close heartattack when Sehun burst in but instantly threw his book down and held Sehun's shoulders.

"Sehun, what's wrong?" He tried, "Sehun please talk to me" he tried again. Nothing was working. Sehun had worked himself up so much he was starting to enter into panic attack territory. Luhan grabbed him and pulled him to the bed and sat him down, "look at me Sehun, deep breaths okay? Copy me"

After successfully calming Sehun down, Luhan looked at him, "what's wrong? What happened?"

"Last night I-I was in the shower and Tao a-and Yifan came in and they-they r-rap-ped me and I-I thought Minseok d-did too but he didnt and I-I just punched him and n-now he hates me and-"

"calm down, take deep breaths it's okay. Minseok is shitty anyway okay? Just calm down alright" Luhan kept saying and Sehun nodded, tears rolling down his face. He'd been broken before but never this bad. "Here, take this card and go spend some time in the library, it's quiet and it'll let you calm down" Luhan said and handed Sehun his library card. Sehun nodded, he was glad he had Luhan. It seemed at this point Luhan was the only friend Sehun had.

Sehun took the library card and dried his eyes before walking out. Sehun found the library with ease and sat himself down in a corner and hugged his legs. He was terrified. He was terrified of Tao and Yifan, and terrified of Minseok. He was terrified of dying and being attacked again and terrified of existing in this point. Sehun jumped when someone pulled a book out of the shelf next to him and internally scolded himself at being so weak. He survived a grenade, he was in the god damn fucking Korean Mafia, why is he being so wussy over some men. He was stronger than they were, right? He was at least smarter. He was able to survive in situations they would instantly die in. He could also shoot a gun, but he didn't have a gun. He didn't have any protection anymore. Not since he punched his protection in the face. 

Sehun's heart sank when the door opened and two familiar voices were heard from the front of the library. Tao's and Yifans. Did they find him? Did they follow him? Did Minseok get angry and tell them he was there? His thoughts were interrupted by Tao and Yifan finding him. Tao laughed and pointed and made a sly remark to Yifan who grabbed him and pinned him up against the library wall. No no not again. Not again. Sehun braced himself for a punch that was most likely going to follow, but no punch came. Sehun opened his eyes that he didn't even realize he had closed and instead saw Yifan looking over at Tao in shock, Tao was being punched and kicked and pinned against the wall by the same hooded man that scared him earlier. Who was this man? Why was he saving him? Hope reentered Sehun's heart when Yifan dropped him and ran off. He didn't need Minseok, he had this man, whoever he was. 

The man turned around, but Sehun couldn't see his face. It was when he spoke did he know. 

"A lamb shouldn't wander too far from the flock" said the man, in that same cold voice. In Minseok's cold voice. 

* * *

 

**Thanks for reading! I know it's short, sorry about that, but I knew I needed to update for you guys!**


	5. Betrayal

It had been a week since Sehun arrived at Prison. It had been a week since Sehun met Minseok. It had been a week since Sehun was raped. It had been a week since Minseok saved him. It had been a week since Sehun punched Minseok. It had been a week since Minseok saved him again. And again. And again.

A lot had happened in that week. A crazy drama filled week. A week filled with Minseok. One of the more important things that happened was Sehun realized just how much Minseok pissed him off. He always seemed to be there trying to be the savior, but did Sehun want him there? Of course not. Minseok wanted all the glory to himself, he wasn't letting Sehun show his true colours. Maybe that was why. Maybe Minseok knew about him and was threatened. That had to be it, the punch was like a badge to Minseok, he was punched by the greatest member of the Korean Mafia. 

Sehun turned on his side, it was around half 1 in the morning but he couldn't sleep. His thoughts weren't turning off and Luhan was snoring pretty loud which didn't help. Sehun sighed, he wasn't going to get to sleep at this rate and needed to do something about it. Ignoring his thoughts weren't going to get him anywhere, so he embraced them. 

Sehun hated Minseok, he hated him with a burning passion. Everything he saw him he would get more riled up, and what made it worse was his dirty smug smile. Everytime Minseok spotted him he would grin at Sehun, and Sehun hated it. Minseok knew, it was his humor. There was something about Minseok that drew Sehun to him. When Sehun would enter the common room he would look specifically for the blue haired boy just so he could make a sly remark to Luhan. He didn't know why. Sehun needed to see him during the day or he would get irritable, fear maybe? Sehun has seen Minseok fight and it was brutal, but he was better so why would he be getting so worked up? He needed to talk some sense into himself, he was a million times stronger than Minseok, he was better looking than Minseok, and he wasn't gay like Minseok. Simply, he was better. 

Luhan stirred, taking Sehun out of his thoughts. His friend, he'd recently learned, was a light sleeper and the slightest movement could wake him. Sehun had learned this the hard way when he sneezed and woke Luhan up. It was a bit of a nightmare trying to be so quiet all the time but it's what he had to do. Sehun squeezed his eyes shut when he heard Luhan's bed squeak. Shit. He had woken him up. Sehun made sure to stay as still as he could so that Luhan would settle down and let him continue his thoughts. This, however, didn't happen.

Luhan paced around the room for a bit, mumbling things to himself before he walked over to the side of Sehun's bed. At this point Sehun thought he was going to be awoken and scolded for waking him up but that's not what happened. Instead Luhan sat down on the bed, Sehun could feel his weight next to his feet. Luhan rested a hand on his shoulder and dragged it across his back. Sehun was frozen in fear, he didn't know what was going to happen and he didn't know how he would get out of it. He could wake up? No because then Luhan would know it was him who woke him, and Luhan can get scary when tired. 

Luhan rubbed his hand over Sehun's shoulder and back for a bit longer before moving it to his arms and hand. Luhan was gentle, making sure not to wake Sehun, but Sehun felt every touch in a painful way. Sehun felt the panic start to enter his stomach, but he had to stay calm. There was a much worse situation ahead of him if he rejected whatever Luhan was doing. Luhan leaned over to Sehun and planted a kiss on his cheek, he then did the same on his forehead and then his nose. He moved his hand back up to rest behind Sehun's head. 

"One day you'll be mine" Luhan muttered and kissed him once more before heading back into his own bed and falling asleep.

Sehun sat up, the sweat was running down his forehead and his heart was beating way faster than it was meant to. Sehun couldn't breathe properly, not in this room anymore. Nowhere was safe for Sehun. As the panic rose in him faster he decided he wasn't going to stay in this room any longer, and got up and crept out the room. It was late so there were no guard patrols. There would be stationed guards but only in specific areas. 

Sehun wandered down the long corridor trying to clear his head. He didn't know what just happened but apparently he wasn't even safe from his only friend. Sehun sighed and sat down in the hallway. Eventually a door in front of him opened and Sehun almost jumped, once more when he saw Minseok standing in front of it. 

Minseok looked at Sehun and Sehun looked back at Minseok. Suddenly Sehun remembered what he had been thinking about earlier, he remembered how much better than Minseok he was and how he should show it.

"What are you looking at?!" Sehun whispered in a hushed but angry voice,

"what am I looking at? What are you doing camping outside my bedroom door?"

"I'm not! I just went for a walk, but either way who cares you shouldn't speak to me that way"

"Oh? And why not?"

"Don't you know who I am? I'm the youngest of the Korean mafia!"

"No I don't know who you are, and I couldn't care less. You're just another whiny baby with a big past who came in here thinking he could rule the place, well guess what princess? This isn't your place to rule, and if I wasn't there for you all these times you'd be leaving this place in a body bag. So think next time about who you're talking to and realize that nobody in here gives a shit who you once were, we know who you are now and you aint shit. So go relive your glory days away from my door" Minseok spat and closed the door. 

He doesn't know who I am? Sehun thought to himself, does really nobody know who I am? Realization hit him like a punch in the gut. Sehun knew without his reputation he was just another guy, and just another guy isn't threatening enough to survive. 

**XxX**

The next day Sehun avoided Luhan at all costs. He skipped breakfast and spent the whole day in the library alone. He had picked a new spot and was sat replaying everything that had happened in his mind. He felt betrayed, he felt as if he didn't have anyone in the whole prison he could talk to. Minseok probably hated him and the words he said last night were a constant thorn in Sehun's side. 

Why did Luhan kiss him? Was this all he wanted from the begining? Was Luhan gay? Hell who wasn't gay in this place, Sehun had just been too blind to notice. Sehun sighed, even in the mafia he had people to talk to and he didn't feel the best right now given the circumstances. He was tired and upset and just felt dirty.

Eventually someone stood in front of Sehun and cleared their throat, Sehun looked up and found himself cursing every god out there to ever exist. It was one of Minseok's friends, Yixing Sehun thinks, stood in front of him with a glare that could kill. 

"You're in our spot" Yixing hissed,

"our?" Sehun stammered out, just as he said this another boy showed his face from around the corner. Sehun couldn't remember his name. The boy walked over and linked his arm around Yixing, great another damn gay. The boy looked at Sehun, and seemed to be studying him. Sehun looked back at the boy, clearly uncomfortable with his breach of privacy. The boy walked closer and sat on the floor next to Sehun, who instantly tried to move away.

"What did he do?" The boy started,

"Baekhyun" Yixing started, reminding Sehun of his name,

"no, what did he do?" Baekhyun pressed again, moving closer to Sehun until they were about an inch apart.

"W-what did who do?" Sehun stuttered,

"What did Luhan do? I know that expression like the back of my hand, what did he do?"

"He didn't do anything just leave me alone!"

"yes he did, he did something to you. You were pacing last night, Minseok saw you. You had something on your mind. That something is Luhan, what did he do?"

"How did you.." Sehun started but trailed off,

"How did I know Luhan did something? Because he's a sick bastard, did he tell you what he's in for?"

"Drugs?" Sehun mumbled,

"No, that was me and only me. Well, yixing too but not Luhan" Baekhyun said,

"come on Baek let's go we don't have time for this" Yixing said again,

"then you go I'll catch up later" Baekhyun said as Yixing sighed and walked off.

"Luhan is in for rape, I got him done for sexual assault and multiple people flagged up saying the same. He then named me and Yixing for drugs but that's another story" Baekhyun said. There was something calm about Baekhyun, maybe it was the way he was close but kept his distance. The way he made sure not to touch Sehun in the slightest, not even accidentally. The way his eyes looked, as if he cared. 

"Why do you care what Luhan did to me?" Sehun mumbled again,

"because chances are he did the same to me. Did he touch you? Not sexual but touch you? Did he kiss you? Did he promise himself to you?" 

Sehun was shocked, he couldn't answer. Baekhyun had gotten it right on target. Could it be he was being tricked the whole time? That Luhan was the bad guy? No of course not, he couldn't really be a rapist right?

"Thought so" Baekhyun said. "Listen, stay out of his way alright? He's dangerous, and he's friends with Tao and Yifan, thought you should know. I'll come and check on you later but I need to do something" Baekhyun said and gave a small smile before standing up and walking off.

There was something weird about him. Something weird that Sehun liked. Maybe he wouldn't mind talking to Baekhyun from time to time. But not Minseok. He hated Minseok. He had to hate Minseok. 

**XxX**

Baekhyun ran out of the library and down to the big doors that lead into the yard, he sprinted half across the acre field until he saw his friendship group, minus Yixing who was probably waiting in a broom cupboard somewhere for their daily alone time. 

"MINSEOK" Beakhyun shouted as he ran into the back of his friend.

"Woah jesus I thought Yixing and you went to fuck?" Chanyeol shouted, shitting himself from the impact as he was stood weirdly close to Minseok.

"I agree with Chanyeol, what happened?"

"It's Luhan" Baekhyun panted, clearly out of breath

"What's the bastard done now?" Jongin asked cracking his knuckles,

"don't you even try you can't fight for shit" Jongdae responded and pushed him gently,

"What happened?" Minseok repeated, looking into Baekhyuns eyes. 

"Luhan did it again, what he did with me"

"Seriously? To who? The poor fucking bastard" Minseok cursed and looked over to Kyungsoo who shrugged,

"I can't tell you that" Baekhyun replied quietly. He wanted to keep Sehun's identity a secret. Baekhyun could tell there was something going on, something going on in Minseok's head. Baekhyun knew what Minseok was secretly like, how easily he fell in love and how quickly that destroyed him. A few years ago he had fallen in love with a straight boy and Minseok got rejected and took it really badly. Despite a sneaking suspicion that Sehun was far from straight, Baekhyun didn't want to risk it. He couldn't. Not his friend.

"But please, just do something to stop it happening again"

"I will" Minseok said, knowing fine well he wouldn't be able to hold himself back this time, but who cared. That bastard deserved to die.

* * *

 

**Thanks for reading!:3**


	6. Payback

**I haven't updated in a few days due to being busy and just not finding the time or inspiration to write more chapter plans. I will say that I am hoping to have a long story and won't be happy with myself unless I write at least 50 chapter plans. So far there's only 10 in total but until I get a definite plan I won't be updating the story to say how many chapters.**

**Enjoy this one though!**

**Chapter warnings: extreme violence, sexual assault, swearing**

* * *

 

Sehun looked around the library. Baekhyun had been gone for half an hour and there was no sign if return. Had Sehun been stupid trusting him? After all Baekhyun was apart of Minseok's little gang. Luhan had taught him they were bad, but then again Luhan had taught him he was safe. Luhan was defiantly not safe. Sehun grabbed at the skin on his arm, he picked and pulled at it. The pain brought him back down to reality, it made him calm. Sehun liked the pain, it allowed him to remember his place, allowed him to stay in control. It was his own pain, he controlled it and he inflicted it. He had control. He always had control. 

Baekhyun rushed back to the library to find Sehun pacing the shelves. Sehun spun around to see him and instantly let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. 

"Hey" Baekhyun said, panting slightly from running but smiling,

"Hey" Sehun said quietly, slinking down onto his position on the floor. Baekhyun sighed and sat down next to him, making sure to keep his distance and to not accidentally touch him.  "I didn't think you'd come back" Sehun admitted,

"How come?" Baekhyun asked gently, Sehun shrugged,

"I kinda... I don't know... I don't really have the best..." Sehun trailed off,

"Impression of our group?" Baekhyun presumed, Sehun nodded. Baekhyun let out a small chuckle, "that's because you've been hanging around with Luhan for weeks on end, of course you're gonna have a weird vision of everything" Sehun nodded and looked down, ashamed. 

"Listen, it's not your fault okay?" Baekhyun reassured him, "Luhan hates us, he hates me and he hates Minseok a lot more. If anything, he only tried it on you to get back at Minseok" Baekhyun said,

"Why does he hate Minseok?" Sehun mumbled. 

_"Baek.." Luhan whined, playing with his friends hair,_

_"what?" Baek asked, slightly frustrated with his clingy friend._

_"Y'know... Yixings a pretty shitty person.." Luhan mumbled,_

_"Yixing is my boyfriend, Luhan, and I love and trust him"_

_"Why... When you can have..." Luhan whispered as he quickly flipped Baek over and pinned him to his bed, "me"_

_"Ha-Ha Luhan very funny, get off me"_

_"Why?" Luhan whispered as he leaned down and licked Baek's exposed collar bone,_

_"Seriously Luhan get off of me!" Baek called out but his pleads were ignored. Luckily, Yixing had gotten back from a recent drug trade and walked into the room just in time._

_"Hey Baek we should go out for dinner, Thai sound good?" He asked as he looked up, "What the fuck?! Luhan you bastard" Yixing shouted as he ran across the room and grabbed Luhan by his hair, pulling him off Baek and punching him in the face. "Never. Touch. My. Boyfriend. Again" Yixing shouted and spat in his face._

_Luhan grinned as Yixing pushed him away. He wouldn't give up that easily._

**_XxX_ **

_"All in favor? I claim Luhan, guilty" the judge called and banged their hammer, Yixing squeezed Baekhyuns arm. They'd finally brought him to court after Luhan stalked him for weeks. Baekhyun was relieved._

_"I have one last thing to say" Luhan piped up and the judge nodded,_

_"Both the accusers are part of a world infamous drug trade operation"  Luhan spoke before the guards came and took him away. The judge flipped through some papers before ordering the guards to seize them both too._

**_XxX_ **

_Baekhyun looked around the large prison, it was pretty ugly in his opinion. Yixing was next to him, they both were completely out of their comfort zone. As they walked around they were eyed up by almost everyone. Yixing placed his arm around Baekhyuns shoulders and a lot of the men started to look away. Few remained staring, but Yixing had an icy glare that made them instantly turn away._

_Baekhyun noticed a group in the back corner, there weren't a lot of people there but one was recognizable. One had bright blue hair and a stone cold gaze. Baekhyun easily put two and two together, they were most likely a gang. A gang to be feared at that. Yixing locked eyes with the blue haired man and soon enough there was a stare off. Baekhyun, being in the middle, felt like he was part of a western cowboy movie. He felt like any moment they would draw their guns and start to fight. They didn't. No guns were drawn and no fighting happened. Everyone seemed to be staring, eventually Baekhyun stopped. He didn't want to see what would happen and instead turned away. However, he made a bad mistake. Baekhyun spotted Luhan standing in the hall, watching him. Baek turned back away, scared, and grabbed Yixings hand. When Baek looked back up from the ground the blue haired man was coming over._

_Great, Baek thought to himself. This was all he needed. Once the man came over he smiled, which was different to what Baek was expecting. He was expecting violence and if anything death._

_"I'm Minseok, nice to meet you" the blue haired man said, holding out his hand,_

_"Yixing, this is Baekhyun, my boyfriend" Yixing said and shook his hand._

_"How did you do that? Have you been to prison before?" Baekhyun hissed as Minseok beckoned them over to their sofa's. Yixing shook his head,_

_"I wing a lot of things" Yixing whispered._

_"This is Kyungsoo, and Jongin" Minseok said and pointed to each of them. Yixing greeted them as Baekhyun kept spinning his head around._

_"Are you okay?" Minseok asked, tapping him on the shoulder, Yixing turned to look at him._

_"Luhan... He's here" Baekhyun muttered out,_

_"Luhan?" Minseok asked,_

_"He assaulted him, sexually, he's practically a rapist" Yixing hissed out. Minseok cracked his fingers and brought Baek over to the chairs and sat him down._

_"Don't worry, Baekhyun is it? You've chosen your family, you'll be safe now."_

Sehun listened to Baekhyun's story with big eyes, it was upsetting knowing that Luhan was a convicted sex offender or something like that, and it was also upsetting knowing that someone who was so painfully as sweet as Baekhyun got the brunt of it. Baekhyun had one of those faces, one of those personalities, that wouldn't do harm to anyone. It didn't surprise Sehun knowing that Baekhyun was in drug trade, it was a criminal organization that only got messy when it needed to. Looking at Yixing, Baekhyun never had to get messy.

"I'm going to take some time to think" Sehun says and gets up leaving Baekhyun alone in the library.

**XxX**

"We have to find him, before he tries any more shit" Minseok growled,

"No, we have to wait. And we will wait" Kyungsoo ordered and grabbed Minseok's shoulders, forcing him to look in his eyes. "At this rate you'll hurt more than just Luhan, you need to calm down" 

Minseok sighed and nodded. The group walk off back into the building and soon enough walk into Yixing, who looked confused. 

"Where are you going?" Jongin asked gently, Yixing shrugged,

"I've lost Baek so common room probably" Yixing said before walking off. 

As Yixing made his way down the hall a hand grabbed him and pulled him into a supply closet.

"Baek?! Where have you been?" Yixing whispered,

"Taking care of business. Luhan's done it again, but not to me, to Sehun"

"the kid in the library?"

"Yes, but that doesn't matter. Luhan shouldn't be allowed to walk free here. He's gone to the common room, but we can't let Minseok know it's Sehun"

"Why not?"

"Because he won't care anymore, Minseok's been really pissed at him recently" Baek whispered, "come on we have to find Sehun before Luhan does" Baek said and pulled his boyfriend out the closet. The two ran down the hallway and into the common room. 

Minseok was sat in their normal space fighting with Chanyeol over the radio, Jongin and Jongdae were sat on the floor nearby chanting something, Kyungsoo was cursing at Chanyeol and Joonmyun didn't seem to care. Sehun was sat over by the TV and Luhan wasn't anywhere to be seen. They were right on time. 

Yixing and Baekyun went to join the others and sat down in a space between Minseok and Chanyeol. Yixing grabbed the radio off both of them and handed it to Kyungsoo who put on a random channel and placed it on the table. Minseok and Chanyeol continued to flash each other hand signs and the middle finger while Baekhyun scanned the area.

Soon enough Luhan entered the room and made a beeline for Sehun. Luhan bent over and whispered something to Sehun,

"Fuck" Baekhyun cursed, grabbing everyone's attention. Minseok spots Luhan with Sehun. At first he doesn't get why Baekhyun swore, they hadn't discussed when they were going to get the drop on him. It was when Sehun tried to swat Luhan away did Minseok finally put two and two together. 

"That mother fucker" Minseok swore loudly and jumped up from his seat. He stormed over, pushing someone over in the process, overrun with rage. Luhan looked up just in time as Minseok punched him in the face causing him to fly back away from Sehun. Baekhyun rushed over and pulled Sehun out of the way and over to the sofa's and held him tightly, which was the first physical contact they had had. 

Jongin and Jondae both ran over at the same time and tag teamed Luhan who had tried sitting up. As he attempted to look up through his blurred vision Jongin kicked him in the head as Jongdae stamped on his ribs. Kyungsoo sighed and decided it was too late to defuse the situation as he sauntered over from where Jongin and Jongdae were kicking Luhan, and picked him up and slammed him against the wall twice, making sure his skull connected with it. Luhan used all his strength to reach out and kick Kyungsoo in the stomach, Kyungsoo dropped him and a loud crack was heard,

"That was a rib!" Jongdae called out,

"You fucker!" Chaneyol called and ran over and kicked Luhan in the head from where he was sat against the wall, blood pouring out his nose and lip. 

Over on the sofa's Baekhyun held Sehun tightly against his chest as Sehun cried heavily. Sehun would never speak the words Luhan whispered to him, not to anyone. Sehun didn't even care who he was clinging to, he didn't care it was Baekhyun and he didn't care it was a guy, he needed someone, anyone. Baekhyun watched the group fighting and kicking the shit out of Luhan. Even Joonmyun had joined in eventually. Baekhyun cradled Sehun, he knew he had to be there for him even if he would be angry later. It was this moment that mattered, and Luhan had said something that had deeply unsettled Sehun's usual calm but shy composure. Baekhyun knew he couldn't get angry, Luhan was getting everything that he deserved right in that moment. 

"That was his arm!" Jongin called out after a sharp snap was heard throughout the common room. Baekhyun watched his friends. They were all usually so sweet, but that's not the case. They're in a prison. He should have been up there with them, but he'd never been a fighter. But even then all fighters needed a break. Baekhyun looked down at Sehun who's head was in his lap, face in his stomach, and his whole body curled around him crying his eyes out. Baekhyun knew who Sehun was, and it was true that none of that would help him in here, Baekhyun still admired him for it. He'd heard about the rumors and rules of the Korean mafia, he was surprised Sehun had survived it. 

Joonmyun dragged Luhan across the floor, blood was everywhere. It was pouring out of Luhan and he was making such a mess. Minseok grabbed Luhan off of Joonmyun and spat in his face,

"Open your fucking eyes you cunt" Minseok swore,

"Now listen here and listen good, you touch fucking any, and I mean ANY, of my fucking friends again, and it'll be one fucking trip to hell you go on" He shouted and slammed him against the wall with all his might. He heard a giant bang from Luhan's head off of the concrete wall and he watched as Luhan lost consciousness. Minseok dropped his body to the floor and held up his hands as the guards started to rush in. 

* * *

 

**Thanks for reading!!**

 

 


	7. We are who we are

**Chapter warnings: violence, insinuated smut (one line but worth the warning)**

* * *

 

_"Now listen here and listen good, you touch fucking any, and I mean ANY, of my fucking friends again, and it'll be one fucking trip to hell you go on" He shouted and slammed him against the wall with all his might. He heard a giant bang from Luhan's head off of the concrete wall and he watched as Luhan lost consciousness. Minseok dropped his body to the floor and held up his hands as the guards started to rush in._

It was all sound to Sehun. He had his eyes clenched shut the whole time during the fight but that doesn't mean he won't remember the noises of Luhan's bones breaking under the force. It doesn't mean he'll forget what Luhan said to him.

Minseok looked at the guards who had rushed through the door after one of the younger prisoners ran to get them. One of the guards looked at Minseok in a way that seemed more disappointed than mad. 

"Come on" a guard said to him and sighed, Minseok shrugged and followed the guard out of the room. Sehun had looked up to see this. He was confused, very confused. Sehun wasn't knew to seeing people arrested or seeing people getting taken into solitary while inside the prison already. The guards were a lot softer with Minseok, they didn't even touch him they just looked at him and he followed. It was abnormal to Sehun. 

Another group of guards walked over and cleared the area. The rest of Minseok's group walked back over to the sofa's while the guards picked up Luhan's unconscious body and took him away. 

"God I hope he's dead" Chanyeol muttered, "dirty bastard.." Chanyeol trailed off when he noticed Sehun still wrapped around Baekhyuns body. Sehun had stopped crying but his red cheeks and puffy eyes did nothing to hide it. "So you're Sehun?" Chanyeol asked, his voice was a lot quieter and wasn't as harsh as before. He sat down next to Baekhyun, "I'm Chanyeol" he said, introducing himself. Sehun didn't answer and looked away.

"Sehun thinks the majority of us are freaks, it's what Luhan told him. He knows the truth about me but it's not my place to tell your stories" Baekhyun said as Yixing sat down next to him and placed his hand on his leg, making sure not to touch Sehun's head. Sehun looked up at Yixing and removed his head from Baekhyuns lap, 

"Sorry" he muttered, feeling uncomfortable knowing they were together but more threatened because he knew, from the sound effects, Yixing can hit hard. 

"Don't worry about it, he's a pillow" Yixing said and turning to look at the rest of them. "Reminds me of those old group sessions they had, y'know the ones where they get us to talk about our feelings as if to make us less likely to do the same shit again?" Yixing said and Joonmyun laughed,

"They were the worst, rumors are going around that they're starting up again"

"Oh really? Well just kill me now" Yixing said and laughed along with Joonmyun. 

Baekhyun cleared his throat and everyone turned to look at him, "Sehun you deserve to meet the real us, Chanyeol you can do first"

Chanyeol sighed and made a face at Baekhyun, "I'm Chanyeol, and I was a con artist, and a damn good one" 

_Chanyeol smiled and petted the dog below him, "you little buddy are gonna make us rich" he said and grinned,_

_"I still feel bad, it's such a cute one" Dae said looking at the dog with sad eyes,_

_"I'll buy you a dog with the money, a real dog, a dog you can keep y'know?" Chanyeol said looking at his childhood friend with big eyes, "think how many dogs you can buy with this money"_

_"You have a point... Are you sure it'll work?"_

_"Of course, Dae, this is my signature move" Chanyeol said grinning. His friend Dae-Hyon wasn't his first partner, it was his third. Chanyeol had been part of a three man group and they were some of the best con artists Korea had seen. It was upsetting for Chanyeol when his two friends had been caught, but when he ran into a childhood friend who had been doing one of the same tricks he liked he knew he'd found a new partner. "Come on" Chanyeol said handing Dae the dog, "go do your magic"_

_Dae sighed and walked into the bar with the dog at his legs. He made a beeline straight for the bar owner and cleared his throat at the table he was sat at. "Excuse me sir, I'm going to run to the bathroom do you mind watching my dog for me?" He asked nicely,_

_"Not at all" the owner said and took the lead off of Dae and continued reading the paper and drinking his whiskey. Dae left to go into the bathroom and soon enough Chanyeol entered the bar. Chanyeol walked around for a bit before heading to the bar and ordering a drink. Eventually Chanyeol spots the owner with the dog and makes a gasp loud enough for the owner to hear him. Chanyeol rushed over to the man,_

_"Excuse me, sorry, but I'm an expert dog breeder and I couldn't help but notice your dog, she's gorgeous and a pure breed, one that is quite rare these days. A dog like that could go for at least 2000000.00 wen, I'd like to buy her off you" Chanyeol says studying the animal._

_Overrun with greed the owner says, "yes yes! She's not mine but I will buy her off the original owner and sell to you!"_

_Chanyeol smiled, "great! I'll be back in an hour!" he said and left the bar._

_After hearing Chanyeol leave Dae counted to 100 before leaving the bathroom and thanking the man for holding his dog._

_"How much for the dog!" He shouted,_

_"excuse me?"_

_"How much! Here is 100000 for the dog!"_

_Dae frowned at the price, "double it and you have a deal"_

_The owner looked at him before nodding and handing him the cash. Dae shrugged and left the bar._

_"That was amazing!" Chanyeol shouted as he counted the cash, "we're eating good tonight" He said and grinned._

"How did you get caught?" Sehun asked, sitting up with his legs to his chest listening closely to Chanyeol's story,

"Turns out the bar owner knew who we were and had camera's, Dae got away but I'm here now" he said and shrugged. 

Baekhyun turned to look at Kyungsoo who was leaning against the wall,

"come on Kyungsoo, your turn" 

Kyungsoo sighed and nodded, "I'm Kyungsoo, I used to run an illegal fighting ring and was practically a millionaire, let's also bring in the fact that I had quite the following on the black market. Got to distribute the dead ones somehow"

_Kyungsoo walked into the dark room. The stench of blood and rusted metal filled his nose as he walked deeper. Eventually Kyungsoo reached a light switch and flicked it on. Bright piercing lights flooded the room, there were a lot of seats and a old broken boxer ring in the center. Kyungsoo smiled, it was almost money making time._

_He walked over to a body guard who had followed him in and whispered something to him before walking back off and entering a small office. The guard went over to the back door and opened it. Outside was a giant crowd of people of all different appearances. Some were hardcore emo kids trying to show how hardcore they were, some were bikers and others were just normal, obviously trying to hide their interests from society. Two men entered through another door. They were big and burly, covered in tattoos and scars and bruises. They were tonight's competitors._

_The guard started letting people in, one at a time. People would pay big money to watch one of these fights. No rules, no nothing. It was a fight to the death. Some of the most brutal men fought in Kyungsoo's ring. It was something of a point to make to themselves and everyone watching. They needed to feel victorious. Kyungsoo prayed off of this insecurity the fighters held, people would pay more to get closer and even more if they thought there was a chance of death. Sick people. Not as sick as the man than run it though._

_It was an expensive place to be and Kyungsoo loved it. He loved looking down on all the stupid people willing to pay to watch such a violent and illegal sport. Kyungsoo didn't care. They paid to see fights more gory than anything they would see in a professional arena, and they paid to be protected. Protected from police or anyone who was a snitch. Kyungsoo was smart, he made sure there was no chance of being found out. He knew how to remove the bodies and he knew how to cover his tracks. He was rolling in money and still had the brains to protect himself and his fans._

_Once everyone was inside and settled they paid for their seat on an online app Kyungsoo had directly made himself with enough encryption that even the FBI wouldn't be able to track it. If someone couldn't pay they'd be thrown out. Once all the money had been given the match would start. There would be blood and sweat everywhere, the sound of people cheering on would fill the rooms. People would make bets and Kyungsoo would get the money._

_After the fight someone was usually dead, and if they weren't they would get called a pussy for the rest of their lives. Kyungsoo knew how to go from there. He would close up and remove the body parts for shipping. He always had a demand off of his black market following. His personal body guards would transport the goods to their respectful owner, receive the pay and bring it back to Kyungsoo. He paid his staff very well, they were almost glad to stay under his command._

_Kyungsoo was certain he was set for old age, however, that's not how it played out. One of his newer guards were sent out on a distribution task and got tailed by some detective's who'd been tracking Kyungsoo since he started. Eventually Kyungsoo was pulled out of his penthouse apartment and thrown into prison. Luckily, he still knew he had the money hidden for when he got out._

"Woah... That's intense" Chanyeol said, never bothering to listen to Kyungsoo's story for the few years he'd been at the prison. Baekhyun nodded and turned to Jongin and Jongdae, 

"you guys have the same story, it's your turn"

"I'm Jongin and this is Jongdae, we're thieves" Jongin said,

_Jongin looked at his boyfriend, they were both dressed from head to toe in black. They had masks covering most of their face and tools any assassin or thief would kill to have._

_"This is going to be the biggest heist of our lives" Jongin said, looking up at the four story mansion, Jongdae nodded and reached to grab his grappling hook. Jongdae shot the hook up the four story house to where it latched onto a balcony on the third floor. Jondae turned to look at Jongin and winked before using the hook to climb up the side of the house up to the balcony._

_Jongdae reached into his bag and pulled out a rope to where he dropped it down to Jongin and pulled him up. "You've gained weight" Jongdae mutters,_

_"more to hold" Jongin said and smirked behind his mask._

_"You bet your sweet little ass I'm fucking you into the floor when we get back home" Jongdae whispered as he opened the window and slid through followed by Jongin._

_The two looked around the large bedroom they'd found themselves in. Instantly they started looting the room. Jongdae found diamond jewellery while Jongin found expensive artifacts from god knows when. Once they grabbed everything they wanted they headed through the house._

_Jongin and Jongdae had been thieves since they had a bad upbringing and got kicked out of their house at 11. They knew all the tricks and had never been caught. The two were inseparable and incredibly cocky when near each other. It was almost a luck thing, they'd gotten through their tough childhood with each other and it soon turned into a ritual. They would never leave the others side during a raid or during anything. They were petrified something bad would happen if the other left. They were all they had._

_That faithful night Jongin broke the pact. He went off into another bathroom leaving Jongdae in the corridor. This was strike one. Oblivious to Jongin vanishing Jongdae continued through the house, going into different rooms and then leaving them. That was strike two. Jongin soon realized Jongdae hadn't followed him into the bathroom and knocked over a vase in panic. That was strike three. You've heard the common phrase, three strikes and you're out._

_The sound of the vase breaking alerted an elderly couple downstairs and the police were called instantly. Jongdae managed to escape leaving Jongin lost, confused and scared. When the police arrived they found Jongin, but not Jongdae. Jongdae had no choice but to hide when he was waiting in the back garden for his lover. He had no choice but to turn himself in when he saw the police pulling Jongin out the house. He had no choice but to accept their consequences, people do crazy things for love._

"That was weirdly sweet... I guess... Given you're gay" Sehun admitted before turning to look at the last person who hadn't given their backstory. 

Joonmyun sighed, "I'm Joonmyun and I'm a hacker" 

_Joonmyun spent a lot of his life hunched over a computer staring at script. He was very good at what he did but it was tiring. There was nothing to aim for. He had the money he needed, he ruined companies that he didn't believe in, and had an internet personality._

_But he wanted more._

_Joonmyun wasn't sure what he lusted over but it wasn't this. It wasn't the same old code and the same old security measures. Sure it was fun being able to pay to bills but there must have been more to life than this._

_It was at this point when he decided he was going to get out more. He was going to do something with his gift. Joonmyun eventually found a criminal organisation. They were filled with assassins. Joonmyun didn't fancy murdering anyone, but he figured the extra line of protection would be worth it. Joonmyun was eventually hired as their technician. He helped out in assassinations by removing all proof of it. In a way, it was one of the most dangerous jobs he could have picked._

_He'll take credit for that stupid decision._

_He was the reason they didn't get caught. He held all the evidence and as no matter how skilled he was, he was replaceable. They could always find another hacker, another tech guy who was willing to put his freedom on the line for a change of scenery._

_That's exactly what happened._

_Eventually an assassin went wrong and Joonmyun had the blame when they couldn't find the original assassins. It was something he knew from the start, but hey, at least it would be a change of scenery._

"We have twin thieves, a hacker, a con artist and an illegal fighter organisation person?" Sehun asked slowly. He wouldn't admit it but he was interested. They seemed like interesting people and didn't do half the shit Luhan had said. The only remaining query Sehun had was Minseok. Hell he didn't even know where he was. He didn't know Minseok's backstory and he doubted the others would tell him. 

**XxX**

 Sehun was wandering around the prison during afternoon freetime the next day wondering what to do. He could always go to the library but he had a feeling Yixing and Baekhyun were there. He liked being around the group, they were people to talk to, but he didn't feel comfortable enough being there without Baekhyun. 

Suddenly Sehun was slammed into the wall by an explainable force. His vision instantly went blurry as his head smacked against the concrete.

He couldn't see who it was and he couldn't hear what they were saying. He was able to understand 'Luhan' but that was about it. Fear coursed through him. Sehun had a sickly feeling he was about to witness what Luhan did. Only this time, he knew he didn't have anyone to help him. He knew he wasn't going to be saved. Sehun felt tears start to fill his eyes as the only thing he could think of was Minseok. All those times Minseok saved him. Minseok was always there. Minseok knew what to do. But Minseok wasn't here this time. Sehun was sure of it. 

Sehun braced himself as the man in front of him punched him again, he felt the blood run down his face along with the tears. Opening his eyes again he saw faintly the man pull his arm back once more, Sehun closed his eyes to brace himself but the punch never came. Sehun opened his eyes again, fear racing through him, his heart beating faster than it's probably meant to, even in this situation. Someone was stood between him and the man. Someone familiar. Someone who always was there to help. Someone who made Sehun hate himself for wishing he was there. 

"Minseok..." Sehun whispered before letting his body drop the floor and his surroundings go black. 

* * *

 

**I really hope you liked this chapter! Please leave a comment telling me how you feel about this story so far, I'm really enjoying writing it but I hope you guys are enjoying reading it!**


	8. If nobody sees does it still happen?

_"Sehun?"_

_"Hey Sehun?"_

_"Jesus is he alright?"_

Sehun cracked his eyes open a little bit. He was lying on the floor, Baekhyun was leaning over him along with Yixing and Minseok. 

"He's alright, christ" Baekhyun called out to the rest of the group that seemed to be there as well, 

"What happened..?" Sehun whispered out, reaching up to touch his eye and wincing when he felt the bruise protruding around his eye. 

"You got beat up real good" Baekhyun said kneeling next to his head, brushing the hair out of his way, "luckily Minseok was there"

"Minseok saved me..?" Sehun said quietly, still trying to comprehend what that meant along with the piercing bright light above his head and the pounding ache deep in his skull that flowed through the rest of his body the minute he tried to move. 

"Yes, he stopped you from getting beat up worse" Baekhyun said slowly, maintaining eye contact, "he made sure you were safe before coming to get us" 

Suddenly the words hit Sehun and he understood what he was being told. Minseok had saved him, Minseok had jumped in to take all the credit when he easily could have taken that guy on himself. Rage filled through Sehun overpowering the pain he felt in his everything, it seemed to be the emotion he was feeling the most these days.

"What the hell do you mean he saved me?!" Sehun shouted, sitting up and instantly regretting it as the pain in his head only worsened. "I easily could have protected myself!"

Minseok shrugged and walked over to the rest of the group, slightly downed from Sehun never being thankful. Minseok knew he didn't have to do this, he knew he didn't have to jump in and he knew he didn't have to keep tabs on the kid so he knew he wasn't in any trouble. Minseok wasn't quite sure why he did it anyway, it's not like he owed Sehun anything, it's not like he even knew him. Minseok's subconscious had always been a mystery to him. A lot of the time he acted on impulse but was never able to identify the impulse. Sehun triggered that impulse a lot. Minseok always found himself watching Sehun, watching to make sure he was okay, even though Sehun hated it. 

Sehun sighed to himself and closed his eyes again. Why did Minseok insist on helping him? Why did he insist on always being there when he got into stupid situations? Sehun knew he couldn't fight back, he knew he wouldn't have gotten even close to fighting back against the stranger who seemed to hate him now, but even so, being beaten up and attempting to fight back was better for his pride than being rescued by someone he didn't even know. The thing that pissed Sehun off the most was that he knew he owed Minseok a lot. He owed his entire life to him, especially since he was almost certain he was going to die in that bathroom. Minseok could defend himself, that was the problem. Sehun knew that before he was fully at peace he would need to do something for Minseok, as much as he didn't want to. If he does that then maybe Minseok will leave him alone, maybe he'll finally get some peace. Sure it would be sad not talking to Baekhyun since, admittedly, Baekhyun was sweet. Sehun knew he would have to push back his hatred for gays if he was to ever become friends with Baekhyun, but was it worth it? Was forgetting everything he was taught worth it for one person who he met in a prison? It would be easier repaying Minseok, sadly, and finding a different, less gay group to call his own. That was it, the next time Minseok got into any type of trouble he would jump in. He would pay back his debt and go on his way. The plan was foolproof. 

"Hey Minseok?" Baekhyun asked after helping Sehun stand up properly,

"Hm?" Minseok responded, turning around from where he was stood facing Joonmyun,

"How did you get out? Out of solitary I mean?"

"It's a weird story, should we sit down? Sehun looks like he's about to faint" Minseok noted and walked off into the common room. Sehun stuck his middle finger up behind his back before feeling his legs go weak. Baekhyun managed to catch him, 

"let's sit you down" Baek said and allowed Sehun to use him as an arm rest as they both made their way into the common room towards the sofa's. 

After everyone sat down and Baekhyun checked up on Sehun's condition Minseok started explaining,

"Okay so I've been here for a good 10 years already, which means all the guards know me. This is useful because it means they trust me. In my entire time here I've been in about 2 fights and both were with Luhan-"

"I call bullshit on that" Chanyeol called out and laughed, 

"Major fights you dipshit, like revenge fights, like yesterday. Anyway the guards and the prison director all know I'm a reasonably chilled person, which means me wandering around isn't a threat to anyone. That's the reasoning why the guards only had to gesture to me and I followed, they don't feel like they need to use force. But anyway, I'm out because in the end the guards trust me to not go around starting fights, and the fact that Luhan is better off dead-"

"He's dead?!" Jongdae called out, Minseok nodded,

"dead as a doorknob, we beat him up pretty good, cracked his skull and all" Minseok continued, "but that's besides the point. Luhan was a convicted rapist and sex offender, the prison really couldn't care less if he died and I don't think the public would either. I got a night in solitary confinement and a slap on the wrist, but they're only treating me that way because I know I'm not stupid enough to think I can get away with everything because of that" Minseok finished,

"you get away with everything anyway" Chanyeol called out and Kyungsoo turned and punched him, Chanyeol fell off the chair and onto the floor with a thump. 

"You'll pay for that" Chanyeol growled,

"Growl more, furry, gives us more to joke about" Kyungsoo mumbled causing Chanyeol to pout and turn away. 

A large buzzer echoed throughout the prison. 

"That's yard time" Jongin mumbled, "it's a nice day outside at least"

"Come on, we should play basketball, Sehun can keep score" Baekhyun calls out, grinning. 

"You only like that game because Yixing takes his shirt off, you're such a burden to have on the team" Jongdae said,

"that's not fair!" Baekhyun called out, "who cares let's go play! Please?"

"Fine, we could all use the sun, especially someone over there" Minseok said raising a brow at Sehun who glared harder.

**XxX**

Eventually two teams were set out on the prisons large basketball court. On one team were Jongin, Jongdae, Minseok and Yixing while on the other were Baekhyun, Chanyeol, Joonmyun and Kyungsoo. Sehun had made himself reasonably comfortable on the grass in the shade of a tree, pencil and paper in hand ready to take score. 

Sehun was content with his role, he wasn't expected to do anything but he was still involved which weirdly made Sehun happy. He wasn't sure why, he was always content working and being by himself. In fact, he enjoyed the solitary. In a way he had always been missing from the big groups, he was never included in them and had to make do on his own. Was this a big group that wasn't passing up the chance to have him involved? He knew Baekhyun liked having him around, but what about anyone else? Hell he wasn't even sure if he wanted to be around them. He'd done well so far, knowing most of them were gay, but he didn't know how much longer he could go on. He was scared.

Sehun stretched himself out on the grass and looked up at the sun. It had been so long since he had been outside. He and Luhan never went out they just stayed indoors, which was a shame since there was nothing Sehun loved more than just sitting outside and watching the sky. 

Soon enough the game started. Sehun watched carefully, occasionally looking away to watch the birds. He made sure to write down who got a point and to make sure nobody cheated, especially Chanyeol, however, the game went smoothly. 

Yixing managed to score 3 points, Minseok scored 5, Jongin scored 2 and Jongdae blocked about 10. Chanyeol and Baekhyun got hit with the ball more than they actually got control of it, Kyungsoo and Joonmyun were desperately trying to compensate for their terrible teammates. 

Chanyeol eventually managed to score one point and turned around to face his team while shouting, "suck my big fat cock!!" 

"It's not that big" Joonmyun mumbled and Chanyeol stuck his finger up at him. 

Sehun let out a small smile while watching the group. It was something he'd wanted for a long time. Friends to joke to, people to spend hours talking to and people who wouldn't judge him when everyone else did. Sehun had that once, he had the boy. The boy didn't judge him, he accepted him. While disgusted at his past actions, Sehun missed them. He missed feeling safe and loved, even if it was from a strange boy who never spoke. 

Eventually Yixing took off his shirt from the heat and all that remained of Baekhyuns concentration dissolved. Kyungsoo grumbled loudly while Baekhyun stood aside watching Yixing run with the ball, the sweat dripping down his toned chest. Joonmyun tackled Yixing for the ball and hurled it at Baekhyun, hitting him straight in the head. 

"We aren't losing this game! Get your head out of Yixings ass or I will stable his shirt to him" Joonmyun shouted as Baekhyun threw the ball back and rubbed his nose, slinking off towards Sehun grumbling to himself. Baekhyun sat down next to Sehun in the shade as Minseok joined Yixing in removing his shirt.

This caught Sehun off guard. He had been observing the group but once Minseok's shirt was removed his couldn't pull his eyes away. Sehun did about 12 different takes at Minseok's chest before forcing himself to look at something else, but even then Minseok always seemed to appear in his vision. Baekhyun stood back up and tossed Sehun his sunglasses,

"Keep these safe for me?" He asked before running back onto the court. 

Sehun placed the sunglasses on his head for safe keeping before slowly allowing himself to watch Minseok. Once wouldn't hurt, and if nobody knew did it really happen? Sehun watched Minseok run around, watched his body and his chest. Watched the facial expressions change on his face and watched him run his hand through his sweat soaked bright blue hair. If nobody knew he was doing it, was it okay to enjoy it?

* * *

 

**Thank you so much for reading!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow my new insta @ loeysfursuit where i bully chanyeol and make photoshop mistakes


	9. Yixings cookies

**Hi everyone! I hope all your days have been good! Just a pre-warning this chapter might be a little short as I'm reasonably sick and have been sleeping for most of the day and just haven't been feeling good. I'm still gonna try and get some-what of an update out tonight so I apologize in advance if it isn't as long as they normally are.**

**Chapter warnings: mentioned kinks, more furry talk**

* * *

 

In the past 24 hours Sehun had spent a lot of time around Minseok and his little crew. Of course this wasn't Sehun's choice, more of Baekhyun's who wouldn't stop acting like a small child until Sehun gave in. It wasn't a totally terrible day that he'd spent with them, and despite his ego and self esteem, he enjoyed being around them. They weren't a bad group, in fact they were reasonably easy people to talk to. 

Sehun learned a lot of valuable things in the past day, the first one being Chanyeol is an uncover furry and seems to be the main thing the group enjoyed bringing up. Sehun wasn't sure where he stood on the assumption. He knew he was against gays, well mostly against them as he was able to stand being around Baekhyun without feeling as if he was going to throw up, but he wasn't sure about his opinion on furries. In all honesty he wasn't even sure what a furry was, even with Baekhyun's attempted explanation.

_"What even is a furry?" Sehun whispered to Baekhyun after another joke was made,_

_"it's someone who likes to dress up as animals" Baekhyun replied, grinning from ear to ear awaiting another joke,_

_"why would someone do that?" Sehun asked again, still confused. Baekhyun shrugged,_

_"ask Chanyeol not me" He said and laughed._

Sehun was pulled out of his thoughts when Baekhyun plonked himself down next to Sehun on the sofa's with a plate of chocolate chip cookies in hand.

"Cookie?" Baekhyun offered as Sehun stared bewildered at the plate, he hadn't had a cookie in years. He nodded and took one, looking over the biscuit before taking a bite.

"Where did you get these?" Sehun asked, instantly happy at the familiar taste he'd abandoned once before, he was certain he would never stop eating cookies again,

"We all have ties around here" Baekhun said and winked before laughing, "no I'm kidding, Yixing has a stash of them that he thinks are hidden" 

This was a weird situation for Sehun. A situation he never even would have considered himself being in. He was sat in a prison, with a maybe gay friend, maybe on the friend part Sehun was well aware of how gay Baekhyun was, discussing cookies that were stolen from said maybe friends boyfriend. Surely this was against everything that he had been taught. Technically he shouldn't even be sat with Baekhyun, he should be off somewhere else with straight people who wouldn't check out his ass when he stood up. Not like they did that but still. Then again, Sehun had been in a lot of weird situations recently. He bit into the cookie once more, allowing yesterdays memories to fill his mind. Had he actually checked out Minseok? Surely not, if anything he was simply amazed at his basketball ability, yes that was it. There was no way he was watching him for his chest or anything else. 

Sehun scrunched up his face. When had his life become so stressful. Was some higher being messing with him? Forcing him to watch another male in a way that shouldn't ever be done? Sehun sighed to himself. Even though he had never been specifically told he couldn't appreciate someone else's appearance he felt like it fell under the same category. Sehun knew he wasn't gay, and if anything he was simply amazed at how Minseok was able to maintain his build, that was even if he technically was checking him out. Which he wasn't. 

Eventually the others, including Minseok, joined them at the sofa's. Instantly Sehun felt more uncomfortable. He didn't have many problems sitting with Baekhyun, even if he was gay. Baekhyun had a boyfriend, which meant as long as Yixing wasn't there he could pretend Baekhyun was straight, even though he even looks gay. Sehun knew Jongin and Jongdae were together as well, they didn't make an effort to hide it, but they hadn't really spoke before. He was uncomfortable being alone around them. They didn't seem as gentle as Baekhyun, 

"You know, I was just thinking of a really funny story" Yixing said as he walked over and did a double take at the plate of biscuits,

"what story?" Jongin asked, looking up at Yixing who squeezed himself onto the sofa. 

"It's a story from ages ago, and to do with me and Baekhyun, but I just remember how funny I found it" Yixing said as the group looked at him, waiting for him to tell the story.

_"Yixing...?" Baekhyun asked, looking at his boyfriend from the other side of their bed,_

_"Hm?"_

_"You'd love me no matter what right?"_

_"Of course, we've been together for years, why?" Yixing asked, turning over to face his boyfriend._

_"No reason.." Baekhyun mumbled,_

_"No come on, what's wrong?" Yixing said placing a hand on his cheek_

_"It's nothing I just... I don't know... I've been thinking of something I want to try"_

_"What do you mean? Like a hobby?"_

_"No.. something to do with.... you know...." Baekhyun mumbled again,_

_"with what?" Yixing asked gently,_

_"Sex" Baekhyun whispered._

_Yixing had to stop himself from laughing. Baekyun had been the most innocent person he knew and now he was talking about potential kinks? Yixing knew Baekhyun was innocent, and if there was anything kinky about him he would have sensed it._

_"Well... What is it?" Yixing asked after composing himself, he'll admit he was curious, but he doubted Baekhyuns 'kink' would last long enough,_

_"You'll laugh... Or find me disgusting"_

_"Come on Baek, no I won't"_

_"You will!" Baekhyun whined,_

_"I promise I won't, please tell me?"_

_Baekhyun took a deep breath before whispering as quietly as possible, "...Pee"_

Yixing paused the story while everyone turned to look at Baekhyun who had gone red in the face,

"you have a piss kink?" Minseok called out, tears rolling down his eyes from laughter,

"No!" Baekhyun called out, "Just tell the rest of the story" he mumbled,

"Alright alright! So we tried it and well, let's just say it didn't end how we expected it to" Yixing said, looking at Baekhyun.

"I threw up okay!" Baekhyun admitted,

"All over me, himself and the floor. It was horrible but looking back it's pretty funny" Yixing said.

"Why were you thinking about it?" Chanyeol asked, smugly, "do you have a piss kink?"

"No I don't Chanyeol I was thinking of ways to get Baekhyun back for stealing my biscuits again, why? Do you?" Yixing asked, making sure to lock eye contact with Chanyeol who instantly went uncomfortable.

"No! Of course not! Only sicko's have piss kinks!" Chanyeol spat out and turned to look away, Kyungsoo accidentally let out a small chuckle. 

"Fuck you!" Chanyeol shouted.

The light hearted mood soon changed when Tao and Yifan walked over and stood behind Minseok who was sat on the floor.

Tao cleared his throat and Minseok turned to look at them, he raised an eyebrow.

"Fuck you, pretty boy" Tao said, staring Minseok down,

"No thanks, I'm saving myself for someone that isn't you" Minseok said and smiled, 

"You listen here you little fucker!" Yifan said, grabbing Minseok by his shirt and lifting him up so they were at equal height. "You stop protecting that little shit or you're gonna get yourself fucking hurt"

"Oh really?" Minseok asked, raising his eyebrow, "and who's going to hurt me? Jongdae you up for it? Chanyeol maybe? Because I know damn well you pussies couldn't hurt me even if you tried. Run along, mommys calling" He said and spat in Yifan's face.

Yifan growled and dropped Minseok back down before storming off.

"How long do you think it'll take them to figure out?" Kyungsoo asked,

"about Luhan?" Minseok asked and Kyungsoo nodded,

"I give them tomorrow. They'll be more rowdy when they find out, best keep our guard up" Joonmyun chirped in, "especially around Sehun since you insist on keeping him breathing."

"Too much blood has been shed recently, I'm not planning on the next one being any of us sat here, regardless" Minseok said and turned to talk to Kyungsoo.

It still baffled Sehun. Even with him sat about a foot from Minseok he still insists on being open about keeping him out of harms way. It pissed him off more than anything but he was right. There has been too much blood shed recently. 

* * *

**I'm rlly sorry this chapter is pretty short but my headache has started again and I just really want to go back to sleep. But anyway thank you so much for reading, any comments are appreciated and I read them all.**


	10. Open my cage

**Hi guys! I'm happy to inform you I'm feeling better and will be updating again as usual with the general same word count as originally, potentially with a few longer chapters depending on what happens between the plans and what I can stretch it to!**

**Chapter warnings: one time mention of rape**

* * *

 

Sehun opened his eyes slowly. The room was still dark and was filled with an uneasy atmosphere, the previous nights dream still fresh in his mind. It had been a few days since Luhan's death and Sehun hadn't yet allowed it to sink in. The walls surrounding him held secrets, secrets both everyone knew and didn't know. Secrets about him, secrets about Luhan, secrets about his late night thoughts. Thoughts nobody would know about. Thoughts Sehun couldn't even bring himself to think about during the day. Deep thoughts. Bad thoughts. Thoughts that carried him to a peaceful slumber but only this time the dreams were different. Dreams of his past soon scratched away a guilty pleasure, bloodily and painfully bringing Sehun back to the realization of who he was and why he was in prison in the first place. 

His dreams scared him. They kept him in a cage where they taunted him for crimes he committed out of order, and crimes he committed because he was told they were crimes. Sehun often wondered how many things he was told no to, how many times those things were normal. The mafia took a toll on his young body, denying him many things, one of those being affection. As a grown man he knew it wasn't the man he craved but the pleasure of being around another human, another person who's heart beat for the chance of being caught. On more chances than he'd like to admit Sehun would wonder where that boy is, if that boy is alive or if he's dead. A boy that was there when nobody else was. A boy. Not a girl. That was a crime, in the mafia anyway. A crime Sehun foolishly committed on multiple accounts. A crime he swore to himself he would never confess to. 

The mafia often told him how gentle they were compared to the outside world. Compared to everyone else and all their different views. They would tell him stories of boys that were flogged to death because they were standing too close. It was a painful reality he grew up in. Occasionally Sehun would wish that wasn't his life, but then he remembers how luckily he is to even be alive right now. 

Sehun was in a weird mood and he knew that from the moment his eyes opened and rested upon the cold concrete wall in front of him. The same wall Luhan would often be passing in the early dawn. Sehun's eyes relaxed when they realized Luhan wasn't going to be passing. Guilt rested in Sehun's stomach. Was this his fault? Did he murder yet another person? The same detached feeling he felt when he lost the boy was back. It rested over him like a cloak, hiding his true feelings from the world as he hid inside his head allowing his body to walk around like a fresh corpse. He wouldn't speak, not to anyone. Not until this feeling passes, but when will it pass? Sehun woke up feeling like this once and it didn't leave for two weeks. Two weeks without a word to anyone. Two weeks hiding in his own skull, begging for someone to release him from his inevitable cage. But they didn't. Would anyone this time? Sehun doubted it. 

Sehun swung his feet over the end of the bed. They touched the cold concrete beneath him, the usual shock of the freezing material didn't phase him today. Nothing would. He was but an empty shell trying to find his way back. Sehun contemplated skipping breakfast, ignoring everyone and staying in his room. He knew it wouldn't work. Baekhyun would come looking for him, worried something else had happened. Sehun didn't know how to explain how he was feeling. Not to himself, and not to anyone else. They would have to live in the dark until he found his tongue. If he ever finds his tongue. 

Sehun left the room with the hopes the thick atmosphere will stay, but it followed. It followed him throughout the rooms he went through, filling them with its presence. Nobody else was able to sense it was there, but Sehun could. Every room he entered was filled with a thick black feeling, a dark feeling. Emptiness. Pain. Nothingness. The words circled his head and his body followed, numbly. The bigger the room the bigger the atmosphere. During his time spent at the mafia he would find a room or a closet no bigger than him. He would hide in it. Squash his body up so he took up most of the space not the feeling that followed. He'd lock it out. Await it to go away. He couldn't do that here. He would face it, he had no choice. Sehun was unaware of what he would do. He's never faced this feeling before but it seemed like it was now or never.

Sehun entered the dining hall and sat down in an empty space next to Baekhyun. Empty. Empty space. Empty him. Empty everywhere. The conversation around him didn't die down. It didn't shift when he sat down and it didn't change when he faced the table and refused to look up. The group went on as if he wasn't there. Jokes were told and laughs were exchanged. Nothing seemed to be different from any other day. They didn't feel what was surrounding them, drowning him, forcing him to watch the horrors he tried so deeply to suppress. No words were spoken by Sehun that morning. No conversations were directed towards him and nobody looked at him. Sehun occasionally wondered if he was actually there, or had he some how found a way to turn invisible. 

Invisible. A way to hide from everyone and anyone who tried to hurt him. Sehun would like to hide from time to time but in a place like this there was no where to hide. Not from himself anyway. Any other place he would lock himself away or put on a smile and pretend he was okay, but this wasn't any other place. This was a place built to crack people. Built to cause those who did wrong to face themselves and their problems. The walls would make a man go mad. No sunlight other than specific times, no windows and no other human interaction unless it was from sick people who did things like he did. Sehun watched as everyone stood to leave the room. He didn't know where half of them were going and he didn't care. They were all rats, caged away from the real world because they proved themselves as not worthy of freedom and happiness.

Sehun followed the group along to their designated seats at the back of the common room next to the radio. He didn't follow them because he wanted to, he did it because he was expected to. There were a lot of things Sehun was expected to do, say, and think, both in prison and in the mafia. Sehun never had full control over what he was allowed to do. He wasn't the person he was meant to be. A lot of bad things happened to those who didn't allow themselves to be molded. There were different types of bad things, but they were all bad. Horror stories used to flood the dorms when one of the new men refused. The older members would tell stories of the screams they would hear, the fighting and the chains holding them to the wall deep down below the ground. Those stories were used as a training method. A method to show the young ones not to disobey. Sehun knew this, he wasn't dumb, but he obeyed still. He didn't want to see for himself what they would do to him. 

The conversations continued between the group, Sehun still not uttering a single word. The group didn't seem phased, they just carried on with their conversation. Sehun didn't hear what they were saying, he could only watch their mouths move. Reality wasn't real to him at the moment, it was shifting and changing. The cloak that covered his body, and the mist that fogged the room around him made the air heavy. It was hard to breathe and if it wasn't necessary for life he wouldn't do it. Sehun did a lot of things he wouldn't do if he had a choice in the matter. He wouldn't kill and he wouldn't be the person he was. It was too late now. The blood of those he slaughtered would forever be discoloring his hands. The personality he was given will always out way and crush the one he was never allowed to find. 

If Sehun focused enough he was able to hear one person. He could watch their lips move and ever so slightly hear the sound come out. He tried it first with Baekhyun. He watched him closely, reading his lips as they spoke. Eventually the words came with it. Gentle remarks about his lover, or the throw back of a joke aiming it at someone else. Baekhyun's voice was soothing, but not enough to bring him back. It always seemed like this. A fist caught in his throat and nobody's voice to sooth him back. It was scary, he'd never admit it but it was. He wasn't strong enough to deal with the things his mind locked him inside. Small boxes filled with memories that are better left forgotten. Thoughts he had when he was small, thoughts he'd never think to remember. Pointless things, things long lost in the past. He'd remember them. He'd hear them. It was a trance. 

Sehun watched as someone else came over to join the group. Strange, nobody ever came over to see them. Them. As if he was a part of that group. He would never be part of that group. Sehun flicked his head up to the scene unraveling in front of him. A show without audio, only poorly translated subtitles. Sehun searched his mind for the identity of the man who stood in front of them in deep conversation with someone else. Yifan. Friend of Tao and friend of Luhan. Sehun wondered if he'd just found out about Luhan's death, he looked pretty angry. The room around him got thicker, heavier, harder to breath in. Was it getting worse? Sehun looked around, Baekhyun seemed uneasy, could he feel it too? The rest of the groups facial expression had changed. Before they were happy, surrounded by their friends or maybe lovers. They were enjoying themselves, apparently something that doesn't last long. Yifan's presence seemed to suck the life away from them. His lips kept moving but Sehun couldn't hear the words that were crushing the group. 

"-step father did to you" 

Sehun almost jumped. Part of their conversation penetrated the thick walls surrounding Sehun. His eyes darted from one member to another, unaware of who the part of sentence was directed at. Most of them looked the same. The same wide eyed opened mouthed expression. One of them was different. One of them wasn't shock. It was pain. Raw, unfiltered, scarred pain. Fresh on their face. The face of the man with bright blue hair. The man who seemed to fear nothing. Minseok. Minseok's eyes read a thousand stories of torture and fear. Eyes Sehun was never able to read. Eyes that hid any instinct of unhappiness or agony. Eyes that were a mask to the truth.

Sehun felt his body rise. Unable to control the instinct he was following, his conscious mind watched from deep within his mind. Sehun watched himself place his body firmly between Minseok and Yifan. His head tilted staring the man in the eyes. The man who raped him in the bathroom. The man who was friends with Luhan. The man who made him feel as if death was the only option in this place. Sehun watched himself lean in close until they were only an inch away from each other. He was unable to see his own facial expression but everyone else saw. Everyone else saw the anger, the trauma, the horrors in his eyes that made Yifan tremor in his spot. 

"Back the fuck off"

Sehun was shocked at the sound of his own voice. He never spoke when he was like this, he didn't know how. He still didn't, but that didn't stop the rage from bubbling deep within himself. Yifan ran at the chance he got. The rest of the group seemed like they wanted to. Sehun turned to face them. They all looked terrified. Sehun was too. He couldn't control himself and didn't know what to do. 

"And here I thought you hated me" Minseok spoke gently with a laugh, breaking the silence.

The world came crushing back down to Sehun who stood in shock in the middle of the group. The quiet noise of the common room was faintly in the background, the air was lighter and the atmosphere that followed him descended back deep within himself. Sehun was in control again. Relief flooded through him at the realization that he didn't have to deal with that feeling any longer. This soon faded when he realized who's voice brought him back to earth.

* * *

 

**I hope you enjoyed the chapter! We have also hit over 1K views on the story and that may not be big to others but that's amazing to me considering I've only written 10 chapters and don't even have the full plan completed yet! Thank you all so much for reading !**


	11. Welcome to hell

**This is technically not before the story (I'm half way writing it at the moment) but I just spent the last 10 minutes trying to remember the name for an arm chair... I was born in England, I speak English (and a tiny bit of spanish) why am I forgetting so many words today**

**Chapter warnings: mentioned homophobia, mentioned suicide**

* * *

 

Sehun was sat on the edge of the leather sofa that was tucked away in the corner near the groups beloved radio. His legs were tucked up safely under him as he propped his head against his hand, leaning on the arm of the chair. Baekhyun was sat next to him, his legs pulled up to his chest as he held them with his arms. Baekhyun was mostly facing his lover, Yixing, who was happily sat on the floor with his head on the chair next to where Baekhyun sat. As far as Sehun was concerned they were talking about something he didn't care for, something to do with their relationship. He often wondered how successful a relationship would be in a prison, but even he, a trained homophobe, could tell that the love Baekhyun and Yixing shared would survive anything the prison would do. 

During the short amount of time Sehun had stayed in the prison he had noticed two important things. The first one was that none of the guards cared who was sleeping with who. The second was that he couldn't trust anyone. Glancing across at Baekhyun, Sehun re-thought his previous statement. No he could trust people, he just wasn't going to. 

It was early in the morning and the rest of the group hadn't yet risen to join them, not like Sehun cared. Sehun was still incredibly pissed off at what had happened the previous day. He had jumped in and made Yifan go away, he threatened Yifan all because he saw the agony in Minseok's eyes and he didn't even get a thank you. Instead he got some cocky response. It angered Sehun beyond recognition, this was the last time he would do shit for Minseok and he was certain of that. 

There was one other thing that bothered Sehun. One small detail that kept him up late last night. A detail that filled his dreams and for once kept away the nightmares. He would have preferred the nightmares. Minseok's voice made the bad feeling go away. Nobody has been able to do that before and it scared Sehun, it scared him a lot. Ever since he made his very first kill in the mafia the feeling followed him. Nothing stopped it and nothing made it go away. Sehun learned over time to deal with it, to hide until the time passed and it slowly drifted away until the next time. Should he be relieved? That question echoed around him and kept him awake until the crack of dawn. Should he be happy? That someone was here in the prison and they had the power to make it go away? Sehun wasn't happy. He wasn't happy knowing that the one man who he couldn't stand, second to Luhan Tao and Yifan, was the one man who possessed the voice that cleared the air around him. 

What if one day Sehun was sat in a house of his own, with a couple kids and a loving wife? What if she wasn't able to take him away from the bad feelings? What if she got herself hurt because she couldn't help him? What if she left because she couldn't do anything? He would be alone then. Alone with the thoughts and the thick air. The thought made Sehun shudder which alerted Baekhyun who was still sat next to him.

"You okay?" Baekhyun asked, his voice was pure and filled with curiosity,

"Yeah. It's just cold" Sehun lied, waving his hand slightly to dismiss the conversation. Baekhyun smiled gently to him before turning back to face his lover, allowing Sehun to continue with his day dreams.

Sehun didn't manage to slip back into his thoughts, instead the once quiet common room started to fill with noise as the usual morning dwellers made their way in, along with the remaining members of the group. Sehun spotted Minseok's bright blue hair from a mile away and suddenly his grudge was back. He forced his eyes away from the man and softened the icy cold glare he was making. Sehun noticed Jongdae and Jongin following slowly behind the group, Sehun would bet money on Kyungsoo banging on the door until one of them answered. Sehun couldn't remember the last time he slept until past 6am. He didn't do that when he was on the street, the orphanage he was in had a strict policy on oversleeping and the mafia was always busy so hardly anyone got more than 3 hours a night. 

In a way he was grateful for his past, it prepared him. Every time he saw Jongin and Jongdae before 10am they looked like freshly cooked death on a plate. Bags would hang under their eyes and their bed hair told a story of laziness and an impatient Kyungsoo breaking down the door nearly. Sehun was grateful for the 8 hours he received nightly, but he was still grateful at the 5 he had been receiving these past few nights. It was a gift, in Sehun's eyes anyway. He would stay up late and re-think everything that happened in the day, it would calm him, and then he'd wake up the next morning with the strength to pull himself from the warm cavern his blankets created. 

The group sat themselves down in their usual space. Chanyeol was on the second sofa, sprawled out so nobody else could sit. Kyungsoo would aggressively shove the mans legs out the way and sit down himself. Depending on the time, Jongin and Jongdae would curl up on the single arm chair and attempt to catch a few more hours of sleep until breakfast. Joonmyun would either sit on the floor, next to Minseok, or a space on the sofa if one was free. Joonmyun was the only one who fluctuated depending on where everyone else was. 

Joonmyun was one of the people in the group that Sehun didn't have an opinion on. They'd never spoken properly and he knew nothing about him. He obviously wasn't in a relationship which left his sexuality out of the question too. It peaked Sehun's curiosity. He wanted to know more about the man, not for his own personal pleasure but for the fact that he knew next to nothing about him. He was a hacker, yes, but that left more questions. All Sehun knew from Joonmyun was that he didn't seem to care about much, which meant he thought about a lot. Joonmyun wasn't the only person that spiked Sehun's curiosity. Minseok did too. Sehun would never admit it, but there was a small part of him that wondered about the man. He wondered about his past, and about the step father he heard about yesterday. Who was his step father? Was he good? Bad? Sehun doubted he'd never find out, but it wasn't a crime to wonder.

**XxX**

Breakfast passed quickly and soon the group was back in their original spot. Jongdae and Jongin had woken up a bit and would ever so often include themselves in the discussion. 

"That's a lot of guards" Chanyeol muttered, stopping the conversation as everyone turned to look. Chanyeol was right, there was a lot of guards. They all seemed to pill into the room and a lot of them looked like there was something on their mind. 

"This can't be good" Kyungsoo replied, standing up and walking over to the group of guards, soon followed by the rest of the group and eventually the rest of the common room. One of the prisons maintenance staff was also there, he seemed to be pinning something up on the wall behind the barricade of guards. 

"Attention everyone," one of the guards said loudly, stopping the low hum of noise in the room, "as of today we will be bringing back one on one sessions with a trained psychiatrist, and group sessions will be held once a week with a group of your choice. Groups will be a max of 9 prisoners, I expect you to have your groups organised and brought to us within the next few days. Behind me is a board, this board will include all of your names along with a time and day of the week. Find your name, day, time and room number and make sure to not be late. Consequences will be delivered to those who are forced to their session. Please keep in mind this is for the good of your health and for the good of the rest of the country upon your time of leave."

"You are kidding me" Minseok grumbled to himself as the group wandered back to their designated spots. 

"This is really bad, I'm not ready for these things again" Baekhyun said quietly as he huffed down onto the sofa again.

"I'm sorry but... What are these sessions?" Sehun asked, leaning over to Baekhyun making sure Minseok knew that his question wasn't directed at him, but at Baekhyun. Minseok didn't even look at him, this annoyed him further. 

"They're stupid sessions where everyone goes to see some stupid therapist person to talk about their crime and their feelings" Baekhyun began, "it's shitty because think of the people who don't want to remember their crime? Or their reasoning for it?" Baekhyun said, glancing at Minseok who was talking quietly to Joonmyun before looking at Sehun, "they make you relive a large part of your past that people aren't ready to relive. If you refuse, you get punished. Honestly it's just torture."

"That's bad.. Why would they do that to us?" Sehun asked,

"because we're prisoners, why would they care if we get stressed out?"

Sehun nodded, "I see.." 

"People have killed themselves over these 'therapy' sessions" Minseok blurted out, "that's why they had to stop them. Then again this place keeps getting more money so why would they care if a few felons died" 

Sehun fell silent. He didn't want to talk to Minseok. Sehun cleared his throat, "I'm going to see when my time is" 

Sehun walked over to the board after the guards had left. It was a large board, it looked nice on the concrete wall. It added some colour, even if that colour was the names of prisoners who had to deal with their own personal hell. Sehun scanned the wall and came across some of the names of the people from that group he, for some reason, was sat with. Sehun found his name and internally swore. He was one of the first people up, and after him was Jongin. He kept count of all the people that he knew from the board but one was missing. Minseok. Sehun scanned again and again but he couldn't find Minseok's name. He shrugged and walked back over to the group.

"I'm up in an hour, Jongin you're after I get back room 5A, same as me" Sehun said,

"Fuck sake" Jongin cursed from the arm chair, "thanks for telling me"

"Baekhyun you're tomorrow at 12, and then Yixing at 4, both in room 6G, then on Thursday that's Kyungsoo at 9 in room 2C, and then Jongdae on Friday at 6 in 2C also. Chanyeol you're on Monday, so you've missed this week, but in room 7D at 11 and then Joonmyun you're today at 9 in room 5G but you've missed it already so I guess that's good" Sehun said and sat down, suddenly feeling very shy.

"Impressive memory" Chanyeol called out and Sehun gave a small smile in return.

"Where was my name?" Minseok asked, slightly believing he purposely missed it out.

Sehun shrugged, "wasn't there... I looked" 

_"Minseok what the hell are you saying?! Listen to yourself" Kyungsoo shouted across the small room that they owned,_

_"I know what I'm saying for fucks sake! And I'm not changing my opinion" Minseok shouted back._

_"No you listen to me" Kyungsoo shouted, making sure he kept his hand tightly around Minseok's wrist until his hand dropped the blade. "You are not doing this shit, not tonight and not now" Kyungsoo had come back from his session to find Minseok about to slit his throat or something stupid like that, he didn't ask he just reacted. Kyungsoo knew the sessions had been hard on him, but that didn't mean suicide was the option._

_"Every single week I have to re-live that hell! Relive what my father did to me as the fucking therapist tries to justify his actions! I can't fucking handle it Kyungsoo, please, just fucking leave" Minseok shouted at his friend._

_"No! I'm not leaving you like this" Kyungsoo said softly as his free hand held Minseok's face. Minseok had been strong since the moment Kyungsoo met him. This was the first time he had ever seen Minseok cry. Tears were streaming down his face and he looked a mess. Kyungsoo could never understand first hand what is friend had gone through, and he couldn't come close to understanding what it felt like to relive it every single week._

_"Please" Minseok begged, it was obvious how much he was suffering._

_"No" Kyungsoo said gently, rubbing his friends cheek, "I'm taking you to tell someone, they'll stop your therapy sessions I promise"_

Minseok looked at Kyungsoo, they both knew why he didn't have any sessions. Kyungsoo smiled gently at Minseok as he mouthed the words 'thank you' at his friend. What Kyungsoo did for him that day was something he will always remember.

**XxX**

After the hour passed Sehun slowly made his way over to the room he was expected to have his session in. Sehun was scared, all the stories he was told made him realize how much he was not willing to go back into his past. Sehun sighed as he knocked on the big white door. A gentle voice from inside permitted his entry.

Inside the room was white, quiet like the infirmary. Inside there was a dark purple sofa and a desk with a computer. There were a few pictures on the desk and a stack of paper along with a desk lamp. There was a woman sat at the desk. She seemed as if she was in her late 20's or early 30's. She had shoulder length brown hair and dark eyes, she wore glasses and sat slumped over a stack of paperwork with a hand through her hair.

"Hi..." Sehun squeaked out as she turned to look at him. Instantly her facial expression brightened as she pointed to the sofa and took off her glasses. She moved the paperwork aside and smiled gently at him.

"Hello, Sehun is it?" She said as she did a quick glance at her timetable for the day, Sehun nodded and she grinned. "Hello Sehun, I'm doctor Kim, Mi Kyong"

Sehun watched her closely as she introduced herself. He watched as her eyes focused on him and her hands held a pencil on her lap. She seemed to flip it around as she spoke. 

"If you don't mind, please, explain to me what crime you committed" she said gently,

Sehun sighed. He knew he had to do as she said but it didn't mean he wanted to, "Well, Doctor Kim, I was part of the mafia but I'm in here for attempted man slaughter" 

She watched as Sehun spoke, "Attempted manslaughter and I'm presuming murder, due to the mafia situation?" She asked as she wrote down what he said, Sehun nodded as she scribbled on her notepad. "Okay, are you aware of your reasoning for the attempted manslaughter?"

Sehun nodded. "Do you care to elaborate?" 

"I tried to beat someone to death based on the, wrong by the way, assumption that they were gay" he said quietly. The doctor looked at him, slightly shocked by his explanation, but continued to write it down on the leather notepad she was given.

"Well that gives us a topic of our first session doesn't it?" She said with a smile, "please, Sehun, share with me. Why did you try to beat someone to death based on their sexual orientation?" 

"I didn't! Turns out they were straight and I was beating up some girls husband for no reason" 

"Well at least you have some morals, but anyway my question still stands. Why because you thought they were gay?"

"Gay people are wrong and disgusting and will burn in gods eyes" Sehun said, proudly quoting one of the mafia leaders,

"I wasn't aware you were religious" Doctor Kim said quietly as she wrote down what he said,

"I'm not" Sehun admitted, "it's just what I was taught?"

"You were taught that being gay was wrong?" She pressed, Sehun nodded,

"I joined the mafia when I was 8 years old. I was took up off the streets by one of the leaders after I ran away from an orphanage. They taught me what they knew and how to be an acceptable mafia agent" he said proudly, "one day I wanted attention to I started talking to someone. I didn't know anything about what I was doing but I was beat for it. After that I knew what I did was wrong and never did it again"

"What did you do?" She asked after writing down some more notes. Sehun paused, not wanting to admit it. "Come on, what stays in these walls stays between us. Don't worry" she assured him.

"I kissed a boy" Sehun said after a long, awkward pause.

"You kissed a boy? That was it? When you were 10?" Sehun nodded, "that's awful" 

Sehun shrugged, "I know what I did was wrong and I never did it again" he lied,

the doctor nodded, "I see. Sehun by any chance is there something you're not telling yourself? Something about your personality that you're not opening up?"

Sehun glared at her, "I'm! Not! Gay!"

_"Why is it bad?" Sehun asked as the silent boy sat across from him, stroking the palm on his hand. The boy shrugged, "I don't see why it's bad" he said again and the boy looked up at him. "I mean come on! I've never been loved in my life, my father left, my mother died, I'd accept love off of anyone no matter their gender!" He announced to the boy quietly. The boy smiled at him and tucked a small lock of hair behind Sehun's ear._

_"If being gay, which is two boys, is wrong does that mean it's wrong for girls?" Sehun asked and the boy shrugged, "hm.. Well I see one of the older men watching two girls on a laptop, they do weird things to each other"_

_The boy cracked a smile and so did Sehun._

_"Sometimes I wonder what i'll be like when I grow up, you know? Maybe I'll be famous! Or gay! Gay and famous!" He said and laughed. "But seriously, I don't care what the older men say! If two boys want to love each other then they can!" The boy smiled at Sehun. They had only been friends a few weeks but their friendship was strong. "Are you gay?" Sehun asked, tilting his head while looking at the boy. The boy looked down, ashamed to answer his question. Sehun smiled, "that's okay! You're cool which means gays are cool! I promise as long as you're around I'll always accept gays! And girls!" He said with a smile as the two exchanged a promise._

**XxX**

Eventually the long session was over and Sehun was able to make his way back to the group. He passed Jongin in the corridor,

"Good luck" Sehun said as they passed, Jongin smiled and walked off.

"Sehun!" Baekhyun called as he walked through the archway into the common room. Baekhyun ran over to him and practically dragged him back over to the sofa's. 

"How did it go?!" Baekhyun demanded, 

"It was bloody hell, they kept questioning me and shit it was so creepy" he said,

"who did you have?" Chanyeol asked,

"Doctor Mi Kyong Kim" Sehun said as he sat back down,

"don't know her, I guess they've brought some new people in" he said as he turned back to talk to Kyungsoo, or regain the upper hand in the argument they were having. 

"Something really weird happened though" Sehun said, catching everyones attention. "She said I was gay" 

**XxX**

"You will never guess the audacity that bitch had!" Jongin shouted from across the room as he made his way back after his session. This caught Sehun off guard as he'd never once heard Jongin shout.

"She had! The fucking audacity! To say me and Jongdae's relationship was dysfunctional!" he shouted as he got across the room to where everyone was sat,

"no way, really?" Jongdae piped up,

"yep! Apparently that's why we stole shit! Like hello! No! We stole shit because we grew up with nothing!" 

"I am so glad I'm in a different room" Joonmyun said quietly, 

"Yeah well I'm not! Was she nicer on you, Sehun?" Jongin asked,

"She called me gay" Sehun said while shrugging.

"The audacity of this woman! Fuck!" Jongin cursed as she sat down angrily on the arm chair,

"say audacity one more time and I'm throwing you back in there" Kyungsoo threatened. Jongin turned to look at Kyungsoo

"Audacity" Jongin said and grinned.

Suddenly Kyungsoo was up and running full speed towards Jongin who tried to escape but ended up throwing himself off the arm chair and onto the floor before scurrying away as Kyungsoo chased him. Sehun almost laughed at the two but managed to catch himself and settled with a small smile instead,

"He just likes to complain" Baekhyun informed Sehun who was still watching the two,

"I see that" 

"If Kyungsoo catches him we'll never hear the end of it" Chanyeol said and then looked at Jongdae questionably,

"I stole a pair of earmuffs" Jongdae said and laughed.

* * *

 

**Thank you so much for reading! This took me way longer to write than usual because I was playing chess on messenger and tbh I don't even care it was fun.**

 

 


	12. Included

**It's spring which means most people can't see or stop sneezing due to pollen etc, I don't have this allergy but damn do my eyes itch and my nose not work properly which sucks**

**edit: This update has taken me a few days to complete due to personal issues and the fact I cut my hand open (don't worry it's not too serious it just bled a lot)**

* * *

 

It was late into the night, the room was filled with darkness, and Sehun lay on his back, eyes pealed open, as he stared at the ceiling. Sleep never comes easy to those who've killed. Sleep never comes easy to those who can't erase the events of the past day from their memory. Sleep never came easy to Sehun. The nights were often lonely to Sehun who spent a large amount of time awake, he wouldn't wish for another person to share those nights with but he would often wish for something to fill the silence other than his own thoughts. He would remember being told that man could often go mad from his own thoughts. Sehun never believed the stories the mafia men would tell, but as he lay alone in the dark surrounded by nothing but his own subconscious he started to believe the things he grew up being told. A shuffle used to do the trick. A brief amount of noise to bring him to reality. To stop him surrendering to his mind completely. Maybe this was the reason people feared prison. Maybe they feared themselves, and being locked away from years on end they would have to face themselves one way or another. Sehun turned to face the cold wall to his right. He wondered how many men went insane from staring at the same colored walls for days and years on end until their final demise. Would he ever be the same once he was released? Or would he simply die in his own solitary? Sehun grew up surrounded by the faint noise of other people, other men, other women. Solitary was a word Sehun had never experiences, not until now. Not until the long nights in the prison where he stayed alone until exhaustion took him through the night. Even when he finally fell into a slumber his dreams were all but pleasant. Nightmares would shake him awake, sweat drenching him as he awoke. Sehun wondered if he would ever come to fear the time the sun went down and the moon came out along with all the horrors that are bedded deep within his mind, deep within everyone's mind. He wondered how long it would take before his own noise wasn't enough to drown out the screaming. All the screams of those he had embedded a dagger deep into. He would always remember the smell of blood, the stench of death itself.

A noise stirred him from his thoughts. A noise that didn't belong to him. A noise he wasn't used to hearing deep into the hours of the night. The noise was the door to him, slowly being creaked open. Fear started to fill Sehun's body, finding its way deep into his core. Panic arose inside of him, spreading through his veins causing his body to shake. He heard slow footsteps sneak their way over to where he lay, eyes shut tight to avoid seeing his attacker. Sehun couldn't bring himself to open his eyes, he was too afraid of seeing another familiar face who wished to see him in pain. He was able to hear the intruders breathing, it sent chills down his spine. There was someone in his room, someone who wanted to hurt him. He didn't know how, he'd been hurt by too many different people in too many different ways to be able to think straight in this situation. Time seemed to go slowly. Sehun felt like he held his breath for hours as his heart pounded aggressively against his ribs. Every second that went by caused the anxiety building in Sehun's stomach to erupt like a volcano and spread further around his body. Eventually, after feeling as is years passed, the intruder reached out and placed a hand firmly on Sehun's shoulder. Fear exploded inside of Sehun and his eyes shot open, his body entering his fight or flight instinct only to completely die out when his eyes met with the same familiar eyes of his possible friend. His intruder was Baekhyun. 

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to wake you!" Baekhyun blurted out as he knelt on the floor next to the bed,

"No it's okay you didn't wake me, although you terrified me" Sehun whispered,

"that's not any better!" Baekhyun whined out. 

Sehun looked down at Baekhyun and then at the clock that was positioned slightly out of reach on the wall, "it's pretty late" he said as the clock read 20 minutes past 3 in the morning, "are you okay? What did you need?"

"I just wanted to invite you to a little event" Baekhyun admitted,

"event? At this time?" Sehun asked, a little confused,

"Yeah. We often sneak out and stay in Minseok and Kyungsoo's room once a week, he spent five years of his commissary money on a dvd player"

"I'll sit this one out" Sehun said, slightly saddened as the human contact seemed appealing until he found out it was including Minseok.

 "It's because of Minseok isn't it?" Baekhyun asked,

"What? No!" Sehun lied,

"yes it is, I know you by now, you have something against him"

"He's gay" Sehun admitted,

"I'm gay, but you stand me" 

"It's not the same!" Sehun whined,

"how?" Baekhyun questioned, "we both have the same sexuality, I'm even in a relationship"

"I don't know okay! I want to hate you like everyone else but..." Sehun trailed off,

"I'm touched, really, but Minseok isn't going to hit on you if that's what you're scared of" 

"No it's not that... He was an asshole, you weren't so..."

"So you can overlook your views?" Baekhyun finished,

"I guess" 

"Please, Sehun? Give him a chance, he's a really nice person and hell he's protected you from so many people already! Can you come along? For me? If you don't like it then you don't have to come any other week but please? They're all waiting for you" Baekhyun pleaded,

"they're waiting for me?"

"Yes! It wasn't even me who suggested bringing you, no offence"

"None taken" Sehun said with a little smile, "but who did?"

"Jongdae, he thinks you're pretty cool. And Chanyeol, he thinks you're funny" 

"Is that good?" Sehun asked,

"No clue, we still don't get Chanyeol. But will you come?"

Sehun took a deep breath. He knew he was going to regret this. "Okay. I'll come along."

**XxX**

After successfully sneaking along the corridor Baekhyun walked into Minseoks room, followed by Sehun. Sehun was instantly taken back from what he saw inside. There was a fake fur rug on the floor and a small tv with a dvd player underneath. The beds had blankets and nicer covers on them complimented by some pictures on the wall and an abundance of pillows flung around the room. There was an armchair in the corner facing the tv and Jongin and Jongdae were happily snuggled up on it with a blanket over them both. Minseok was sat on his bed, Kyungsoo on his with Chanyeol sat on the floor leaning against Kyungsoo's bed. The floor was covered with blankets took from beds and pillows from other rooms. Yixing was lying on a mountain of blankets sprawled out, mostly saving a space for Baekhyun and Joonmyun was sat against Minseok's bed with a pillow and blanket of his own. The room looked like a university room not a prison. There was a small coffee table against the wall overrun with snacks and soft drinks to wash them down.

"Welcome to paradise!" Chanyeol called out when he noticed that Sehun had entered,

"He came!" Jongdae shouted, obviously surprised. 

Sehun gave a small smile before following Baekhyun to a space on the floor. 

Minseok eventually started playing a movie he had rented from the library once a few jokes had been shared. While the group was unaware of the movies name it seemed to be a comedy and at some parts had most of them almost in tears from laughter. Snacks were shared among the group and were often passed over to Sehun who was still sat on the far end of Baekhyun. Minseok was too focused on the movie to talk to anyone but on some occasions Chanyeol kept starting a conversation with Sehun about anything that happened in the movie. Joonmyun, much like Minseok, was silent and more focused on distributing the snacks as on more than one occasion Jongin ate them all himself. Luckily for Joonmyun, Jongin and Jongdae had fallen asleep curled up on the chair before the snacks had even been opened. Baekhyun and Yixing were laying on the floor in each others arms while watching the movie silently, but Baekhyun made sure to talk to Sehun every time there was an awkward silence to make sure he felt involved and invited. As much as Sehun didn't want to admit it he enjoyed watching the movie and also enjoyed spending time with a reasonably large group of people. During the hour and a half of the movie Minseok was silent and deep within Sehun, never going to admit it, there was a string of happiness that they were around each other. Sehun knew he didn't mind being around Minseok when he was being his usual obnoxious self, but that was rare so as far as Sehun was concerned he always hated him and never wanted to be around Minseok. 

It was around half 4 in the morning when someone walked into the room and Sehun jumped a mile. The group turned to face the door and in the dark hallway stood a tall and angry looking guard. Panic arose quickly in Sehun when the guard entered.

"Will you all shut up?" The guard said in a harsh whisper,

"Sorry, it's a funny movie" Chanyeol replied. Sehun was as terrified as he was confused. He was certain he wasn't meant to be in here, especially this late.

The guard closed the door after stepping fully into the room and Sehun prepared himself for a punishment, "You can't do this if you're going to make a lot of noise" the gyard said again,

"oh fuck off" Chanyeol said and laughed, Sehun almost felt himself gasp, he was going to get literally killed for that.

The guard looked around the room and spied an open packet of crisps sat ignored on Kyungsoo's bed, he reached and grabbed one,

"get your own food!" Chanyeol shouted as Kyungsoo leaned over to slap him.

"Anything you need?" The guard asked, looking over at Minseok,

"they're gonna stay here tonight, wake us up before the first buzzer so we can get them back to their rooms" Minseok said as the guard nodded. The guard reached over to the coffee table and grabbed a packet of doritos and said,

"payment" before walking out the door.

Sehun was looking around at everyone drastically, completely confused and still incredibly afraid.

"That's Terry" Baekhyun said, "all prisons have a terry"

"A terry?" Sehun replied, quietly,

"a guard who likes a group of prisoners and that comes with perks, like being able to do this" Baekhyun replied,

"Oh..." Sehun said before looking down,

"Terry knows you, so be nice to Terry and he'll be nice to you" 

Sehun nodded and rethought it over in his head.

"We should get some sleep though, we'll be woken up in a few hours" Minseok said and everyone agreed. The next few moments were filled with shuffling and the occasional cursing before everyone seemed to be comfortable in their own space with their own blankets. Eventually Minseok turned out the light and the room was filled with darkness.

**XxX**

Sehun woke up an hour later. It wasn't yet time for 'Terry' to come and get them so he sat up and allowed his eyes to adjust to the darkness. Everyone was in the same place when he fell asleep, all but one. Chanyeol was no longer curled up on the floor between Minseok and Kyungsoo's bed. Sehun looked around before he found him. Chanyeol was in Kyungsoo's bed being a little spoon, while Kyungsoo had an arm over him.

"I didn't know they were together... Cute" Sehun said quietly to himself. A few moments later he realized what he said and instantly lay back down and pulled a cover over his head. He didn't know why he said that, they were obviously gay and that was wrong. He would blame it on the sleep deprivation. The sleep deprivation he never suffered from. 

* * *

 

**Thanks for reading! Sorry if it's a bit short I'm not feeling good but I really wanted to get a chapter out for you guys!**


	13. What lies beneath

**Chapter warnings: innuendo's, violence, sad pasts, homophobia**

* * *

 

Morning came faster than everyone had imagined, and by morning they meant the time Terry came to escort them back to their dorms. Terry had entered loudly, but not loudly enough to take anyone else or alert the guards. Sehun awoke the moment the door opened and gave a small, half asleep smile to the guard before turning to look around at the floor littered with bodies. Sehun turned to look back at the beds and saw Chanyeol back on the floor between them. Sehun looked at the man questionably before wondering if he was dreaming when he saw Kyungsoo spooning Chanyeol. It was when Sehun looked at the side of Kyungsoo's bed did he realize he hadn't been dreaming. The cover was drawn as if someone had removed themselves from the bed but didn't cover the tracks fully. Sehun smirked to himself, he doubted anyone else would have noticed. He also doubted anyone else knew of their possible relationship due to the way Chanyeol waited until everyone was asleep to sneak into Kyungsoo's bed, and left it before Terry came back in. Sehun liked that fact, he had something up his sleeve encase Chanyeol tried anything. Sehun stood up and almost tripped over a pillow while helping Terry wake everyone up who wasn't originally in the room. 

A short while later everyone was safely back in their dorms, ready for the morning buzzer to make its daily loud noise to alert the prisoners that it was time to wake up. By the time Sehun had gotten back into his room he was already awake which meant there was no chance of him falling back asleep. Sehun looked over at the clock, it was 6 in the morning which meant official wake up was in an hour hut he was allowed out his dorm if he really wanted. Sehun learned that lockup was from 10 until 6, the extra hour before official wake up was treated as an extra free time slot for those who had natural early body clocks, like Sehun. It was also for those who worked in the kitchen for breakfast. Sehun decided sitting in the quiet common room would be better for his well-being than sitting in a plain room with the same colored walls designed to make him go mad. 

Sehun exited his room and made his way to the common room only to find a small portion of the group already there. Baekhyun, Yixing and Chanyeol. When Baekhyun spotted Sehun he waved him over enthusiastically. Sehun walked over to join them, 

"can't sleep either?" Sehun asked while he sat on the floor,

"No, just if Yixing goes back to sleep he won't wake up for breakfast" Baekhyun said and laughed, "Chanyeol always comes here, not sure why"

"It's quiet, well used to be" Chanyeol said,

"I'm sorry. I can go if you want" Sehun said quietly and Chanyeol laughed,

"it's not you, it's these two they're loud as hell" 

**XxX**

An hour passed before the rest of the group sauntered into the common room and fell down onto the sofa with a thud. Exhaustion seemed to ooze out of them as they tried their hardest to fall back asleep. Minseok was the only one in the group who appeared to be some-what awake due to how he sat calmly on the floor. 

"We have that group session today" Minseok said with a sigh,

"Oh yeah" Kyungsoo said between yawns, "don't we need a group of nine?"

"Yeah but I signed all of us up in one group, hope you guys don't mind. Mainly because it's too late now" Minseok said with a shrug.

"Do you think there's a way I can go in by myself?" Sehun asked quietly, desperately not wanting to talk to Minseok but he seemed to be the only person who had a clue what was going on, 

"What do you mean?" Minseok asked, turning to look at him, 

"well uh..." Sehun felt himself tense up, "I don't have a group"

"Yes you do?" Minseok said slowly, "Me, one, Kyungsoo, two, Jongin and Jongdae, three and four, Baekhyun and Yixing, five and six, Joonmyun, seven, Chanyeol, eight, and you as nine" 

"I'm involved?" Sehun asked, half expecting it to be a giant joke,

"duh, that's what I said" Minseok replied.

It was surreal to Sehun. If Baekhyun was in charge of the groups he would have expected to be included, but Minseok? Sehun didn't even know if Minseok liked him. Sure he went out of his way to save him every time he got himself in some stupid situation, but that could be pity. Sehun would often pity the younger or weaker recruits when he was in the mafia, could this be the same thing? Sehun couldn't imagine becoming friends with Minseok, right? He was irritating and had a stupid face but... There was something else. There was something hidden about Minseok, something he wasn't letting anyone see. It interested Sehun a lot, a small part of him wanted to know what Minseok was hiding. Sehun had a feeling it was something bad, something negative. The way the pain seemed to fill his eyes that day he threatened Yifan for Minseok. The way his eyes reflected the most traumatic experience. Sehun wanted to know what had happened to Minseok, what happened to make him pity someone like himself. It was something that bred the strongest curiosity Sehun had ever felt. 

**XxX**

Breakfast flew by and soon enough it was time for their group session. The group of nine headed down the long maze of corridors until they found the correct room. Inside the door was a large white room with a few chairs set out in a circle and a woman sat on one of them. The same woman Sehun had for his one on one sessions. The group walked inside and the woman stood up to introduce herself, 

"Hello everyone! I'm Doctor Mi Kyong, but call me Kim" she said as she looked around and spotted Sehun, "ah Sehun! I was wondering when I'd meet you and your group!" 

"You know this woman?" Baekhyun whispered to Sehun, 

"yeah, she's the one I get for the personal sessions" Sehun whispered back and Baekhyun nodded,

"Please! Sit down and we'll get our session started!" 

After everyone sat down in their seat the psychiatrist started speaking, "for our first session we are all going to take times talking about the reasoning behind the crime we committed, everyone understand?" Everyone nodded, "okay, you first!" She said pointing towards Chanyeol.

_Chanyeol opened the door to the small rundown house he called home. The house was cluttered and dirty, filled with old cheap furniture and cracked dishes and cups. Chanyeol looked around the house and sighed before heading across the one floor house to his bedroom. Chanyeol looked in the cracked mirror that was pushed to the corner of the room, he was thin and his hair was dirty. His mother couldn't afford hot water or new clothes. Chanyeol sighed at his appearance. He looked like he lived how he did. The pants he wore were too short for him, but also too big. The weight he'd lost had taken a giant toll on his body. It was rare he could afford food which meant he often went days without eating. Chanyeol looked down and pulled a bag of money out of his pocket. He smirked at the mirror as he remembered how successful his first time at being a con artist was. If he kept going like this he would be able to buy food for his mother, for once he wouldn't be a burden on her._

After Chanyeol finished explaining his reason sehun felt a pinch of sorrow for him. He truly did suffer. Next was Minseok,

"because my father deserved it" Minseok said, not going into half as much detail as Chanyeol. Minseok refused to look at anyone after giving his answer and simply turned his head in the direction of Baekhyun.

_Baekhyun waited for Yixing in their secret spot deep within the forests near both of their houses. Soon enough Yixing showed up and sat next to him at the bottom of a treetrunk. Yixing pulled Baekhyun closer and allowed Baekhyun to cry into his side. Yixing held tightly onto his boyfriend but soon felt the tears start to leak out of his own eyes. Both he and Baekhyun had came out as gay to their families, and both of them had been denied. Every day for the past year they both had been harassed and shouted at and called names by their family. Baekhyun had developed depression and started to smile less, even around Yixing, while Yixing stopped going home, days at a time. It didn't matter how long he stayed out everytime he went back home he was told to go back out. The two had contemplated running away for months but didn't have a clue where to go from there. That was until Yixing accidentally made a connection with a drug dealer a few hours away. Both Baekhyun and Yixing sat against the stump for hours, they didn't even move when it started to rain. It would be the last time either of them visited that stump._

Sehun felt pain deep within his chest when Baekhyun told his shared story. It was hard to believe that Baekhyun, the one who always smiled, used to be depressed for something he couldn't change. It was then when Sehun realized what he was doing. He was doing everything Baekhyun's parents were doing only to different people. It was then did Sehun realize that he needed to change, at least around Baekhyun and his friends. That didn't matter at this point, next up was Jongin and Jongdae.

"We were homeless, not much else to it really. Sorry for the disappointment" Jongin said, admitting there was nothing else to their reasoning for stealing.

"Much like how I was just bored, I practically wandered into the hacking business" Joonmyun said and laughed. Next up was Kyungsoo, deep down Sehun hoped it was a long story because after that it was him.  

_"What's the matter Kyungsoo? Scared?" One of the school bullies laughed and pulled at his shirt, "this really is an ugly shirt!"_

_Kyungsoo sat on the floor in the middle of a group that wouldn't stop taunting him. Every day was the same, he would go to school, get beat up, get his money stolen and get laughed at. No matter how hard he tried it wouldn't stop. Kyungsoo was a small child, he was weak and wasn't very threatening. He was the perfect prey for boys that needed to get their insecurities out one way or another. Kyungsoo was a punching bag for them. They were the reason Kyungsoo would go home at night with bruises and tell his parents he fell. They were the reason Kyungsoo would lose sleep because he was crying too much. They were the reason Kyungsoo was miserable. But one day he would make them pay. One day Kyungsoo would be the most powerful and famous man in the world and all the people that said shit to him would be jealous and feel bad. This wasn't a dream for Kyungsoo, or a wish, because he both dreamed and wished the bullying would stop and it didn't. Kyungsoo didn't believe in wishes or dreams anymore, but he did believe in goals and willpower. This was a goal, an aspiration. Something Kyungsoo would achieve one day and he would make sure to rub it in everyone's face the moment he achieved it. He wouldn't give up on this goal._

"You seriously kept that dream for god knows how many years?" Chanyeol asked, slightly amazed at Kyungsoo's patience, 

"Yes I did, it was all I could think of growing up" Kyungsoo admitted.

"Why didn't you just punch them back?" Yixing asked slowly,

"I don't punch people, I get people to do the punching" 

"Yeah well you certainly don't hold back from punching when we-!" Chanyeol was interupted when Kyungsoo flung himself off the chair and punched him square in the face,

"watch what you say" Kyungsoo growled at him,

"Chanyeol has a point" Minseok says with a smirk on his face at how quickly Kyungsoo sprung to his feet.

Eventually everyone went silent. Sehun knew what that meant. It was his turn, and his story was way more embarrassing.

"Come on Sehun, how bad can it be?" Chanyeol said, holding his nose and failing to stop the blood. Kyungsoo nodded at Sehun, his silent way of saying 'it's okay' while he was holding Chanyeol's face back and holding his nose to calm his nose bleed down.

"I think you broke it" Chanyeol whined,

"shut up, you can see if I broke it after it's Sehun's turn and then we'll all get the hell out of this damn room" Kyungsoo hissed again.

All eyes were on Sehun. He took a deep breath,

"When I first joined the mafia I kissed a boy and was beat for it."

* * *

 

**Hope you enjoyed!**


	14. Threats

**Woo new chapter !!**

**following morning edit: turns out I wrote wrong names so well done me! Changed it now though**

**Chapter warnings: bad language**

* * *

 

_Sehun turned to look at the boy. He was amazing, he couldn't talk yet here he was, with him, walking down an old stone path on their way to do some assignment from their boss. The boy had balls, Sehun will give him that. The sun was high in the sky and seemed to shine off of the boys skin, lighting it up making him appear even more beautiful. His hair flowed slightly in the wind and his eyes gleamed with excitement. The day was bright, but did it ever stay like that? Sehun had been in the business for a long time, the sky never stayed blue and the sun never stayed out. Nobody stayed alive. In a few hours it was almost the time for the sun to go away, time for the moon to shine. The moon brought bad luck in their business. Those who continued walking after dark were doomed, but did Sehun listen? Of course not. Why stay next to a fire, their own part of the sun, or in a bed and breakfast and sleep on a comfy bed when they can continue walking into the dead of night and play with the demons that came out. Their journey would be a lot less interesting if only Sehun had listened, but when does Sehun listen? Sehun continued walking, the boy at his heels. They were comforted with silence, but when do things like that last? Suddenly the all familiar sound of a grenades clip being pulled could be heard from somewhere behind the boy. It was at that moment when Sehun spotted the flying object just above the boy's head. Sehun made a split second decision. Split second decisions are weird. An entire action that could cause life or death for anyone made without even thinking. It's an instinct. Something people do just because it feels right, or because they've wanted to do it for a while. People often find themselves saying that they would jump in front of a bullet for their friend, or a bomb, or a car, but how many of those people actually get that chance? Surely it's a bad thing to wish upon someone, but sometimes Sehun would find himself wondering how many people would actually go through with that. He thought about it a lot after his split second decision. Most would call it heroic, Sehun however, would call it plain stupidity. Sehun grabbed the boy by the shoulders and pushed him as hard as he could out of the way. The boy was able to be pushed to safety, into a shop that they had just passed moments before. Sehun wasn't. Sehun felt the blow. Sehun got hit. Sehun felt the agony. The bomb hit the floor, quite a distance from where Sehun had estimated it to hit, and exploded. Houses and shops were hit and so was Sehun. The impact wasn't enough to kill him, but it hurt him a lot. Sehun looked down at his leg, is was bleeding and he couldn't move it. There was smoke and screaming everywhere. And there was the boy. He was so precious, peaceful and gentle. He looked pained. Sehun wondered why he looked sad, and then he remembered. Sehun looked back down at his leg, he had forgotten all about it. Was he going to die? How bad was the hit? Would he lose his leg? Questions raced peacefully through his mind. They didn't stop coming but they weren't quick about it, they were soft and quiet. He thought about each question before the next one came. Sehun looked at the boy and shock spread through his veins. The boy's face started to appear deformed and broken, the longer Sehun looked the more the deformities became obvious. "What did they do to you..." Sehun mumbled out before everything went black._

Sehun sat up with a jolt. He looked around the room. He was still in the same prison, in the same empty room. Sehun ran a hand through his hair, it was sticky with sweat. It wasn't long before Sehun realized how drenched in sweat he was and how fast his heart was pounding. Another nightmare. Another nightmare about the boy. After quickly deciding a shower was in order, Sehun swung his legs over his bed and headed out of his room to the showers. Sehun was still classed as a new kid, that meant he still had the joys of having his own shower block although he avoided it as much as possible after the incident with Yifan. Sehun soon reached the showers and stripped off. It was early in the morning meaning nobody was in the showers and it was still quiet, which Sehun appreciated. Sehun stepped under the warm spray of water and looked down at his body. His chest was toned and he knew overall he looked decent, but there was still something about him. Sehun glanced down further until he saw the large white scar that ran up his left leg. He sighed and thought back to his dream. He often dreamed of that day, the first time he jumped in front of a grenade, but sadly it wasn't his last. Apparently bad decisions was something he did a lot. The dream always ended differently though. This time the boys face seemed disfigured and deformed as if he was in a horrible accident. It was scary to remember, but the image burned need within his mind. Sehun looked back at his scar, it wasn't the only scar on his leg, but it was a scar from surgery. After that day he was taken to a hospital and the following day he was told he had serious nerve damage. Ever since that day he never felt pain in his left leg. In a way it was good, but it was always a constant reminder of that day, and a reminder that nobody would love him. Sehun had always had worries about his love life. He hoped one day to find a wife, but would she like the scars on his leg? Would she be disgusted? He didn't know and he was too scared to find out. What made this worse was now he was in prison, like he'd find anyone to live with after this.

After showering Sehun left the room and headed down to the common room. He was in another weird mood and didn't feel like talking to anyone but to his luck everyone was awake and already at their usual spot. He didn't want to draw attention to himself so he walked over to them, knowing that if he turned away someone would get suspicious. 

"Morning!" Baekhyun called when Sehun sat on the floor against the sofa,

"morning" Sehun mumbled desperately wishing to not have to engage himself in conversation, he wasn't in the mood. 

"You okay?" Baekhyun asked, already suspecting something was off,

"Yeah I'm fine I just had a really surreal dream that's all" Sehun said, hoping it would cause the topic to die down. He was right, it did die down. This one anyway. The minute Chanyeol realized Sehun was with them he was full of questions. 

"Did you really kiss a boy?" Chanyeol asked, moving to sit in front of Sehun like a child sitting in front of a teacher. Once the others heard the question their personal conversations quietened as they turned to see his answer. Sehun sighed, this is what he got for not wanting to talk about his dream. He gets to talk about the boy in his dream anyway.

"Yes, Chanyeol, I kissed a boy. Big deal" Sehun said, trying to dismiss it,

"really? Did you like it? Are you gay? But if you're gay why are you homophobic? Do you hate yourself?"

The questions just kept coming and Chanyeol didn't seem to be shutting up anytime soon, Sehun was stuck in the conversation now, it was too late.

"I was really young I didn't know what I was doing. No I'm not gay, and I'm not homophobic" Sehun said emphasizing on the homophobia part, "I'm just uncomfortable around it, that's all" 

"is that because you were beat for it?" Minseok asked, chirping in before Chanyeol could go on another question shouting match,

"I don't know it's just weird, okay? That's all, there's no secret meaning" 

"There so is!" Chanyeol shouted

"No there's not, I was experimenting!" Sehun whined,

"I experimented too, and now look at me" 

Off in the distance Kyungsoo snickered to himself, being the only person who wasn't caring about what Sehun had to say. Kyungsoo knew there was something non-straight about him and he would prove it. In fact, he just figured out how to. Kyungsoo walked over and sat next to Sehun, causing him to panic a little bit.

"Tell me about this boy, he seems to be of some value to you obviously" he said gently, looking at Sehun,

"there's nothing to tell..." Sehun trailed off, "he just had a nice face... and pretty lips... and gentle, caring eyes... and soft hair and..." Sehun stopped himself and looked up. Everyone was looking at him and grinning from ear to ear, what the fuck type of hole had he just dug himself into.

Kyungsoo stood back up and high-fived Chanyeol as he walked past. Minseok looked over at Baekhyun and mouthed something to him, Baekhyun shrugged in return. 

"You had a crush!" Chanyeol called out and jumped up from where he was sat, "you had a crush on a guy!" he shouted excitedly, "I knew you weren't straight!"

Sehun let himself fall onto the floor from where he was sat and happily dug his face into the rug. He wasn't gay and he knew that, sure he could appreciate an attractive person, like the boy, but he wasn't gay. Gay people are disgusting and go to hell. This was all Minseok's fault, if Minseok didn't write his name down on that stupid group thing then he wouldn't be in this situation. Stupid fucking Minseok. 

"I did not have a crush" Sehun growled as Chanyeol continued dancing around the small space,

"Oh?" Chanyeol asked, sitting back down, "then why did our group therapist say you were gay? And why did you describe someone in that way? You're a closet homo!" He shouted again. 

Sehun knew Chanyeol was just having fun but it pissed him off. 

"Listen here you little fucker" Sehun shouted, sitting upright and delivering a cold harsh glare to Chanyeol, "I know shit about you, and I know shit about someone else so if you care for your privacy do not come and invade mine" 

The colour drained from Chanyeol's face. Chanyeol knew that Sehun knew about him and Kyungsoo. Chanyeol knew that Sehun wouldn't keep it a secret. Chanyeol knew his entire love/sex life was on the line here. Chanyeol instantly shut up and sat back down on the rug,

"Sehun is not a closet homo" Chanyeol called out to the room again and looked at the floor, not making another sound. 

Joonmyun looked up the minute Sehun said this. He didn't move straight away but instead appeared deep in thought.

"Sehun, can I talk to you for a moment?" He finally said. Sehun nodded and the two walked away from the big group and into the hallway.

"You're not going to ask me if I'm gay are you?" Sehun asked quietly and Joonmyun smiled and shook his head,

"no, but it's the same topic. You see, I also know something about Chanyeol and someone else. I want to know if we know the same thing" Joonmyun said,

"No way I'm not telling, you might not know and either way it's still Chanyeol's private life it was just a threat" 

"Fine, I know something about Chanyeol and Kyungsoo, is that what you know?" Joonmyun asked, Sehun gave a small nod, "do you know about... What they are?" Sehun nodded again, "they're together, right?" Sehun nodded a final time.

"So you did know... Does anyone else know?" Sehun asked and Joonmyun shook his head,

"everyone else is dense as hell, but yes Chanyeol and Kyungsoo are boyfriends or at least fucking like rabbits either way" he said and shuddered,

"Are you okay?" Sehun asked,

"I share a room with Chanyeol, they're not quiet" Joonmyun said and Sehun looked at the floor.

"I'm so sorry"

"Don't be, I have a lot of dirt on them now" Joonmyun said and smiled, "did you know Chanyeol has a weird set of kinks?" Joonmyun asked and Sehun shook his head and laughed, "well pray you don't ever find out, but they know I know about them and they're practically holding me hostage not to tell anyone. Now you know, it's going to be good to be able to go to someone about all the shit I've had to put up with, you don't mind right?" Joonmyun asked,

"No it's okay" Sehun said quietly.

"I'm straight, by the way, encase you got a bit uncomfortable because everyone else is bent as hell" Joonmyun clarified, 

"well that's good" Sehun said and smiled, instantly feeling better. 

"What did you talk about?" Jongin asked once the two walked back in. Sehun shrugged and so did Joonmyun. Jongin rolled his eyes and turned back to Jongdae as the two regained their seats at the sofa's.

"So, Sehun-" Minseok started, it already pissed Sehun off. He had heard enough of his voice and it wasn't even breakfast, he really didn't want to listen to him anymore. It was then did he remember what Baekhyun had told him.

_"Please Sehun, just give Minseok a chance he's a really nice person when you get to know him"_

Baekhyun wasn't an idiot, and Sehun classed him as a friend at this point, so the most he could do was try and take his advice. Sehun turned to look at Minseok as he was talking. Minseok was telling the group, although it was directed at Sehun for whatever reason, a funny story about what he saw the other day. Sehun made sure to keep eye contact whenever his gaze turned to him, and made sure to listen to what he was saying. By the end of the story Sehun found himself laughing, even though he would admit the story wasn't that funny. Behind him, on the sofa's, Baekhyun watched the whole scene and gave a small smile to the back of Sehun's head. Maybe things would work out. 

**XxX**

"Minseok please, listen to yourself!" Baekhyun said. It was late that night and Kyungsoo was over with Yixing while Baekhyun and Minseok spoke. 

"Why? There's so much proof there!" Minseok whined,

"Okay! So he may be a little gay, but so what? You're going to scare the kid away from it all. He came into this place swearing about every gay man that walked the earth and now, literally a day before a month of his arrival he's actually warming up to some of us. Hell I'd even class me and him as friends and he knows I'm gay. He's changing please don't scare him away from it all" 

"I'm not trying to I'm just asking for advice"

"and my advice is to just be normal" Baekhyun pressed

"How? Have you seen him? He's fucking gorgeous, Baekhyun"

"and he hates you" Baekhyun said, raising an eyebrow,

"so what. He actually laughed today"

"you sound like a schoolgirl"

"And you don't? Whenever you talk about Yixing? How long have you two been together now?"

"Long enough but that doesn't matter, what matters is you're rushing into things. You did this ages ago, remember that straight guy? He broke your fucking heart, I can't see you go through this you're my friend" Baekhyun pleaded,

"I'm not trying to do anything though, I was just asking if I had a chance. I like him, he's feisty and cocky and isn't afraid to speak his mind, he's gorgeous and he's very gay, that's the first thing you said when you saw him" Minseok said,

"That he was feisty and gorgeous?"

"No, that he was gay" 

"That doesn't matter just please wait, let him at least become your friend first?" Baekhyun asked,

"I just want to know if I have a chance" 

Baekhyun sighed. Minseok was one of his best friends in this entire place which meant whenever Minseok was having his school girl moments, which was quite frequent for someone who beat two men to a bloody pulp and murdered someone, he went to him. He didn't want to upset Minseok but he didn't want him getting hurt. But this wasn't about that, this was about Minseok having a chance at a potential relationship with someone who is so homophobic they don't know that they themselves are gay. It sounded even crazier in his head. But then again, Baekhyun realized, if Sehun was so blinded by homophobia he didn't realize he was gay, then maybe he would be so blinded by hatred he didn't realize he could fall for Minseok. It sounded stupid as hell, but anything was good enough for Minseok. Baekhyun sighed again, maybe there was a chance, but Minseok would have to wait to find out.

* * *

 

**Thanks for reading !!**

 


	15. Shower time

**Just wanna say I love my best friend sm and I hope she's enjoying this story so far!**

**Chapter warnings: mentioned sex, scars and blow job references**

* * *

 

"What are you thinking about?" Baekhyun asked quietly, watching Minseok as he stared sadly at a book shelf. 

"Nothing" Minseok lied, he didn't move his head up and didn't avert his gaze. He didn't have the motivation. 

Minseok thought back to that first say he met Sehun, the first time he ever saw him. The boy looked terrified, but he was gorgeous. There was nothing Minseok wanted more than to walk over to him and welcome him, give him a group to be protected by and to call a family. That's not how their first meeting went, no that was too simple. Minseok had gained, some what, of a reputation over the year's he'd been in the prison, a reputation that only Baekhyun had ever managed to see through. This reputation made Minseok act like a complete asshole when all he wanted was to be friendly. A reputation that caused Sehun to hate him. A reputation that lead to a stupid crush that wouldn't ever become anything more. Over the course of the month Minseok often kicked himself internally for the feud he managed to create. He'd openly admitted to himself a few years ago that he would never fall in love again, not after someone broke his heart, not after he loved and trusted someone so much and they hurt him in inhumanly ways. Not after he became who he was now. It wasn't a choice to see Sehun in this weird way where every time he got flustered he was adorable, where every time he was staring off into space he appeared to be the most gorgeous person he'd ever met. It was overly frustrating for Minseok, who didn't know how to deal with stress or frustration correctly. Overly stressed by any situation including Sehun he resulted to either being aggressive, ignorant or overly flirty. Three things that caused Sehun's hatred of him to grow further. It was an overly annoying situation to be in, but Minseok didn't have a choice. If he even wanted to be friends with Sehun he would have to sort his shit out and that hasn't been something he as ever needed to do. 

"Minseok" Baekhyun said again, a little louder, "please"

"What?" Minseok asked slowly,

"what are you thinking about?" 

"Nothing, okay? Just leave it" Minseok said,

"Fine" Baekhyun said and sighed, "I'm going back to the common room, you coming?" 

"Might as well" Minseok said standing up and following Baekhyun out.

**XxX**

Minseok and Baekhyun got back in the common room in time to see everyone else walking in too. Judging from this Minseok had guessed it was around half 7. The group found their ways to their spots on the sofa and instantly engaged themselves in a small conversation. Eventually the conversation shifted after Joonmyun and Sehun hatched a small plan.

"You know how Chanyeol isn't going to make any jokes about you kissing a boy?" Joonmyun whispered,

"yeah? What about it?" Sehun asked quietly,

"maybe you should bring it up? See how he squirms because he knows he can't slip up" 

"I like it, it'll get him back for being a pain in the arse" Sehun said and grinned. "Hey Chanyeol" he started,

"mm?" Chanyeol mumbled, looking over at him,

"don't you have anything else to say? About me... Locking lips with another male?" 

Chanyeol's eyes flashed open as he realized what Sehun said. Multiple come backs sped through his mind as he began to sweat, contemplating what meant more to him. Kyungsoo or joking about. Chanyeol looked over to Kyungsoo and was met with an icy glare. Instantly turning back Sehun he looked at the floor and shook his head. Both Sehun and Joonmyun started laughing. 

"Was this all a plan?" Chanyeol shouted, looking up again. Sehun and Joonmyun nodded through their laughter as Chanyeol sunk down onto the chair and sighed.

"Hold on" Baekhyun suddenly said, causing everyone to stop what they were doing to turn and look at him, "Sehun how long have you been here?"

"about a month? Why?" Sehun asked, slightly confused as to why this was relevant,

Baekhyun grinned, "you have to go into the communal shower block now"

"Oh god... really?" Sehun asked and Baekhyun nodded.

"We all normally shower now, it's easier when it's not overly crowded, you coming along?" Baekhyun asked as Minseok shot him a glare from across the room.

"I guess so" Sehun said and sighed.

As the group all got up together and headed off to the showers so they could be clean for breakfast, Minseok pulled Baekhyun aside,

"what are you doing?" he hissed,

"protecting him, which is what you should be doing. He needs to shower with everyone else, better at our time than with a load of strangers" Baekhyun said and tried to walk past him,

"what about that thing! The thing we talk about? He will literally be naked" Minseok hissed again,

"better control yourself then big boy" Baekhyun said as he let his eyes flicker down then back up. Baekhyun winked and walked past him to catch up with everyone else. Minseok rested his head against the wall, considering whether or not skipping the shower was a good idea. It probably was, but Minseok didn't make very good ideas. He hurried to catch up with the rest of them. 

Once they reached the showers everyone but Sehun started stripping off. Sehun stood at the door, watching everyone. He quickly became nervous and almost wanted his clothes to stick to him so no matter what they couldn't be removed. Every issue Sehun had ever had with his body came rushing back to him as he looked at how perfect everyone else seemed. To make matters worse he remembered the first time he ever took a shower. That day with Yifan and Tao hurt him. The day.... Minseok saved him. With that one thought everything else seemed to leave his mind. Sehun focused on the bland memory of feeling arms around him, feeling himself being carried away. Feeling safe. Sehun scanned the area again and he spotted Minseok. He was facing Kyungsoo but it was still Minseok. Those strong arms and blue hair. Sehun knew deep down that if Minseok was here he would be okay.

"You alright?" Baekhyun said, walking over to him. 

"Yeah" Sehun said, making sure not to look down, "I'm coming" Sehun said as he took a deep breath and unzipped his jumpsuit and pulled his vest over his head exposing his toned chest. Sehun took one final deep breath and pushed out the remaining thought of his scar and stepped out of his jumpsuit and followed Baekhyun into the showers.  

Minseok turned around to say something to Yixing but his vision was met with a fully naked Sehun walking to a space while staring at the floor. Minseok tried to look away but his eyes were glued. Sehun had a perfectly toned chest, gorgeous arms and such a nice stomach. He had the most beautiful and equally sexy collar bones and had the perfect V on his stomach right where it's meant to be. Minseok looked at the floor, fearing what would happen if he stared any longer. It was then did he notice the scar. The only mark on Sehun's beautiful body. It spiked a curiosity deep inside him. What would happen if he asked? Would Sehun get upset and storm out? Would he even tell him? Should he even risk it?

"Sehun" Minseok asked, clearing his throat and instantly regretting starting the conversation.

"Yeah?" Sehun said, turning to face him. Sehun would be civil or at a push friendly during this showering time. He needed Minseok to be there. It was stupid and he was internally hitting himself for knowing that, but it was better than having a panic attack.  

"What happened to your leg? If you don't mind me asking" 

That was it. The question Sehun dreaded asking. He didn't want to answer it, he really didn't. Minseok could tell. The way his face instantly changed from a small smile to a saddened expression towards the floor. 

"Nevermind" Minseok said dismissing it, "stupid question" he smiled at Sehun and turned away.

It took Sehun off guard. He looked up at Minseok who was washing his hair. The water was dripping down his back and he looked quite funny as he tried to keep shampoo out of his eyes. Minseok had acknowledged that he was uncomfortable and dismissed his question, why? Why would he do that? Does he really value his private life that much? Sehun sighed,

"I was hit by a grenade. I have nerve damage and I can't feel anything in it anymore" Sehun said in a deep breath after Minseok had finished washing his hair. Minseok turned to look at him, his mouth slightly open which allowed water to drip inside. 

"Really?" Minseok asked, shocked that Sehun had even answered him. Sehun nodded and Minseok gave a small smile, "it's a battle wound, don't be ashamed of it. Looks good" he said and turned away. 

That was the only time Sehun would ever let himself feel good about a compliment said by Minseok. It was one of the things he disliked about himself, but he can admit that if a gay guy thought it looked good then he at least had a chance at getting a future wife. Sehun smiled to himself as he continued washing himself. 

"Honestly I thought you'd gotten kinky with someone and they stabbed you" Minseok said and winked at Sehun. Sehun knew it was a joke so he didn't take it too much to heart, but he did suddenly launch himself at Minseok who managed to dodge out the way causing Sehun to slip and fall on his ass in the middle of the shower. He started laughing as he looked up at Minseok who seemed to be trying his hardest to keep his cool. He wasn't very good at it. Chanyeol looked over at him, 

"I'd get up if I were you" Chanyeol said slyly, 

"Why?" Sehun asked, looking at him

"perfect blow job height" Chanyeol said and grinned.

Sehun stood up and snatched the soap bar out of Minseok's hand and hurled it at Chanyeol, hitting him in the head causing him to stumble. 

"Ouch!" Chanyeol called out,

"serves you right" Sehun said and placed his hands on his hips as Minseok snorted.

"Wanna see how you pick up the soap?" Chanyeol asked,

"go on then" Sehun said, enjoying the good laugh he was having. Both Minseok and Sehun watched as Chanyeol 'seductively' bent over and picked up the soap before standing back up and doing a small bow. Sehun laughed and clapped as Joonmyun, who had been paying attention, watched as Kyungsoo shifted his gaze and then his whole position away from the situation. 

"He's slowly fitting in... I'm proud of him" Baekhyun said to Yixing as he watched Sehun bonding with the others,

"How do you manage to see the good in everyone?" Yixing asked as he pulled Baekhyun in for a kiss, not allowing him to answer. 

After the laughing died down and everyone got back to cleaning themselves Kyungsoo tapped Minseok on the shoulder,

"where's Jongin and Jongdae? Weren't they here before?" he asked, Minseok shrugged. Almost as if on queue, a faint moaning could be heard from somewhere in the shower block. Minseok and Kyungsoo locked eye contact before Minseok cleared his throat,

"Okay! Everyone out shower time is officially over!" he announced to everyone who started removing themselves from the block, 

"wait! I haven't finished rinsing my hair! There's still soap in it!" Sehun whined as he was gently pushed out by Minseok,

"Listen, if you're left alone in here with Jongin and Jongdae there will be a lot more than soap in your hair" Minseok said as he raised his eyebrow at Sehun as the faint moaning soon got louder, 

"Message received" Sehun said as he quickly got dressed and left the shower block with everyone other than Jongin and Jongdae. 

* * *

 

**Thank you for reading! Leave a comment if there is anything specific you would like to see in this story! I'll try and include some of you guy's ideas!**


	16. Future thoughts

**Hey everyone! Apologies for not updating this week I've been pretty sick again and it's exam season once more. To anyone sitting exams at the moment I wish you all the best of luck!**

* * *

Sehun woke up in a good mood, which was weird considering him being in a prison surrounded by gay men and annoying people. However, none the less, he felt pretty happy within himself when his eyes opened from his slumber. Sehun looked up at the clock on the wall, it was part of his routine at this point. Wake up, check time, common room, breakfast etc. Sehun liked living this way, it reminded him of his time in the mafia and although that may not be the most enjoyable part of his life at least it had order. A lot more order than this place anyway. It also had a lot more rules, a lot more punishments and a lot more miserable people. One of the things that still confused him about prison life is how happy everyone seemed to be, why were they happy? They had a sentence on them and were stuck in this miserable place until they were either shanked in their sleep or finally get out.

Sehun remembered horror stories about prison, people killing themselves in their cells, people gangraping in the showers, although that one Sehun knew was true, and just general misery. That's what he expected to see, when he went to prison, not groups of friends and the occasional fight. It threw him completely off. Sehun decided he would quickly get in the showers before they started to fill up and take the time to wash his hair before going to see everyone else. Sehun headed through the prison until he reached the showers. He considered how easy it would be to simply wash his hair without wetting the rest of his body. He switched the shower on and attemped to wiggle his body so his head was under the shower and his body was dry. Sehun soon realized shortly after, how much easier it would have been to shower properly instead of trying to bend his body in unnatural ways.

While focusing mostly on not slipping, Sehun found himself wondering if he would be able to shower on his own. The trauma was defiantly still there and so was the memories. Vivid images came back to him in a flood of regret. Sehun felt himself starting to panic as he realized that he was the only one in the bathroom, and how easy it would be for someone to attack him. Sehun felt his heart rate elevating as he quickly turned the shower off and hurridly ran out the room without even drying his hair. The water dripped down the back of his uniform as he quickly walked through the common room towards the group he had recently been following around. Sehun wasn't quite sure why he was making a beeline for them, he only knew a few of them and didn't like all of them that much. Was this really the place he felt the safest? Surrounded by gay men even though he knew how bad being gay was? Sehun felt too dizzy to even think about it anymore as he reached the sofa's.

"Hey you okay?" Baekhyun asked, standing up as Sehun waddled over.

"Yea-" Sehun tried to say as his legs gave way and he fell to the floor.

**XxX**

"Woah shit" Baekhyun shouted as he dropped to the floor and grabbed Sehun, "Sehun?! You okay?"

"He's unconscious you idiot he can't hear you" Chanyeol shouted as he, and the rest of the group, followed Baekhyun to the floor next to where Sehun lay.

"Did he faint?" Jongin asked quickly as he leaned over to check his breathing,

"I think so" Baekhyun said, "should we get someone?"

"I don't know?" Jongdae said, "I've never seen someone faint before!"

Suddenly Minseok came running towards them at full speed with a small woman who worked at the infirmary following him, "he just fainted when he got here" Minseok shouted back at her.

"When the hell did Minseok leave?" Chanyeol whispered to Yixing who shrugged.

The nurse crouched down on the floor and checked Sehuns breathing. Once she was content he was breathing okay she lifted his head slightly and felt around for lumps which would be a sign of a concussion. When she checked his heart beat she gasped and looked at the group,

"What happened to him? Did you see anything? His heart rate has elevated so much that its as if he was almost attacked"

Baekhyun shook his head as she lifted him up and walked out the room, followed by the group.

**XxX**

Sehun woke up a few hours later. When he opened his eyes he almost screamed, the whole group was sat around him watching him.

"He's awake!" Baekhyun called out as the nurse walked over and looked at him,

"Sehun. What were you thinking about before you got back here? Your brain was showing symptoms of attack, but nothing on the camera's shows anything" She said quickly,

"Nothing" he muttered, knowing he didn't want to say anything, "I just freaked myself out"

"Do you need me to prescribe you anything? Anxiety medication?" she asked calmly and Sehun shook his head,

"I don't have anxiety"

"PTSD? We could arrange some therapy sessions for you, you were in the mafia after all. Dirty business"

"No. I'm fine. Can I go? Please?"

"As you wish"

**XxX**

"You really freaked yourself out there, didn't you?" Chanyeol asked Sehun after they walked back to their sofa's.

"I guess so... It was an accident" Sehun mumbled,

"What were you thinking about? If you don't mind me asking" Baekhyun asked, looking over at Sehun who was sat on the floor tracing shapes on the wooden table,

"I uh.." Sehun mumbled to himself, "I just remembered something... It wasn't important"

"It's gotta be something" Baekhyun said gently, "it really freaked you out. Maybe we could help"

"Baekhyun's right" Kyungsoo said, "it'd be bad if this ate you up inside"

"Okay fine" Sehun said quietly, defeated, "I remembered what happened in the bathroom when I first got here" he said and looked down to avoid being stared at. "Can we talk about something else?" He asked quietly.

"Well, I've been thinking about something recently" Kyungsoo said,

"That's new" Chanyeol mumbled, managing to crack a small smile out of Sehun.

"We should be a criminal organisation" he said and grinned,

"Yeah smart" Minseok said, "we're already criminals, in PRISON may I remind you, but sure lets discuss our future criminal organisation surrounded by guards so they know who to look for"

"Let me dream, mom" he said and winked, "but anyway, I have a valid point we're not going to get any jobs after this, god knows where we'll all end up"

"Hate to pick sides but he has a point" Jongdae said, "we won't have anywhere to go, but at least this way we know we have somewhere waiting for us"

"Okay then, we'll bite, what's your plan?" Yixing asked,

"Well" Kyungsoo started, "Sehun! You were in the damn mafia, is there a gun you don't know how to shoot? And Minseok you can kill in cold blood. Jongin, Jongdae, you guys are the best thieves I know. Joonmyun you are amazing at computers and technology, you will be the best privacy we have and Chanyeol, I'll regret saying this but you're pretty good at using your brain. Most of the time anyway. And before anyone asks, I ran a whole criminal business anyway" He said and smiled.

The group went silent, thinking over his proposal.

"One problem" Baekhyun said, "we have different times"

"Oh shit yeah. That's a big mood ruiner" Kyungsoo said and sighed, "but either way, one day we'll find each other and so help me we will be the best crime organisation out there"

"And that means, I hope we're all in the same place next time around!" Koonmyun piped up and gained a laugh from the rest of the group.

Sehun turned his head to glance around the room but his eyes were drawn to someone with a familiar face. They looked like he knew them from somewhere, but he couldn't pinpoint from where. Sehun let himself stare, they didn't seem to notice him so it wouldn't be that much of a problem.

As Sehun wracked his brain, Minseok watched from on the sofa. Minseok was keeping by the rules Baekhyun had set him, but looking wouldn't hurt. Not like he cared if Baekhyun let him or not. 

* * *

**I'm really sorry about how short this is and that I haven't updated in a while. I've been sick and overrun with work but luckily I'm okay now so I'm gonna continue updating this! I hope you enjoyed!**


	17. Working world

**Hi so i'm crap at updating but thats bc im out of ideas for now bc idk what i wanna put. I have a basic timeline but im stuck for the filler chapters so PLS comment what you wanna see in this story!**

* * *

 

"What is going on?" Sehun asked as he looked around from the sofa he was sat at.

"I have no idea, something important probably" Beakhyun said as he watched one of the directors of the prison walk from table to table.

"It's gotta be important if that dude is there, he never shows up" Jongin piped in. 

Soon enough the director walked over to where the group was sat,

"I'm sure you're all wondering what is happening, well we have decided to include jobs now to help kickstart your lives if you get out" the director said and handed Minseok a list of names and different prison jobs before continuing his rounds around the common room.

"You have got to be kidding me" Minseok said and groaned, "we've never had to work, why the hell are we starting now" he sighed,

"because they get pleasure from torturing us" Kyungsoo said and grabbed the list off of Minseok. "These aren't that bad, I mean I'm in the kitchen with Jongin and Jongdae. Sehun you're in the library, that''ll be quiet, wait nevermind you're with Chanyeol I take it back" he said and smirked at the man who was sat on the floor. Chanyeol smacked his leg and shrugged at Sehun, "Yixing you're in the infirmary"

"Wait can they do that?" Yixing blurted out, "I didn't go to medical school" 

"You sold drugs shut up, Minseok you're on laundry and Joonmyun you're at commissary" Kyungsoo finished with a grin, "they start tomorrow so you'll be fine" 

"This is so shit" Jongin said, "I have no idea how to cook" he started to complain,

"I'd love to sit and rant with you guys, but I have therapy" Sehun said and waved bye to his small group and headed off down the hall.

**XxX**

Once Sehun entered the room that his session he was held in he walked in and sat down on one of the chairs. His therapist didn't budge from the report she was writing about her last session.

"Hello Sehun" Dr Kim said as she printed off the document and turned to look at him, "how are you?" 

"I've been better" he said honestly,

"what's the matter?"

"they've introduced jobs" 

"Oh yeah, where are you located?" The Dr asked,

"Library" 

"Well it could be worse, you get to stack books and mind your own business"

"I guess you're right"

"Okay well, today I want to talk about your past, your homophobia, whatever you want to call it"

Sehun groaned at this but nodded anyway.

"I have been looking at your reports and they say that symptoms of homophobia only started when you were around fourteen or something, they don't have distinct proof of the age" 

"I don't remember it either" Sehun said,

"Now, if we think back to our first session, we discussed why you were homophobic, and we found out that you kissed a boy and were beat for it" 

"Yes, and?"

"I think that this has programmed this entire belief that being gay is wrong, but it doesn't mean that what you are programmed to believe is correct"

"What do you mean?" Sehun asked,

"Well, a lot of children grow up believing in something but sometimes that is found out to be false and they have to spend a period of time working on correcting it" she said softly,

"this isn't the same thing though" Sehun said proudly, 

"do you really believe that? Because I believe that something has recently happened that you're not telling me about"

Sehun looked down in shame, he knew what she meant. Sehun's mind drifted back to the sleepover they had a while ago, the secret he found out, and his disgusting reaction.

"Sehun, would you mind telling me what's on your mind?"

"I can't"

"Why?"

"It will get people in trouble"

"No it won't, you have my word" She said and stuck out her pinky finger, Sehun looked at it before shaking it with his own.

"Okay. Fine" He took in a deep breath, "I spent the night in someone elses room, it was a whole group of us and I woke up early and saw two guys who I hang around and I think they're together and my first respond was cute and it's disgusting that I thought that I'm going to puke" Sehun said quickly. 

Dr Kim's eyes lit up, "I see, that is good well done Sehun"

"What's good about that?"

"You see, you are opening up to the idea that some people are gay" 

"No I'm not!" 

"Listen, what was your first thought?"

"I thought it was cute... But I wasn't thinking straight"

"Doesn't matter. What did you think after you'd thought about it?" She asked,

"It's disgusting" he mumbled,

"Do you see what this means?" She asked and Sehun shook his head, "your first thought was what you thought, your second was what you were told to believe"

"I don't get it" Sehun said looking down

"well it means that you're starting to think for yourself, that's good, Sehun"

"What else..."

"Well, studies show that people who are as homophobic as you are, are actually concealing homosexual feelings"

"That's not true!" He shouted,

"then why are you getting defensive?" She said and smirked, Sehun let himself slump down into his chair. "Now, if I remember rightly there was a man in your life once"

"a boy" Sehun corrected,

"Yes, what happened?"

"what we did was forbidden" Sehun said,

"Forbidden to you? Or forbidden to the mafia?"

"what?" Sehun asked, not sure how to answer.

"Was it forbidden when you did it?" she asked,

Sehun looked down and thought carefully about his answer before shaking his head in defeat, "but we were children"

"that's okay, now listen to be Sehun. I want you to remember everything you do that could be taken as 'gay' and come back to be during our next session alright?"

"what good will that do"

"It will help me help you see who you really are. Either by uncovering your homosexual feelings, or removing the homophobic ones" she said and smiled.

Sehun looked down and sighed. This was not how he was hoping for his day to go, he was hoping to have fun with his friends and maybe play a basketball game. His friends. His gay friends. Sehun waited for his stomach to turn like it used to, but it didn't. He thought again, harder on the fact that some of his friends were sucking lips with a man. Nothing happened, however, instead something worse did. Sehun felt himself feel something he hadn't felt in a long time. Loneliness. 

"Sehun? Are you okay?" Dr Kim asked, it was at this moment when Sehun broke down in tears. "Sehun! Here, come here it's okay" she said as she rubbed his shoulder and handed him a tissue. "Listen it's okay, I'm not sure what's going on but it's okay. What did you think about? Don't think just speak"

"Most of my friends have these boyfriends who they can go to and stuff and I'm just fucking alone!" He blurted out, his filter completely demolished by the sudden loneliness he was feeling,

"Is there anyone here you'd like to date?" Dr Kim asked, prying a little,

"I don't know I mean there's nobody by type" Sehun said through tears, "But I guess Minseok is pretty cute" 

When Sehun heard the words come out of his mouth he sat up instantly, the tears stopped and he stared at Dr Kim in complete shock. It was at this moment when it happened, Sehun coughed and accidentally threw up all over the office. He wasn't sure if it was the shock or the grief but the words kept echoing in his head.

_"But I guess Minseok is pretty cute"_

* * *

 

**Thank you for reading! I'm sorry about how short this chapter is I'm just dead for idea's rn but I promise I have a plan for chapter 19 and onwards so just comment what you would like to see in chapter 18!**


	18. A crack in the shell

**Hello my wonderful readers! I just wanna say I am rlly sorry about not updating for two months. I've been going through some things and have been really busy but I'm going to start writing again. I have a good few more ideas that will hopefully be appreciated by you all. I hope you've all been feeling good, I love you all.**

* * *

 

_"But I guess Minseok is pretty cute"_

 

Sehun woke up in the infirmary. He was flushed and his head was pounding. He glanced over to his left and saw an IV sticking out of his arm, his body tensed up at the idea of the needle lodged firmly in place. Sehun strained himself and tried to sit up but the pain was too much, he allowed his body to fall back into the bed he awoke from. All memories from yesterday were blurred, nothing made sense. He couldn't remember anything that happened, other than one simple sentence that continued to stick in his head. But that sentence wasn't true, right? He was obviously being manipulated by his therapist, Minseok wasn't  _cute_ and certainly wasn't a potential love interest. 

A quiet knock on the door broke Sehun of his daydream. 

"Come in" Sehun tried saying, however it came out as a quiet croak instead of a normal voice,

"hey" Baekhyun said gently as he popped his head around the door. Sehun gave him a slight smile as he managed to prop himself up on the bed. "You alright?"

"I don't know" Sehun said quietly, "I don't remember anything" 

"You were in one of your therapy sessions, something was said and you took pretty bad to it, you threw up all over the office and tried to run but fainted. You've been knocked out all day and night. The nurses said it was a mixture of shock and dehydration" Baekhyun said as he pulled up a chair next to the bed.

"Oh.." Sehun mumbled as he remembered his lack of water intake in the past few days. "Where's everyone else?"

"Work. I was never given a job, not sure why" he said.

"Oh! You're awake!" A familiar voice said. Sehun spun his head around to see Yixing holding a syringe with a weird liquid inside.

"Did you come to see me or him?" Sehun asked Baekhyun he rubbed his head awkwardly,

"Yixing, but then you were awake! We've all been visiting every hour though. The guy's will be happy to see you're awake" Baekhyun grinned.

"Yixing, if you don't mind me asking, why are you trusted with a syringe?" Sehun asked,

"I transported drugs, never used them. Not my thing really, unlike Baekhyun" 

"Hey!" Baekhyun whined, "I only used it once"

Sehun grinned at the two, but his smile soon faded when his memories, more importantly his emotions, started to come back. Loneliness. It seemed to almost overwhelm him straight away, a weight that pressed on his chest. Something that was constantly there, even if it was only suppressed, especially when he was around one of the many couples of the group. 

"You alright?" Baekhyun asked, placing a hand on Sehun's arm, looking into his eyes,

"Uh yeah I'm fine" Sehun mumbled and looked away.

"Don't lie, you can tell me" Baek said,

"how can I tell you if I don't even know myself?" Sehun asked, "everything just feels so heavy and I feel so god damn alone in this prison"

Baekhyun nodded, listening,

"but I don't know why I feel this way, I have you guys, but I don't at the same time"

"What do you mean?" Baekhyun asked,

"I don't know, I mean you have yixing. You have someone to love, I don't have that" 

"Do you want that?"

"Well yes of course, at one point in my life. I can't have it right now"

"Why not?" Baekhyun asked,

"there's no girls"

"Oh yeah, you're not gay. Sorry, it's easy to forget"

"It's fine" Sehun sighed, "I don't even know what I am or who I am anymore. Not in the senses of gay just in the sense of I'm so different in here, and I don't know if that's good or not" Sehun said, Baekhyun nodded, "I'm in here because I beat up someone who I thought was gay, yet here I am talking to some gay guy about my feelings. I have weird thoughts and your relationship doesn't bother me as much as it did and everything's changing and it's scaring me because what if everything I know and I've learned is wrong?"

"Is that really that bad?" Baekhyun asked, "I mean, say everything you thought was wrong, would you rather go your entire life not knowing the truth? Or would you rather die in a lie?" 

"I guess I see your point. It's just a lot to take in, the whole gay thing, and everything else"

"Yeah i see" Baekhyun said, "are you ever going to tell us about that boy?"

"I don't know... Maybe... When everything gets a bit clearer"

"I can live with that" Baekhyun said and smiled, "get some sleep, i'll come back later okay?" 

"Yeah okay" 

**XxX**

"Hey Yixing? I need you to run a test on this" a voice said, waking Sehun up. 

"Hey Minseok, what is it?" Yixing asked,

"No clue, found it in someones pants. Guards want me to find out what it is, and if its prescription or not" Minseok said, "Is Sehun awake?"

"Well obviously not right now, but yeah, he's been up" Yixing said, taking the drug from Minseok.

"How is he?"

"He's alright, can't remember what happened yesterday though. I have a report off his therapist though" 

"So you know what happened?" Minseok asked,

"Yeah I do, a lot more than Baekhyun does too"

"So is it true? That he said something that shocked him apparently to the bone and he threw up everywhere?"  Minseok asked,

"Yeah it's true" 

"Do you know what he said?"

"I do" Yixing said. Sehun's heart stopped in his chest, but he couldn't move or they'd know he was awake. "But I'm not going to tell you"

"Why not?"

"Confidentiality, I'll tell you maybe one day" Yixing said,

"why one day?" 

"Because then you'll already know what he said" Yixing said and looked over to Sehun's body. "We're rooting for you kiddo, even if you don't know it" 

"Whatever you weirdo, i'll come back later to get the results" Minseok said and left. 

"I know you're awake" Yixing said,

"...No you don't" Sehun mumbled before opening his eyes slightly. "So you know what I said?"

"Yeah I do, although I don't think the fainting was caused by that, it was dehydration" Yixing said

"I didn't mean it. I don't think Minseok is..." Sehun trailed off,

"thats fine, but i'm still rooting for you" 

"What do you mean..." 

"you'll know one day" Yixing said,

"yeah right" Sehun said and sighed.

"You know how you were saying you felt lonely?"

"Yeah?"

"The answer to that may be closer than you think just, don't let thoughts interfere with feelings okay? Some things are meant to happen. Just embrace it" Yixing said.

"I don't have any feelings for anyone though"

"I know, I meant in the future, a lot can happen in a few years"

"I guess so" Sehun mumbled as Yixing walked off to analyse the sample Minseok had brought in. 

Sehun had a chance to be alone with his thoughts, but did he want to be? Yixing had made some interesting points, why would someone let thoughts get in the way of feelings, but why would he tell him this? Did Yixing know something? Sehun knew he had read the report, but what else did he know, and why did he wish that Minseok had stayed longer? Why did he regret pretending to be asleep? Why did he almost... Miss him? No, he couldn't miss him, he was straight, right?

* * *

**Thanks for reading!**


	19. Pity

**I’m not rlly sure how long it’s been since I’ve updated but yeah,,,, I’ve been putting off writing this specific milestone point in my story but since I’m not getting any filler ideas I’m just gonna go ahead and do it. Hopefully it’ll spawn some more ideas!**

**tw: mention of rape**

* * *

 

Sehun recovered a lot quicker than he thought he would. After having fluids pumped into him every half hour by Yixing the colour started to enter his face again and the headaches started to subside. He was soon able to eat solid foods and sit up on his own without the weight of his body pushing him back down. Sehun had never really considered how much damage severe dehydration truly caused a person, but when you’re in the mafia water isn’t that hard to come by, even if it is only a small percent water and is mostly alcohol. 

Sehun was eventually allowed out of the infirmary, much to Yixings disappointment due to the constant company, and found himself wandering the halls waiting for his friends to get off their work shifts. He spent a lot of time in the library when he wasn’t working, thinking really hard and contemplating choices to make, which in itself is ironic since Sehun worked in the library too. Sehun couldn’t seem to concentrate properly, even when surrounded by hundreds of books, hundred of different worlds to dive into. His mind always found its way back to the conversation he’d had with Baekhyun and Yixing. What if everything he thought he knew was wrong? Surely it couldn’t be? Right? He was brought up on strict principles that had serious punishments if they were disobeyed, surely that type of control meant he was doing the right thing and thinking the right way. 

Sehun huffed to himself and looked around the seemingly endless shelves, he’d only managed to read 30 books and couldn’t seem to find anything more interesting. He looked up when the library door opened and in walked Minseok. The blue haired man scanned the room before settling his eyes on Sehun who had crammed himself in the corner. Minseok made a B-line for him, but once he got closer, made sure to slow down and seem less eager. 

“Figured I’d find you here” Minseok mumbled as he skimmed the shelf in front. 

“And you were looking for me?” Sehun asked, raising an eyebrow. 

Their relationship was interesting. They hated each other at the start but gradually started tolerating each other, they weren’t friends and probably wouldn’t ever be friends, but some how they often found themselves near each other when nobody else was around. Chanyeol found it interesting, often made jokes and purposely became “busy” when it was just the three of them. Sehun didn’t really care, he had his own alibis when it came to Chanyeol’s antics. A quick visit to Kyungsoo and Chanyeol wouldn’t be able to speak for the rest of the day.

Sehun knew the reason behind it, he wasn’t stupid, but admittedly he preferred to turn a blind eye and enjoy Chanyeol’s pained silence than physically show disgust at the pair. Especially since he was the only one, other than Chanyeol’s unfortunate cellmate, who knew about their “relationship”.

”sort of” Minseok said into the shelf as he dragged his finger across the multiple titles in front of him, “there’s a book you need to read” 

“what’s it about?” sehun asked, perking up a little to the interest of a new book.

”can’t say, never read it” Minseok shrugged,

”then why are you recommending me it?!” Sehun demanded, a little annoyed at the probably wasted time.

”i’m not” Minseok grumbled, “Yixing told me to pick it up for you, said it would answer questions or something” 

“oh..” Sehun said and pipped down, he looked at the ground in silence and slight embarrassment until Minseok placed  novel gently on his lap and walked off. A slight tingle travelled up Sehun’s leg at the contact but he quickly shoved it off and picked up the book. 

Examining it, Sehun realised it was a romance of some type, between some girl and guy. Sehun sighed in relief and flicked open the first page.

**XxX**

 “You find the book okay?” Yixing asked Minseok as he was finishing up his work shift. 

“Yeah, you really think it’ll answer his questions?” Minseok asked,

”deffinatly, that book has the key to everything” Yixing said and ushered Minseok out the way.

Yixing knew Minseok didn’t read, and deffinatly didn’t read romance books. The book that Yixing recommended was a book about a main character falling in love with this secondary character, and going through a whirlpool of problems and issues around their relationship, however never in the book is the gender of the main character mentioned, until at the end, when the two get married and the book shows an image of two young men laying in front of a sunset. Yixing knew that Sehun would get invested in the book and hopefully, upon finishing it, would realise that being gay is no different to being straight. Once that’s out the way, they can truly start working on their plan. 

“Shame it’s romance, id have read it” Minseok said and chuckled lightly to himself as a loud buzzer went off in the background signalling that their group sessions were about to begin. 

Yixing and Minseok met up with the others outside the large hall, Sehun had walked back with Chanyeol, still clutching the book and looking tired. 

Upon arival the room was set out slightly different to what it usually is. There were groups of two chairs facing each other scattered about the room. In the middle was one of the other doctors who was known for studying relationships between mentally ill and psychologically insane people. Baekhyun squeaked as he realised who their group session was being lead by, 

“Dr Momoi is the best!” He said enthusiastically to the group, “he always has these mad experiments for us” 

“I don’t think this time is going to be the same as the others” Minseok said and pointed to the board at the back. Every inmates name was written down and had another written next to it. The group had been set up into pairs and each pair was given a number. Those numbers were placed on each chair in the room. 

“Oh no it’s this again” kyungsoo sighed to himself and walked into the room.

”welcome! Find your name! Find your number! Find your seat!” The doctor shouted enthusiastically as he spun around pointing inmates in the correct direction. 

Sehun found his seat easily, he had been paired with Minseok. Sehun would have preffered Baekhyun or at least Chanyeol, but at least he knew Minseok. 

“For today’s activity we are going to be telling our partner the reason why we’re in here! You must be honest but feel free to leave out details” Dr momoi said and placed himself down on his seat with a clipboard and began taking notes.

There was always a reason for Dr Momoi’s group sessions, usually they’re for a scientific reason or for his own entertainment. This group session however, nobody knew. The inmates who’d been here the longest knew that sometimes this particular session appeares for seemingly no reason, although they presume it’s mostly due to an increased number in new inmates. Nobody other than the staff, and even though some staff didn’t know, Dr momoi’s true intentions. 

Sehun looked at Minseok and shrugged, “I was in the mafia but you already know my story” he said quietly. 

“You don’t know mine though” Minseok said, his whole body was tense.

”sure I do, you murdered loads of people and children. I don’t need to know your motives” Sehun said, watching Minseok clench his fists harder.

”no, I have killed one person” Minseok said, Sehun looked up at him, locking eye contact.

”one?” Sehun asked, almost bewildered that Minseok wasn’t a stone cold serial killer who butchered babies and used their blood to style his hair. 

“Yes. My step father” Minseok said, catching Sehun’s interest and making the split second decision to tell his wonderfully kept secret. “I was raped growing up. Countless times. My mother didn’t stop it, nobody did. I was depressed, helpless and constantly being hurt. One day I got sick of it. I borrowed a gun off a friend and when my step dad came home that night I shot him, lay there in his blood as the Adrenalin wore off. I’d killed him in self defence, he hurt me more than i’d hurt him” Minseok finished. His body was more tense than ever, his knuckles as pale as his face. 

Sehun’s mouth hung open, there was a deep pain in his chest forcing droplets to fill his eyes and overflow down his cheek. Sehun’s body was stone, unable to move it on his own command. But then he did it. He did something he never would have ever thought he’d to, especially to Minseok.

Sehun lunged forward, wrapping his arms tightly around Minseoks neck as he hugged him as tight as he could. Sehun felt Minseok’s tense body relax into his embrace as small parts of his shoulder became wet with tears. Sehun knew he wasn’t thinking, knew he would regret it later but he didn’t let go. Sehun kept tight ahold of Minseok. Although he would never admit it, Sehun could have sworn he even felt safe, wrapped around Minseok, as if everything in the worlds aligned. 

 


	20. Take a look under the hood

_Sehun lunged forward, wrapping his arms tightly around Minseok's neck as he hugged him as tight as he could. Sehun felt Minseok’s tense body relax into his embrace as small parts of his shoulder became wet with tears. Sehun knew he wasn’t thinking, knew he would regret it later but he didn’t let go. Sehun kept tight a hold of Minseok. Although he would never admit it, Sehun could have sworn he even felt safe, wrapped around Minseok, as if everything in the worlds aligned._

Sehun felt his face flush as he realised what he did. It flushed even more when he felt Minseok's shakes stop under him. Heart pounding, Sehun was left speechless unable to do anything. Unable to move, unable to comprehend what he was thinking. Sehun felt Minseok twist his neck so he could look up at him. The shorter man refused to look down to meet Minseok's gaze. Sehun stayed standing, staring at a specific tile on the ceiling. He could feel eyes on him, he needed to move, needed to make himself seem normal. Across the room, Baekhyun was sat staring at the two.

"Oh my god.." Baekhyun whispered to himself, not taking his eyes off the two as he tried to signal to Yixing who was sat across on the other side of the room. "Is this real...?"

Sehun felt his face starting to burn from his flush as he quickly pulled himself away from Minseok and sat himself back in the chair, refixing his vision onto a crack in the floor. Minseok stared at Sehun, confused, baffled, but grateful. Minseok's eyes were soft when Sehun finally looked up at him. The whole room was silent. Sehun felt his heart pound as their eyes locked contact, the room stood still. The blue haired man stared deeply into Sehun, reading his face, as if he was trying to read his thoughts, but Sehun's mind was blank. 

"And switch!" The session supervisor shouted from where he was stood in the middle of the room. The whole room, except for Minseok and Sehun, stood and sat down in a different seat. People passed by the two but nobody asked them to move, nobody hovered or lingered, just passed by. Minseok's gaze never left Sehun, Sehun couldn't find the energy to stop looking at him. Sehun felt a power longing him to stay staring, stay lost in Minseok's eyes. 

With a slight flick of his eyes, Minseok looked away towards the supervisor. Sehun stayed staring, lost for what to do as the previous moment had drained him. Minseok looked around before back at Sehun, 

"guess we've got extra time" he said, seemingly unphased by the situation at hand. 

"Uh-h yeah" Sehun mumbled at, "I guess it's my turn right?"

"Yeah" Minseok said, spinning around once more and catching the smug gaze of Yixing, "it's up to you how much you share" 

"No..." Sehun trailed off, "you shared everything, it only makes sense I do too" Sehun and took a deep breath. "Growing up I was housed in the mafia, I was a member there, and a damn good one at that. I had many missions and have a reasonably high bounty in some places, but you know this. What you don't know is what happened before I was in here. Before I killed that woman, before it was drummed into me how bad homosexuality is, before I changed." Sehun felt his voice start to shake, he knew he'd never spoken outright about this in this detail before. Was he ready? Was Minseok trusting? "When I first joined, I had a friend. He was a young boy around my age, he had nice hair but he never spoke. I guess that intrigued me, the mystery y'know?" Sehun's head was racing, he knew what point he was getting up to, the questions kept coming, but he didn't seem to stop speaking, "me and that boy, we got along great. I thought we were best friends... But then... Something happened" Sehun refused to look at Minseok, he wasn't sure of his expression, he wasn't even sure he was listening, "we were messing around late at night, one thing lead to another, and we kissed" Sehun felt Minseok shift, about to say something, but it wasn't over "but that's not the worst part. Trick me once shame on you type of thing. We kept doing it, we kept meeting up and kissing, we cuddled and would sneak into each others bed. It felt so right, I even..." Sehun trailed off, "I even told him I loved him" 

Sehun looked up to Minseok who hadn't taken his eyes off him, there were tears in Sehun's eyes and his voice shook every time he spoke. "When the elders found out they beat me and then beat him and one day he left and I couldn't understand why I didn't know I did anything wrong" Sehun said, his voice getting shakier and higher. "I was just doing what I saw the elders do with the women from the bar, why was it so wrong that I did it? Was I too young?" Sehun trailed off to a mumble. "One day I just woke up and saw black... I hated the boy for what he did to me, I hated the elders for beating me, I hated myself for being so wrong and so fucked" Sehun trailed off and his story ended.

Minseok's expression softened even further as he pulled his chair closer to Sehun. Minseok placed his hands gently on Sehun's, moving them away slightly when Sehun jumped, before placing them softly on Sehun's again. Minseok kept his eyes on Sehun's and gently squeezed Sehun's hands between his, "listen to me, Sehun" Minseok said slowly, pronouncing every word so Sehun could understand. When Sehun made a small nod, Minseok continued. "What you've been through is awful, I'm so sorry" Minseok watched ad the tears started to fall from Sehun's eyes. "Did you love him?" Minseok asked, Sehun stared at him for a few seconds before looking away and nodding slightly. Minseok squeezed Sehun's hands again, causing Sehun to look back up at him. "I promise, this secret will not leave my lips, nobody will know, it's safe" Minseok said and Sehun gave a small smile and nodded as the tears kept falling. 

**XxX**

"What the hell happened?!" Chanyeol shouted as he marched over to Minseok who was lounging in the common room with a book and a blanket, Minseok didn't even look at him. "OI?!" Chanyeol shouted as he got closer, 

"Chanyeol" a voice boomed from behind him, "behave" the voice said. Minseok looked up and mouthed 'thank you' to Kyungsoo who had followed Chanyeol from the corridor.

"MINSEOK" another voice screamed from the other corridor and through door came Baekhyun running at full speed. "What did you do?! What happened?! You got Sehun to actually touch you?!" Baekhyun asked through pants as he sat himself on the floor next to where Minseok was laying. 

"I didn't do anything, I just told him my story like I was meant to" Minseok said into his book,

"No way, you didn't tell us until you'd known us for at least seven months, first one on one conversation you get with Sehun and you tell him?! Was this a plan?!" Baekhyun asked,

"No it wasn't" Minseok said and sighed, "I was just thinking I should clear up the air from his time with you know who at the start of his sentence" 

"So he reacted like that on his own?" Baekhyun asked quietly,

"I guess so" Minseok said, "not important though and especially none of your business" 

Jongin, Jongdae and Yixing came walking over to the sofa's and sat themselves down, shoving Minseok's feet out of the way. 

"You three as well? Did Baekhyun tell you?" Minseok asked, sending a glare at Baekhyun. 

"I was just trying to help! Maybe this is good, you get me?" Baekhyun asked before looking around, "where is Sehun anyway?"

"He's with his therapist, he's pretty messed up after.." Minseok said and trailed off, 

"No way did he tell you his story?!" Chanyeol jumped in, practically shouting it at Minseok. 

"Yes he did" Minseok said, not bothering to look at Chanyeol. 

"Is he gay?! Is he not gay?! Why is he gay?! Who's the boy?!" Chanyeol shouted, firing question after question at Minseok who ignored him. 

Eventually, Minseok got annoyed and stood up, grabbing Chanyeol by the hair and pulling him up so the two were inches away from each other, "listen here Chanyeol, I know all of those answers and if you even consider for a second that I would destroy all of Sehun's trust for someone like you then you've got another thing coming. Now scam, all of you, I'm busy" he spat as he let go of Chanyeol and shoved him away.

From the corner of the common room, Sehun was stood, listening into the conversation. Sehun felt his heart jump as he watched Minseok's reaction to being quizzed. Sehun quickly moved out of the common room as he saw the group walking his way, defeated. Sehun couldn't help but smile as he thought about what Minseok did for him. 

* * *

 

**I know this is pretty short but It's needed for the backstory! I hope you enjoyed!**


	21. nightmares

**So since I neglected this story for so long I'm doing a double update! Two updates in one day! Don't get used to it, but this story is finally getting interesting!**

**This chapter goes out to my best friend, Kris. Babs you've done so much recently and there isn't a day where you don't make me proud. You did an amazing thing today so I'm updating again for you since you're apparently my biggest fan. I love u, stay awesome!**

* * *

 

Sehun lay in his bed and stared up at the ceiling. The darkness in the room was suffocating, not a single light entered leaving a black abyss engulfing him. Sehun shifted, trying to get comfortable in his bed but his fears wouldn't go away. The creeks in the bed and occasional squeak of distant doors left much to his war stricken imagination. The man was entering his fight mode, adrenaline pumping through his veins as every isolated noise posed as a threat. Sehun was scared, he was alone. After just awakening from a terrifying nightmare he was left to fend for himself until morning.

It had been around an hour since he originally woke up, but there was no clock in the room so he couldn't tell. The noises kept fuelling his darkest fears, bringing him back to his first night in the mafia. 

_It was dark, cold, lonely, and Sehun was surrounded by Korea's most infamous criminals. In any case, the soft snoring would be enough to send anyone into a deep sleep, but Sehun was on edge. Frightened. Sehun's eyes darted around the dim room, trying to find a familiar face, or at least a less threatening one. Someone stirred in the darkness near him. Heart in his mouth, Sehun hid under the blankets hoping and praying it wasn't an elder who was sick of his whining. Suddenly a hand was placed over his mouth, trapping the thin blanket between the stranger and Sehun's lips. The young boy thrashed and tried to scream but every time he opened his mouth the blanket was shoved further in. Sehun could have sworn this was going to be the end of him, but a soft voice spoke from above him._

_"Stop it, I'm not here to hurt you" said a quiet voice at a whisper,_

_Sehun slowly stopped thrashing around and stayed still, guard still up, ready to pounce at the slightest hint of danger. The blanket was quickly pulled over him and Sehun's eyes met with similar ones. A young boy, around his age, stood in front of him. Gentle eyes and a small smile made him clearly not much of a threat._

_They were the first and only words the boy ever spoke to Sehun, soon after the boy soothed him gently to sleep he was taken away and his tongue was split from his mouth. He would never say another word again, not to anyone, not to Sehun, it hurt him more than anything._

Sehun felt tears in his eyes. He had blocked that memory, blocked the weakness that he showed that night. He tried to never remember the words the boy spoke to him, the words that caused the boy to lose his voice forever. Sehun felt a deep regret spill over him, rushing through his veins allowing a deep depression to fill the gaps. Sehun felt himself starting to shake, unleashing the once blocked memory had caused a lot more problems than he thought. Unable to think straight, Sehun started to panic. The noises seemed to get louder and the darkness started to suffocate him.

Sehun thought back to the previous day, to what happened between him and Minseok. Sehun wondered how much trouble Minseok would go through to keep his secret safe. He remembered the feeling when Minseok's eyes captured him, the familiarity, the hope. Sehun couldn't help but match the feeling to one he'd felt before. There was something about the way Minseok treated him that kept him going, kept him engaged, secretly wondering where Minseok was at any moment. Of course he would never admit it to himself, after all Minseok was... Gay. Sehun wondered why thinking that didn't have the same impact it used to, how when he first entered the prison he wanted every fag in a 10 mile radius dead, but now... Now it didn't seem to matter. Frustrated at himself, Sehun stood up out of bed and paced the empty room. There was another bed in there, the bed that used to belong to Luhan until Minseok and his friends... Took care of him. 

Sehun wondered why they did that, they hardly knew him. Of course, they all had their reasons, Luhan had dicked a good number of them over so maybe that was why, so why did Sehun feel like there was a deeper meaning. Sehun's thoughts weren't getting any clearer, if anything they were getting more cloudy. 

A door banged causing Sehun to jump, the panic coming back. He'd managed to use Minseok to derail his panicked thoughts but something told him it wasn't going to be easy this time. Sehun cursed himself internally as he opened the door to his cell and walked out. 

The cool empty corridor was a relief to Sehun who had been imagining a hoard of gang members outside ready to beat him up, the man walked across the corridor, counting the doors as he passed until he reached the door to Minseok and Kyungsoo's room. 

Sehun considered knocking, but thought it would draw too much attention. He quickly opened the door and slipped inside. The room was warm and a small lamp was placed in the far corner slightly illuminating the room. Sehun scanned it until he came across a familiar mop of blue hair resting on a pillow. Sehun crept over to it, trying his hardest to stay silent. Upon reaching the bed he gently shook the figure that was tucked up tightly under the blankets. A small groan came from the blue hair as Sehun shook it harder.

"Ugh what, Kyungsoo?" Minseoks groggy sleep filled voice filled the room's silence. 

"It's Sehun" Sehun whispered, scared, but feeling brave.

The figure stirred in the dim light and groggily sat up, Minseok's eyes rested sleepily, almost closed, as he adjusted himself so he was sat up crossed legged on the bed. His bare chest was visible. "Sehun? What are you doing in here?" He asked, and yawned quietly.

Sehun was instantly filled with relief at Minseok's calm approach but the relief was soon filled over by pure panic.

"Ihadanightmareandicantsleepandcantstopshakingandididntknowwhattodosoicamehereimsorrypleasedontbemad" Sehun blurted out as the tears started to fall once again.

Minseok instantly stood up and wrapped himself around Sehun who was freezing and shaking violently. Minseok wrapped the blanket around the two of them and started to gently shush him until his cries were nothing but a quiet sniff. "It's okay, I'm here" Minseok said softly, remembering the days when he needed to do that to console Baekhyun on his first months in the prison. Minseok was aware he was deemed violent and aggressive, but to his little group he only wanted to protect him. Nobody spoke of the days they went to Minseok, they would act as if it never happened, but every single one of them had visited him at least once in the dead of night when their fears consumed them. 

"What happened?" Minseok asked, softly,

"I had a nightmare and the room was dark and I got scared and I thought someone was going to come and take me away and kill me and I thought about the boy and it was my fault I made his voice get taken away it was me" Sehun said between sniffs,

"Sehun no, it wasn't your fault" Minseok said, slightly pained by Sehun's sobs, 

"he would always console me when I woke up from nightmares but he's gone and I haven't had one in so long but he's not here now" Sehun's cries started to pick up,

"what would he do?" Minseok asked gently, trying not to scare Sehun or make him uncomfortable, Sehun didn't answer so Minseok repeated his question,

"...He would sleep next to me until the morning, he'd always be gone when I woke up" Sehun finally admitted,

"Did you want him to stay?" Minseok asked, gently swaying him and Sehun, rubbing his back occasionally to let him feel safe.

"Maybe" Sehun mumbled, unsure of his answer as he'd never really thought about it,

"Do you want to sleep next to me tonight? I'm not the boy but I can protect you" Minseok said, he regretted it after he heard it, the last thing he needed was Sehun remembering his homophobic tendencies and fleeing. 

Sehun thought long and hard on the question. The silence filled the room again as his cries had slowed down to a stop. Did he want to spend the night with Minseok? Sure, he felt safe with him, and Minseok could easily take down any threat, but was it worth going against everything he'd been taught?

"What about Kyungsoo?" Sehun heard himself asking,

"He's out" Minseok said gently,

"where?" Sehun asked, slightly curious due to the time,

"I think we both know" Minseok said,

Sehun thought back to the sleepover they had, how he woke up in the middle of the night and saw the two cuddling, he thought back to Joonmyun had told him about what Chanyeol and Kyungsoo did in the late night. 

"Then yes" Sehun said without thinking, shocking himself at his answer. Minseok felt his heart jump and the relief flow over him. Minseok got back into his bed, Sehun shakily followed him, and Minseok made sure to wrap both the covers and his arms around Sehun. Minseok fell asleep rather quickly, leaving Sehun awake in another room. However, this time he wasn't scared, this time he knew he would drift off to sleep, this time he was keeping himself awake. He wanted to soak up every ounce of the moment he could because he doubted it would happen again. It would go in the little memory bank he has, the one where he keeps all moments he knew would be forbidden but can't help but enjoy them. 

* * *

 

**Hope you enjoyed!**


	22. Dreaming Big

**So apparently I don't write in my notes what I update with so I have no fricken idea where abouts I am in this story, all I have is one plan for chapter 27 and no idea what I have wrote and haven't wrote so... Gonna shoot myself later ! Also, I wish this site had a way to post updates rather than writing a whole new chapter bc you guys I have something rlly cool planned n haven't acc gotten around to physically writing it yet bc I wanna focus on this story but it's going to be cool! The new story I've fully planned will be held in a medieval theme which I love writing! If you're acc curious about this new story I'd recommend following my profile so you can be notified when I acc get my ass around to writing the first chapter! I really hope this chapter isn't a trainwreck, it's 1am and I have to reread a few previous chapters to actually figure out where I am since I took another break for exams n such. Either way enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

 

_"Then yes" Sehun said without thinking, shocking himself at his answer. Minseok felt his heart jump and the relief flow over him. Minseok got back into his bed, Sehun shakily followed him, and Minseok made sure to wrap both the covers and his arms around Sehun. Minseok fell asleep rather quickly, leaving Sehun awake in another room. However, this time he wasn't scared, this time he knew he would drift off to sleep, this time he was keeping himself awake. He wanted to soak up every ounce of the moment he could because he doubted it would happen again. It would go in the little memory bank he has, the one where he keeps all moments he knew would be forbidden but can't help but enjoy them._

Sehun awoke in a groggy daze. His eyes were fuzzy and an unfamiliar scent filled his nose. Last nights nightmare was still fresh on his tender mind, the plaguing memory of a boy he once knew torturing him from beyond consciousness. Sehun lay still waiting for the fog to leave his clouded vision. He gave into the temptation and allowed the memory to fill his mind. He was never given a name, cursed to call him nothing but a boy for the rest of his days but Sehun never forgot no matter how hard he scratched at his scalp for Sehun himself was cursed. Cursed to live out forbidden actions done by nothing more than a naive child. He anguished at the pain caused by those thoughts, dreams and consequences. A lost boy would follow him for the rest of his life, a lost boy to haunt his slumber. That's all he was, just a lost boy forgotten by time and smothered by reality. A shaky memory with holes and mist, one that would never be complete. It would doom Sehun until the end of his days, until he was old and lay on his death bed surrounded by nurses and old faces forgotten in time, he was doomed to remember that boy. Would he be greeted by him? Like an angel transporting souls to heaven? Of course not. The lost boy was not an angel, nothing more than a demon sent from beyond to punish Sehun for everything he did wrong. An undying ghost from his past he so deeply wished to forget, to be purged from the demonic memories. A boy with no tongue sent from hell to torture Sehun even after his passing. 

A soft but warm breath on the back of Sehun's neck reminded him of where he was. He was not in his own bed, not in his own room. He was in the arms of Minseok. Sehun's heart raced and he so desperately wished to flee and bury the events of last night deep beneath the surface, but he didn't move. Sehun wished for his limbs to move, for them to take him away from a situation he so stupidly put himself in, yet they stayed relaxed under the blankets. Behind him, Minseok shifted, gently releasing the grip he had on Sehun's arm. The grip was protective, almost as if unconsciously Minseok knew Sehun would flee. When Minseok released his grip Sehun's heart slowed. He was able to regain his heart beat and assure himself he was safe. Sehun's vision cleared up and he was able to see the room. The bed where Kyungsoo lay was empty, calming Sehun down even more. 

Sehun's mind fell back on the boy, the lost boy, the lost boy with no tongue damned to take his soul in the dead of night when ravens called and children cried. His mind then fell onto Minseok, another boy, this one wasn't lost though. Minseok was a small candle in a dark cavern, a small candle that Sehun would use to traverse his deepest memories and trauma's. 

"Go back to sleep, it's still early" Minseok's husky sleep filled voice whispered, his face was close to Sehun's but Sehun did not jump. His body froze once more before gradually loosening as his mind shut down and sleep plagued him once more.

**XxX**

Sehun awoke hours later in his own room in his own bed. The covers around him were crumpled and messy, wrapped around his legs like savage snakes constricting their prey. He rubbed his eyes and pulled himself up so he could get a better look at his surroundings. Was everything a dream? Did he not actually go and see Minseok? Sehun thought long and hard to himself about the previous night, was it really all a dream? Something deep within him urged him it was in fact real, but Sehun wasn't sure anymore. Sehun lay back down, clutching the pillow to his chest, allowing his memory to fill from the previous day. 

_I was raped growing up. Countless times. My mother didn’t stop it, nobody did. I was depressed, helpless and constantly being hurt. One day I got sick of it. I borrowed a gun off a friend and when my step dad came home that night I shot him, lay there in his blood as the Adrenalin wore off. I’d killed him in self defence, he hurt me more than i’d hurt him_

What Minseok had told him stayed fresh in his mind, word for word repeating over and over inside his own head. Minseok was strong, Sehun wouldn't hide that fact, but what more was going on inside Minseok? 

_Sehun lunged forward, wrapping his arms tightly around Minseoks neck as he hugged him as tight as he could. Sehun felt Minseok’s tense body relax into his embrace as small parts of his shoulder became wet with tears. Sehun knew he wasn’t thinking, knew he would regret it later but he didn’t let go. Sehun kept tight ahold of Minseok. Although he would never admit it, Sehun could have sworn he even felt safe, wrapped around Minseok, as if everything in the worlds aligned._

Sehun tried to stop thinking, it was killing him, but his mind kept replaying the events. He remembered Minseok's sobs clear as day, the sound echoed inside him. It was something else he was doomed to never forget, something he would carry to his grave, something he would remember every time Minseok laughed. A haunted sound. Sehun felt his chest tighten and tears well in his eyes. He did not cry that day, he refused to be weak when someone clearly needed him to be strong, but now, alone in his room, Sehun could be as weak as he wished.  He let the tears fall, and they did not stop, waterfalls of pain he kept locked away for years. Was he broken? He would often wonder to himself. Would anyone else be broken in his situation? Was he strong or weak? The truth, that Sehun chose, was neither. He was simply alive, simply fighting against everything. Sehun needed to accept a truth in his life, for that now it had been spoken he could no longer deny it.

_"Did you love him?" Minseok asked, Sehun stared at him for a few seconds before looking away and nodding slightly._

Sehun loved that boy. He loved him more than he had loved anyone, and loved him harder than he loved himself. Sehun had lost that first love. He was taught, or conditioned, that his love was wrong, that his love was worth death. But did it? Sehun asked himself something he never thought he would. Did it really mean he deserved death because he fell in love at a young age? 

"Love" Sehun said to himself, to the empty room, "can love really be wrong?" he said through tears. "Am I wrong? Are we wrong?" He trailed off. He didn't know who he was asking, there wasn't anyone there and he didn't believe in a god, not really. For the first time in a long time Sehun doubted the words he was forced to obey, he questioned the teaching and questioned the motive. He thought back to Baekhyun and Yixing, they always seemed to happy in each others company. They had no shame cuddling in public or holding hands, would they act that way if it was wrong? Then again, Kyungsoo and Chanyeol were always sneaking around, were they ashamed? Did that mean it was wrong for them but not for Baekhyun? Sehun was confused. He normally had the answers, but these questions didn't exist inside the mafia. They weren't ever asked, and if they were you were flogged. 

Sehun let his hands run through his hair, he wished there was something to ask but could he trust anyone? Could he trust they were telling the truth? This was something Sehun knew he needed to figure out on his own, or he would confide in Baekhyun who had been nice from day one. Plan B seemed more appealing to him than figuring it out on his own. If everything was wrong, he'd rather find that out through knowledge rather than practice, however something deep within him knew that practice always played a part.

**XxX**

"You care for him" Kyungsoo said, sitting on his bed as Minseok stared at the ceiling,

"Of course I care, with what he's been through why wouldn't I be there for him" Minseok said quietly,

"So why did you hide it?" 

"He's like a bomb in these situations, it's better if he thinks it didn't happen" Minseok said, "it's for his own well being" 

Kyungsoo sighed. Once he came back in the early morning he found Minseok and Sehun snuggled up in Minseok's bed. He had been asked to bring Sehun back to his own room and to not wake him up. 

"You love him" Kyungsoo said calmly, Minseok didn't respond. The silence was all Kyungsoo needed, "don't get hurt, idiot" he said before standing up and leaving Minseok to lie on his own.

Minseok breathed a heavy sigh as his heart pounded at the previous nights memory. What he would give to keep Sehun in his bed, to hold him close and feel his heart, to breathe in his sweet scent and to be in heaven. Was it a bad thing to want? Of course. But did Minseok care? Clearly not.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so excited to be writing my first EXO fic so if the characters are out of character that it totally why, hope you enjoy anyway! Make sure to check out my other stories on here and on fanfiction!


End file.
